Second Chances (23 page)

He wrapped his arms around his father from behind. “Dad, it’s okay. I was worried about you and Mark too. I’m glad Mr. Jennings had his gun.” We stayed like that for a minute, then he went on. “Dad,” he said very gently “I know about you and Mark.”

At that, Antonio looked up at me with startled eyes. I just looked and nodded. He pulled back and Jason let him go, but sidled up to him in a side hug. He was already almost as tall as his dad, just not as filled out. He was trying to grow a moustache and it was about five hairs, but he was so proud of it and his newly deep voice.

“I’ve known how you felt about him for a long time. I really like Mark, and don’t be mad at him, but I asked him last week when he took me Christmas shopping if you two were together.”

Antonio just looked back and forth between us, face showing shock and then anger, then what I recognized as resolve. “Oh he did, huh?” he said and glared at me. “And don’t think you and me won’t be talking about this later.”

He turned to Jason. “What do you think about it?” I already knew, but he needed to hear it from his son.

Jason squeezed Antonio’s shoulder and said, “I think it’s awesome. I have three daddies,” he giggled. “Who else can say that? And that means I get hella presents, right? Wait ’til you see what I got you two.” Antonio bumped heads with him and pulled him into a real hug. “Seriously, Dad. I love you. And I love Mark. If you two are happy together, I think it’s pretty fucking great.”

Antonio swatted his butt and said, “Language, boy. You ain’t too big for a spanking.”

“I bet that’s what Mark says to you, too.” He laughed as he escaped from his dad and ran behind me for protection, like he’d done for all these years when he and Antonio played. “Just don’t let me catch you doing it,” he cackled. I couldn’t help but laugh. But I also saw the concern in Antonio’s eyes. I looked around and everyone else had gone back into the house to give us some privacy.

“Jason, you better tell him the rest so he can deal with it now,” I told the boy. Antonio jerked around to look at me. “Just listen to him,” I said. He nodded and the three of us sat at the picnic table Dad kept in the front yard.

“Mom knows too,” he said bluntly. Antonio got really pale. I knew it was his worst fear. “Dad, she doesn’t care. She said that explains why it didn’t work with you and her. She has Gary now and they love each other.” He looked at me, and then his father. “And you love Mark, don’t you?”

There was silence and I feared for one second, one long fucking second that he would deny it. Deny me. Just play it off as a misunderstanding. Then he reached across the table and took my hand. “More than anything, son. I know it’s gotta be weird, because it is for me too. But I love Mark. I don’t know if that makes me gay but I love him so much.”

And I could breathe again. Goddamn it but there must be some dust blowing around out here, because my eyes got all watery. I had to wipe them.

“If you marry him, then which one of you has to wear the dress?” the little smartass said. A beat of silence, and we looked at each other.

Antonio blushed red, and I turned to his son and said, evilly, “You, flower girl.” Damn if the blushing wasn’t a family trait.

“All right, let’s go in. I’m sure my sisters are gonna
love
this. Get ready for the Patty and Jennifer show,” I warned. We all got up and grabbed bags and boxes out of the truck and made our way inside.

I
T
COULD
’
VE
been worse, I guess. Patty and Jennifer were waiting about five feet inside the door with arms crossed, feet tapping. Antonio and I exchanged glances. I shrugged, looked the wenches right in the eye and said, “Mine. All mine. You can look but don’t touch. Got a problem with that?” I walked by and into the living room.

I heard Antonio behind me. “His. What he said.” They laughed, hugged him and Jason, and I could hear his protests all the way in the other room.

I didn’t catch too much shit from the rest of the family, either. Brenda and Linda, the God Squad, pretty much ignored us. The wound with Bren was still too fresh for me to say anything without a blowup, and it was Christmas. Linda I ignored as usual. Jennifer had Robert whipped, and he wouldn’t care.

Sam surprised me.

