I
don’t even tell Lisa about what happened with Jonathan, not wanting to worry
her now I know that Cole is ok. I keep it to myself and occupy myself with
school, focusing on reaching the end of the day without bumping into that
monster again.
My
appointment with the nurse is schedule for four o’clock so Cole and I arrange to
meet up outside of school so we can go together. I know he won’t let me down
and hurry out of the main entrance once my day is over. I think I’m the first
person out the door and race across the carpark towards Cole who I spot waiting
for me in the distance.
I
fling myself on him the moment I reach him, throwing my arms around my neck as
I hug him tightly.
“Hey!”
He chuckles lightly, returning my embrace. “Did you happen to miss me today by any
chance?”
“You
know I did.” I answer, refusing to relinquish the tight hold I have on him.
He
must realise that something is wrong and tries to loosen my arms around his
neck in an attempt to make eye contact with me.
“Baby,
what is it? What’s wrong?”
“I
know about what happened to you this morning.” I confess, determined to get the
truth from him.
“What
do you mean?”
“I
know about the guys who were sent to beat you up and hurt you.”
“How
do you know about that?” He demands harshly, grabbing me by the shoulders.
“Jonathan
told me that he sent them.”
“Jonathan?
How the hell did he manage to contact you? How did he even get his hands on your
number?”
“He
didn’t phone me. He… he’s back at school.” I murmur, lowering my gaze towards
the ground.
“
What
?”
Cole whispers incredulously.
“Please
don’t be angry.”
“He’s
in there right now?” He asks, motioning towards the school behind me. “He’s in
there and he actually spoke to you? He actually came near you again?”
“Yes.”
I answer him reluctantly.
“What
did he say to you? Did he touch you?”
“N-not
in the way that you’re thinking.”
“Serena,
tell me the truth.”
“He
grabbed me in the corridor and told me what his friends were going to do to
you.”
“That
fucking son of a bitch.” Cole growls in fury, clenching his fists in anger. “I’m
going to kill him.”
“Cole,
please! I’m begging you right now not to do this. If you hurt him again then
none of this is ever going to stop. It will just turn into one vicious cycle
and I don’t think I can deal with any of that.”
“He
fucking touched you! How can you expect me to do nothing?” Cole yells,
attracting the attention of some students who are leaving school.
“B-because
I need you and I can’t risk you doing anything that’s going to get you into
trouble. You’re eighteen now and you could go to prison. I’d be left alone.”
I’m
hoping I can somehow manage to persuade him, desperate to convince him that
violence is not always the answer.
“Serena,
I can’t ignore this.”
“You
have to, Cole. Do it for me.” I plead with him, taking hold of his hand.
“You
don’t understand how much I want to kill him, how much I want to hurt him for
threatening you.”
Cole’s
breathing is laboured as he struggles to gain control over his violent temper,
pacing back and forth as he rakes his fingers through his hair.
“Cole,
I need to ask if you’ve been in trouble with the police before. I mean, before
you came here.”
“What
does that matter now?”
“Because
you have a much higher chance of being arrested if you’ve got a criminal
record. If you decide to go in there and hurt Jonathan again, you really think
the police are going to let you get away with it? What if you get arrested and
those guys come back for me? They could really hurt me and you know it.
Jonathan… he wants me to have sex with him and I’m scared that without you being
here, he’s going to make me do it.”
Emotional
blackmail is a last resort but I quickly realise that I’ve ran out of options.
If the only way to keep him from hurting Jonathan is to use myself in the
process, then so be it.
“He
what
? He told you he wants to have sex with you?!”
“He
told me he wouldn’t send anyone after you if I sleep with him. Please don’t put
me in that position by going in there and causing more trouble.”
“Serena,
what the hell are you saying? Are you telling me that you would actually let
that no mark fuck you just to protect me?”
“No!
All I mean is he is capable of hurting me, Cole. Without you, there’s nothing
and no one who can stop him. If you hurt him again, you’re going to go straight
to prison and I’ll be alone.”
He
pauses for a few moments, glaring at the school behind me in frustration.
There’s an internal battle going on inside of him and all I can do is hope that
he will make the right decision.
“
Fuck
!
I can’t believe this is happening! You have no idea how much I want to hurt
that piece of shit. I could kill him with my own two hands and not feel a
single ounce of remorse.” He groans in frustration, punching the wall in front
of him in a rage.
“Cole!”
I exclaim loudly, hurrying over to him so I can take a look at his hand.
“I’m
fine, it’s fine. Don’t worry.” He retorts sharply, pulling away from me.
“None
of this is fine.” I state sadly, lowering the tone of my voice. “Did… did any
of those guys who were sent hurt you?”
