Snapped: Satan's Fools MC (8 page)

He felt hollow inside afterwards and he was worried sick. If he got the chance, he promised himself they’d move to the farm and she could have whatever animals she wanted. He put the shirt over his eyes and tried to even his breathing.
This too shall pass,
he was sure he heard her whisper, but when he looked at the screens, they were blank. He rubbed his chin, hating the stubble that was there.

Another thought crossed his mind. What if the Filthy Fiends had wiped everyone out and nobody had a clue he was in this cell? He’d die in here. The thought of that had him up puking again.

All he wanted to know was that Morgana was safe. He put his hand on the bible and prayed she was alive and well. He lay down holding the bible and recalled something his Sunday school teacher had quoted from
John 17:15
: “My prayer is not that you will take them out of the world, but that you will keep them from the Evil One.” He wondered why that had popped into his head. He’d rarely paid attention in Sunday school and tried to avoid going as much as possible. Now he wondered sadly if
he
, in fact, was the Evil One.

He put the bible next to his head and tried to sleep. He shut his eyes and all he saw was carnage and the lifeless body of Morgana. He would get out of this cell, and if anyone had hurt her, there would be hell coming on a Harley, and he knew True and Whistler would be right beside him.

* * *

Morgana woke with a start. The damn alarm hadn’t gone off and she felt awful. She was calling in sick to work today and resting. Taking a sick day was easy enough, as she rarely did it.

Then she remembered Raven.
Oh shit!
She hadn’t let him know that things were alright. She hurried out of bed and ran to the basement quickly. She’d just say the gunshots had been outside and she’d fallen asleep. Raven would be angry, but it was better to keep Lana safe.

She pushed the intercom button and spoke softly, “Raven, I’m sorry, but I fell asleep.”

Raven couldn’t believe it. “You left me to worry all these hours and you ‘fell asleep’?? Fuck you, Morgana. I went through hell. I thought you were
dead!
”

“I said I was sorry. I was tired. You know I wasn’t feeling well. My sister came over and I had to get her out of here. I didn’t have a good night, either.” She spoke calmly, but she was angry that he was mad at her. How many times had she waited and worried for him since they’d been together?

“I lay here thinking you were dead, our baby dead, and you had Lana here? Was she the cause of the gunshots? You knew damn well I’d worry and you didn’t give a shit,” he accused her.

“I said I was sorry
and I am!
How many times do you think I worried and waited for you, Raven? I even took the day off because I don’t feel well.” She wiped the sleep from her eyes. “We can fight or I can make you some breakfast. I don’t plan to explain myself to you!”

Raven took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly. Why was he fighting with her when all he’d done was promise to be a better man for her?

“Breakfast would be great,” he said calmly, “and … I’m glad you’re okay. It was hard wondering and not knowing anything. Babe, I love you. I don’t want to fight with you. If you don’t feel well, should you go to the doctor?”

Morgana thought about it. “Maybe I should. I’m so tired all the time. Does a cheese omelet sound good to you? I’ll make it and call and get an appointment with the doctor. I’m sorry, Raven, I really am.”

“I’m sorry I yelled … but I worried all night. Go to the doctor and make sure you and the baby are healthy.”

“I’ll be back in a few minutes and have a good breakfast for you,” she promised, then hurried back up the stairs.

Raven lay there and told himself not to be angry with her. He was trying to prove he was a changed man; snapping at her wouldn’t get his sorry ass outta the cell any quicker.

Morgana called in to work sick and sat on the stool at the breakfast bar drinking a cup of ginger tea. She was angry at herself and Raven. She should have let him know she wasn’t hurt but she truly had forgotten once she had gotten Lana out of the house. Her sister had been so wasted that it was time to sit down with True and talk about it. Whistler hadn’t been able to handle her and Lana was spinning out of control.

She looked at the time and saw it was 9am. She needed to get in to see Doctor Mann today and called to see when they had an appointment. Not until 2pm, right in the middle of the day.
Damn it.

She tossed some bacon on the cookie sheet, turned on the oven, and made Raven his cheese omelet as he liked it. Why? She didn’t really know, but it was partly from feeling guilty.

She thought about the time Raven was stabbed and how she didn’t know for days. He’d laughed at the whole incident, saying it was nothing. He needed almost a hundred staples to close the wound. Then there was the gunshot that grazed his shoulder. At least he’d come home and allowed her to treat it.

Raven lived his life wildly and she had grown apart from it.  It wasn’t that she hated it, but she saw so much ugliness in the prison. The men getting shanked by the weapons they made, men with no hope of ever getting out of jail, and the desperation she’d seen in their eyes made her think about Raven and her brothers in jail. It was her constant worry. True being in another prison had been hell, but they refused to let him in the prison she worked at. She tried to make sure all the brothers from Satan’s Fools MC were treated as well as she could treat them. She treated bikers a bit better because many of the nurses and doctors didn’t.

She hoped her replacement would be as kind.

She fixed the tray and grabbed some juice cartons and a pair of apples. Raven was going to have to start handing the trash over and she knew he needed a shower. Since he hadn’t asked for one, she didn’t offer it, but maybe she’d suggest he have one today.

She headed to the basement and hated balancing the tray, scared she’d fall down the stairs. She put the tray on the laundry table and pulled the chair over to the door. She may as well talk to him while he ate, and it would save her another trip; the stairs were getting to her at times.

“Raven, I made the omelet the way you like it. I’ll hang out down here and wait until you’re done.”

She didn’t hear a response.

So she kept talking. “I was thinking True and I need to talk about Lana. Once I’m not here, I don’t know what will happen to her.”