“You sure about this one?” he asked me. I looked at him and tried to figure what to say, mentally prepping myself for the hatred and snide remarks.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” I said. Fuck it, I thought. Nothing he could say could hurt me anymore. Not now.

He nodded and said, “Good. I don’t understand it, but it’s not my place to. Just, be happy little brother. You deserve it.” He awkwardly reached out and gave me a hug. Patted my shoulders hard and moved off.

I stood there a minute and couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry. Antonio came in then and I grabbed him, ducked into the bathroom and locked the door.

I slammed him against it and kissed him hard and rough. He froze, then gave back as good as he got. He pulled back and said, “Fuck, what’s got you worked up? Whatever it is, I like it.”

I reached down, unsnapped his jeans, pushed them around his thighs, and dropped to my knees. He was going commando so that made it even easier for what I wanted. “Mark, what the—” He moaned when I took him in my mouth.

My tongue swirled around the head and crown, and I rubbed the flat of it against that little spot right under the slit. He hardened quickly and I swallowed him whole. I reached around and grabbed his ass, pulling him into my throat as deeply as I could get him. The man couldn’t keep quiet when his cock was getting attention, so I pulled off and told him to grab a towel off the vanity. He did and shoved it against his mouth. I went back to his dick and took it in.

He took the hint, got into it. His hips began to pump that long cock in and out of my throat. I sucked him hard, wanting him to take pleasure and explode for me. I held my head still and let him fuck my mouth while I squeezed his ass and kneaded his hard cheeks to encourage him. He started to thrust harder and when his rhythm began to falter, I stroked a finger right over his pucker.

That got the result I wanted. He bucked hard. I worked in one finger and curled it onto his prostate. He pressed the towel hard against his mouth, but it wasn’t enough to fully cover the shout he gave when he started shooting. I sucked hard and swallowed everything he gave me. When he started to soften, I licked him one last time and stood up, pulled his jeans back up and tucked and zipped him back in his pants.

I took the towel out of his mouth and replaced it with my lips. I let him taste us, his load and my desire, and he lazily kissed me back. His eyes were closed, and he looked totally blissed-out. When I let his mouth go, he smiled. “What did I do to deserve that?” I didn’t say anything until he opened his eyes and looked at me.

“You love me,” I said.

“Yeah, Mark, I do.” His voice was soft and tender. “You know I do.”

“Now I know how much. You didn’t deny it.”

He stared at me for a long moment. “I told you before I was scared. I still am. But, man, I realized something today.” He launched off the door and crushed himself against me. “When I saw that fucker Zev put his hands on you, I wanted to hurt him. Bad.” He breathed hard and was panting. “If anything happened to you, I needed you to know I’m him. I’m that guy.”

I wasn’t sure what he meant. “What guy, babe?”

He pulled back and looked at me with such tenderness in his eyes. “The guy who would do anything to deserve a man like you.”

Fuck. I didn’t want to lose my shit here. I wanted him home in my bed, where I could make love to him and force him to scream my name. Soon, I promised myself. Soon.

“You are, Antonio. You are that guy. And I’m that guy for you too.

O
F
COURSE
Patty was standing outside the door when we cleaned up and went out. She opened her mouth to say something, but whatever it was died in her mouth. She looked at me, then Antonio, and what she saw there made her shut it. With love in her eyes she pulled us into a hug and held us for a long moment.

She cleared her throat and let us go. “Supper’s ready, boys. Come on in and let Brenda say grace and let’s eat.

Dinner was delicious. As always there was way too much to eat and not enough room to put it all. I made my way with a full plate to the cool table, and made sure Antonio had a place there too. Jason sat with Robbie at the kids’ table and the two of them looked thick as thieves. The looks between them, huh. I glanced at Antonio and he just shrugged and smiled. Yeah, I guess whatever they were up to could wait.