“Hell
no.” He replies firmly. “One of them caught me off-guard and that’s the reason for
the black eye which I have coming. I was on my way to school and had just left my
house after taking a quick shower. The coward hit me from behind and the next
thing I know there were about nine of them on me all at once, each of them
carrying baseball bats and weapons.”
“My
God, Cole…”
“Anyway,
I took out a few of the strongest and the rest of them ran away after they saw
what I had done to the ringleaders. I didn’t want to turn up at school with a
bloodied shirt and a messed up face so I called in sick. If I had known for one
second that the bastard who tried to hurt you was back in school, I would never
have stayed away.”
“I’m
ok, I promise you.” I reassured, trying my hardest to sound confident and sure.
“You’re
not ok and I don’t want you anywhere near him from now on. I want you right by
my side where I can keep you safe.”
He
takes a step closer towards me and gently strokes my hair back from my face so
he can place a kiss on the centre of my forehead.
“Listen,
we have an appointment in less than half an hour and we really have to get going.
We can discuss this later.”
Cole
ends up phoning us a taxi so we can make my appointment in time. He asks if I
want him to come in with me once we’re there but I decide to go in alone,
deciding it will be far less embarrassing by myself.
He
gives my hand a reassuring squeeze when my name is called and I give him a weak
smile before I walk through the corridor towards the room where the nurse is
waiting for me.
Afterwards,
I realise it wasn’t half as bad as I thought it would be and find Cole in the
waiting room, still playing on his phone like I left him.
“Is
that it?” He asks, jumping up from his seat. “Did she give you a prescription?”
He
motions towards the slip of paper I’m still clutching in my hand before placing
his hand on my lower back so he can guide me out of the waiting room.
“Yeah,
she asked me a few questions but was more than happy to grant me some contraception.
She gave me a six month supply and I have to take my first pill on the day I
start my next period for it to be effective.”
“Wow,
that’s great.”
“I
guess so.”
“You
are sure about this, aren’t you? I don’t want you to feel like I’m pressurising
you into anything.”
“You’re
not. I want to be with you, Cole. I want that more than anything.”
“You’re
sure?”
“I’m
certain.”
We
share another taxi home and decide to go back to my place instead of Cole’s.
I’ve never really spent much time there apart from that day he took me back
there straight from school. I’ve never met his mum and don’t even know if Cole
has mentioned me to her at all. I recognise that there is still so much I have
to learn about him and his past, his issues with his mother and the resentment
that he still holds for her and his absent father.
I
spot a rather expensive car parked outside my house when our taxi pulls up.
Cole pays the driver as I get out of the car and stare at the registration
plate on the vehicle in front of my driveway.
Cole
takes my hand and walks with me down the road, nearing my house as we draw
closer towards the black BMW right before my driveway.
“Nice
car.” Cole whistles, taking a moment to admire its splendour.
“I
was actually just wondering who it might belong to.” I confess, allowing my
gaze to absorb the extravagancy of it.
Cole
takes me by surprise when he next looks up and comes to a standstill. His mouth
falls open in shock and his eyes widen in disbelief. He looks like he’s seen a
ghost and it unnerves me because I’ve never seen him like this before. He
appears to be stunned, enraged and infuriated at the exact same time.
“What
the fuck is
he
doing here?” He growls angrily, breathing heavily.
“Huh?
Who? Who are you talking about?” I ask in confusion, taking a glance around
before I spot the person he seems to be referring to.
My
father.
He’s
making his way out of my house but stops and turns around to face my mum so he
can say something to her. Neither one of them have seen us and I didn’t even
know my mum was at home, let alone inside conversing with my estranged parent.
“I
have no idea.” I respond quietly, watching them closely. “My mum told me that
my dad wanted to come and see me but I had no idea it would be today.”
Cole
turns towards me with a sickened and tormented expression on his face.
“Wait
a minute… are you saying that the man leaving your house right now is your
father?”
“Unfortunately,
yes.” I sigh wearily. “Why else would he be talking to my mum?”
I
watch in horror as Cole’s complexion is drained of all its colour. He looks
like he’s about to faint and he no longer seems to have the strength to stand
up.
“I…
I didn’t know.” He mumbles incoherently, taking a step back from me.
“Cole,
what’s wrong? What’s the matter? Tell me what’s happening.” I beg him,
attempting to close the distance between us so I can touch him.
“No!
No, don’t touch me. I-I have to go.” He stammers, turning his back on me.
“What
do you mean? Are you ok?” I ask once more, grasping hold of his arm in concern.
“Let
go of me, Serena.” He groans painfully, forcing me to loosen my grip on him. “I…
I need to leave.”