Raven stopped eating and thought about Morgana really leaving. He’d pushed her to this. Quite suddenly, he didn’t feel like eating anymore.

“You don’t have to leave, Mor. We can try and fix this. If you’ll give me a chance, at least we could try to work it out.”

“No, it won’t work. It might for a little while, but after working in that prison, all I ever thought about was you ending up in there. My Raven in a cage? No, thank you.”

“Mor …”

“I can’t ask you to not be you,” she cut him off. “I’d never do that. I could probably deal with it, but why should I have to? You don’t want me anymore.”

“That’s not true.”

“And face it, you haven’t for a while.” She needed to get all of this out. “We made promises. I kept mine and, sadly, you didn’t. I’ve had nothing to do but think. I don’t know why or when exactly things went bad. I thought the whispers of you cheating were lies. I made myself believe that, to be honest. Do you know when I knew it was all true?”

She waited for his answer. Raven sighed, shaking his head and thinking about what to say.

“Babe, I don’t know either. You’ve been a great ol’ lady. I don’t know why I fucked up. I guess you found out because I got sloppy. Part of me wanted you to confront me. Or maybe Lana told you.”

“No. It was when Whistler started to avoid coming over, and I saw him change toward you. I seriously thought about killing myself when it became clear that it was all true. No babies in my future, few friends I could trust, and a job that was dismal … and one day, I could have ended up dead or charged with some crime for helping your club. When I saw my brother pull away from you and the looks you two gave each other, I knew it was all true. I asked him and he never gave you up.” Her voice broke as tears flowed down her face. “Fuck you. I am leaving.”

“Mor, we owe it to ourselves to try and—”

“Try? No, I don’t believe you. If you had said we’ll make this work, I’d have opened the cell.”

“Morgana …”

“Are you done eating?” she cut him off, too mad to listen to him. “I need to do a few things before I see the doctor.” She sniffled.

Raven sighed. “Do you know what sex the baby is?” he asked, his voice quiet. “I’d like to know.”

She did not answer.

“We will fix this,” he said, pleading. “Just trust me. You don’t have to work at the prison—not while pregnant, and never again. And why would you ever think about killing yourself? Did you get help for that?”

“Of course not,” she snapped. “I thought of what I could do to make my life better … and I did. I got pregnant, and no, I don’t know the
sex
. I wouldn’t tell you if I did, either. I didn’t think I could live without you, but I already was doing that, wasn’t I?”

The words hit him so hard, she might as well have punched him.

“And why would you care?” she asked. “Once I’m gone, you’ll be free to live as you want. I don’t want anything from you. If I don’t have to, I’m not putting your name on the birth certificate.” She took a breath. “Did you know Lana said it’d be easier to kill you and live here? I refuse to even consider it, but she said that.”

Raven wasn’t surprised by that, but it didn’t help the hurt those words caused.

Morgana went on. “I was lacking somehow, and I don’t know what it was, but there is no reason for you to die. I want a man who loves me the way you used to. I want to see him look at me like you once did, like there is no other woman in the world for him. It won’t be you, but I’m sure I’ll find a man. Over the years, I turned down lots of your brothers and men from other clubs. I was faithful. It never crossed my mind to want another man.” She sighed. “I’m going to need the trash you’ve got in there, and you need a shower.”

After she removed the tray, Raven pushed the flattened juice boxes and what trash he had through the opening. He was still mulling over her words.
What the hell can I say to her to change her mind?
he wondered.

“Mor … I never ever thought you would think of killing yourself. That scares the shit outta me. You don’t feel like that now, do you?”

She stared at the tray, letting him talk and not giving him a reply.

“And I don’t want you with another man. I’d have to kill him. True won’t want to believe you about Lana; he looks the other way and she’s damn crazy. I’ve tried to talk to Whistler, but he says she’ll settle down. I don’t know if talking with True will help. Hey, do you think I could watch the weather channel? Gets boring in here, and I don’t want to see any more of those fucking whack job movies.”

“Like you care. Come on, Raven, you treated me like shit for a long time. You made me have no self-esteem, and I’m supposed to believe you care now?” she blurted, anger getting the best of her. “Yeah, sure. You don’t need to know what the weather is. Have a nice day, Raven. Oh, and I won’t leave a trail for you to ever find me, so you will
always
wonder who I’m with.” And then she left him after that one last dig, and she hoped it stung.

* * *

Morgana was upset and she turned the camera on so he could watch her in the bedroom. Being pregnant made her crave sex. Raven could go to hell and she’d drive him crazy seeing what she planned to do now.

She had a box of toys under the bed. Not like he’d have known.

She slipped out of her clothes and pulled the box out. She picked each toy up and looked at it, knowing he was watching. She ran her hands down each one and looked at it carefully and laid it aside as she picked up another. Her lips puckered as she looked for a vibrator. She had some crazy toys, most of which she had never used but bought just because she thought one day she’d try them out.

She didn’t need to look into the camera to know Raven was watching her. He was probably shocked as hell, seeing all of them lined up for a moment before she deliberately scooped all but one of them back up and dumped them in the box.

She lay down on the bed, opening her legs so he could get a good view. Raven could have something to think about while she was gone today. Her finger pressed the vibrator to life and she pushed it against her clit, moaning softly but loud enough for him to hear. She felt the heat build up inside of her as she moved the toy into her wet pussy.

She pushed it all the way inside and rubbed her finger on her clit. All she thought about was Raven and how much better he felt inside of her.

* * *

Raven couldn’t believe the sex toys he was seeing. When had Morgana gotten those? He watched as she began to play with herself. His cock was getting hard.
I’ve never met this Morgana,
he thought as he jerked off.