It was the usual suspects at the cool table this year. Patty and Ray, Robert and Jennifer, me and Antonio. None of the others made a move to sit with us and that was fine too. Dad looked over at us and smiled. I was amazed at how relaxed and happy he looked this year. Having Robbie living there made him feel needed, I thought, since all of us were grown.

Robbie was prospering. He’d filled in and grown up, and was a little taller than me now. He had a family now, and I’d be taking him the next day to see his sister. Life for him was good.

I looked at Mom’s chair, sitting empty. We still decorated it with garlands and lights every Christmas since Brian and I did it the first year she died. I thought how much she would’ve loved Robbie and wondered what she would make of Antonio. I closed my eyes for a minute and sent a quick prayer to her wherever she was, wished her peace and love, and hoped she was watching over her family tonight.

I felt a soft kiss against the back of my neck and opened my eyes, expecting that it was Antonio. He sat across from me taking to Ray, and when I turned around there was no one there.

I love you too, Mom.

September 2007

I
T
WAS
raining by the time I got to Antonio’s apartment. The day had been long and I was ready to have dinner, some wine, and relax with my guy. Any time auditors were in, my workload increased by a factor of ten. It always seemed like I was herding kittens when my attention needed to be focused on being professional and coherent. Not much fucking luck there.

So when I walked in I didn’t expect to see boxes everywhere. Antonio had been working hard on his new designs for computer cabinetry and workstations. The walls were covered with drawings and every surface of his place had computer parts, welded components, and other stuff I was afraid to disturb. But not today. Most of that stuff was in boxes, and I could hear him in his bedroom making noise. I called out and walked in to see what was going on.

I stood there stunned for a minute and just looked over the scene in front of me. Antonio had everything he owned out of the closets and drawers and was packing it in suitcases and boxes. His clothes, everything. I could see it all but it just didn’t register, and I don’t really know how long I stood there in the doorway before he saw me.

“Mark, baby, it’s not what it looks like,” he started. Actually came toward me. And that snapped me out of whatever the fuck daze or trance I was in.

“What it looks like is you’re moving. Or leaving,” I said and backed away. I needed space away from whatever the
hell
this was. Wine sounded better and fucking better, and I turned my back to go get some.

He followed me out into the kitchen and watched me pour a glass and take a few gulps. I stared at the counter. He wasn’t saying anything yet, but I was filled with anger and gloom. When I drained the glass for the third time, he reached out and took the bottle away from me. “Come on and sit down and we can discuss this,” he said.

“This? This? What the fuck is
this
?” I stood there rigid, my voice almost a shout. “’Cause whatever
this
is, I’m pretty fuckin’ sure I ain’t gonna like it.” Fuck, I hated it when I got mad. My accent went straight for the hills. That just made me madder, but it also made me get my shit together and do it quickly.

“Are you leaving?” I asked, point-blank. I stood still, watching him, waiting for the bomb in the room to explode and tear me apart. I should have known, I thought. Everything was going too well. I’d relaxed and stopped paying attention.

My mind jumped around everywhere while I stood there and waited and waited and waited.

Christmas was a miracle, I thought. Antonio’s world hadn’t fallen apart when he found out his son and ex-wife knew we were involved. In fact, he and Jason were closer than ever. Jeanine and Antonio had really talked, and she and Gary invited us to have dinner with them a couple of times to talk about whether to let Jason go out for football. It was freaky at first, I’ll admit, and if I’d shoved coal up his ass beforehand, Antonio would have shit diamonds before the end of the first beer.

Jason stayed over more frequently and even spent a couple of weekends at my dad’s house, getting into shit with his new BFF Robbie. Antonio and I talked about that relationship more than once, and while Jason had a girlfriend and was batting for the home team, I wasn’t so sure he wasn’t curious about the visiting one too. He was fifteen going on sixteen but not stupid. I remembered what made my dick hard at that age and cringed. I had Dad on the alert and Antonio covered his ears and la-la-la’d. Cute.