“Just
tell me what’s wrong.” I persist, following him when he starts to take off down
the road in the opposite direction. “How did you even know that he was my
father? I’ve never shown you a picture of him and I don’t look anything thing
like him. Why did you act like you know him?”
I
continue to fire these questions at him, relentless in my quest to uncover the
truth. He’s hiding something from me and I’m determined to find out what it is.
“
Fuck
…
I-I can’t do this right now! Let me go. Don’t come near me, do you understand?”
He
shoves me away from him with so much force, he almost knocks me off my feet. I
can do nothing but gape at him in astonishment as he walks away from me, quite possibly
forever.
And
I have no idea why…
Chapter Nine
I
come face to face with the man who is responsible for Cole’s bizarre and
unnerving behaviour as I walk up my front driveway. My father greets me with a
warm smile and opens his arms out for me, hoping I will run towards him and
return his embrace.
“Serena!
I can’t believe how much you’ve grown! You were such a young girl the last time
I saw you and now you’ve turned into a young woman. You’re beautiful.” He
gushes, taking a step back so he can observe me properly.
“Hi,
Dad.” I reply meekly, feeling somewhat uncomfortable now that I’m in his
presence.
He’s
still extremely handsome and it’s as though his age has only enhanced his dark,
and rugged good looks. There is an unsettling similarity between my father and
Cole, a similarity I tend not to think about for fear of knowing that I’m
exactly like my mother. I don’t want to make the same mistakes that she did
because of a man I cannot resist.
“Where
have you been?” My mum snaps at me, pulling me out of my deep contemplation.
“School.”
I answer simply, hoping she won’t be able to see through my lie.
She
folds her arms across her chest in annoyance, glowering at me as though I
deliberately stayed away on purpose.
“Your
father has been waiting for you to get home for the past hour.” She explains
harshly.
“I’m
sorry but I didn’t know you were going to be here.” I tell him, turning to face
my dad instead of my infuriating mother. “I decided to catch up on some homework
at school and that’s why I’m late back.”
I
know it’s yet another lie but it’s not like I can tell them about where I’ve actually
been or who I went there with. Sometimes, the safest option is to disguise the
truth and hope for the best.
“Smart
girl.” He encourages me, smiling proudly.
“If
she was so smart she would make sure she came home on time.” My mum retorts
spitefully, making her way back indoors.
“Ignore
her.” My dad advises me. “She’s always been a little grouchy in the
afternoons.”
I
observe him chuckle as he rolls his eyes in her direction, moving his gaze back
to once he feels me watching him.
“She’s
always been that way.” I reply sullenly.
“Listen,
do you want to go and grab a quick coffee or something? I’m going to be in town
for the next couple of days but I’d really like to take you out tonight. It’s
been so long since we last saw one another.”
“That’s
not my fault.” I quip harshly, reluctant to engage in any form of verbal
exchange with him.
“I’m
not saying it’s your fault, Serena. I just want to spend some time with my
daughter, is that so terrible?”
I
sigh deeply, weighing up the pros and cons of taking him up on his offer. I suppose
I should give him a chance, an opportunity to explain things to me and to find
out the reasons behind his absence in my life.
“Ok.”
I acquiesce, nodding my head slowly.
“Let’s
get going then, I don’t want to keep you out too late.”
He
walks towards the car that Cole and I were admiring before he took off on me
and I stare at my father in astonishment.
“This
BMW is
yours
?”
“Of
course, who else would own something like this around here?” He replies
haughtily, giving me a playful wink to let me know he’s just teasing.
“Should
I let mum know where we’re going?” I ask him, wondering if she would even care
if I were to tell her.
“She
already knows. I cleared it with her before I left.” He assures me, opening the
car door for me.
After
spending a couple of hours together, my dad drops me back home around eight
o’clock. He promises me he will be in town for the next few days and vows that
we will spend more time together before he leaves.
I’m
still not sure I entirely trust him. I don’t know if I’ll be able to trust him
ever again after the years we’ve spent apart but I have to admit, it
is
nice to spend time with him again. My father is someone I used to look up to as
a child, I was in awe of him and thought he was a damn superhero before he left
me.
If
he can prove himself to me and promise me he will stick around and stay in
touch… I suppose I can see a way forward for us. Forgiveness is a huge part of
who I am and I don’t like the idea of being someone who stays angry or
resentful. It’s not the sort of person I want to be.
I
try phoning Cole as soon as I get home, still concerned about the unexplainable
outburst of his from earlier. I almost wish I had the courage to just go by his
house and check on him but I really don’t know if he’ll even be there. I have a
feeling he doesn’t spend an awful lot of time at home and am also fearful of
coming face to face with his mum.
As
far as I’m aware, she doesn’t know who I am and I know that my relationship
with Cole is one he chooses to keep private. Neither of us want our dysfunctional
parents to cause problems for us and I have to respect Cole’s wishes when it
comes to keeping us separate from his life at home.
There’s
no answer when I try calling him, going straight to voicemail every single
time. The fact that Cole is not answering my calls makes me anxious. He’s never
ignored me like this before and I’m left feeling incredibly vulnerable and
foolish by the time I go to bed. I fall into a restless sleep, struggling to
control the racing thoughts inside my head.
It’s
one of the first nights that we’ve been apart and my instincts are screaming at
me that something is really, really wrong.
I
don’t know what it is but something has changed, something which fills me with
a sense of dread and foreboding.
It’s
different now, at least I know it will be.
I
still haven’t heard from Cole when I wake up the next morning. He hasn’t
responded to any of my phone calls or text messages, choosing to ignore me and
leave me worrying about him instead. His silence is enough to drive me crazy
and I swear I actually come close to destroying my phone altogether in
exasperation.
I
honestly do not understand what’s going on and my frustration only increases as
the hours pass by and I hear nothing. In the end I’m forced to pack my things
for school and get ready to leave the house on time for Lisa who is due to pick
me up any minute. Reaching for my phone one final time, I leave another tearful
and heartfelt voice message for Cole, begging him to contact me and let me know
what’s going on.
I
don’t mention anything about the day before to Lisa, only revealing how
straight forward my appointment went with the nurse and the prescription she
gave me to start taking contraception.
“So
we’re still on for tonight then?” Lisa inquires optimistically, pulling into
the school’s large carpark.
“I’m
sorry, what did you say?” I mumble vaguely, unbuckling my seatbelt.
“We
are
still having that girly night in you promised me?”
“Oh!
Of course we are.” I reply enthusiastically, hoping she won’t realise that it
had completely slipped my mind. “You want to come over around eight o’clock?”
“That
will be fine. Do you want me to bring over some movies with me?”
“You
can do but please make sure you don’t include any chick flicks.”
“I
take it you’re not in the mood for romance?” She teases playfully, raising her
eyebrows at me.
“Definitely
not.” I retort firmly.
“In
that case… I won’t even ask.”
Cole
is nowhere to be seen at school and as my day goes on, my anxiety increases. I
send him a couple of more messages around lunchtime, eager to find out what’s
going on and the reason behind his absence and prolonged silence.
I
know his odd demeanour has something to do with my father but I have no idea
what it could be. I need answers and I’m determined to find out the truth, if
only he would talk to me or at least return my phone calls.
There’s
no sign of Jonathan at school which is something I’m thankful for and I manage
to get through my day without much animosity from anyone. I walk past Louise in
the main corridor at the end of the day but she doesn’t say anything to me,
choosing to ignore me completely. It doesn’t bother me at all, realising that I
prefer Louise’s silence over her contempt and make my way out of school so I
can meet Lisa.
She
drops me off at home and we arrange to meet up later on tonight. My mum isn’t
at home so I decide to run myself a hot bath and tidy the house before Lisa
comes over. I also decide to switch my phone off so I won’t be tempted to keep
checking it all night. Lisa has been such an incredible friend to me, the least
I owe her is my undivided attention this evening.
Lisa
knocks on my door a couple of hours later with a stack of films for us to watch
and some popcorn. We curl up on the sofa and spend the rest of the night in
front of the TV, devouring our way through snacks and hiding behind our
cushions when we reach a truly scary part of one of the movies.
She
looks at me once the film has finished, watching me closely. It’s as though
she’s deciding whether or not she should say something to me and my curiosity
wins out in the end.
“What
is it?” I prompt her, nudging her gently with my foot.
“I’m
just wondering if you’re ok. You don’t seem like yourself this evening.”
“I’m
sorry. I’ve just got a few things on my mind right now.” I admit, sighing
wearily.
“Such
as…?”
“Well,
there’s my dad and then there’s Cole.”
“Your
dad
?” She exclaims in surprise.
“I
came home last night and he was here. I knew him visiting had been mentioned
but I really didn’t think he was being serious about coming to see me.”
“But
that’s a good thing, right? I know you’ve always wanted to be closer to him.”
“I
know it’s just… Cole acted so strange when he first saw him. It actually looked
like he was going to faint. He took off on me and hasn’t been in contact since
then.”
“Are
you serious?”
“I
haven’t heard from him all day and now I’m really worried.” I tell her, raking
my fingers through my hair.
“Have
you tried calling him?” She asks me gently.
“Lots
of times. I’ve left him several messages as well.”
“I’m
sure there’s no reason for you to worry about him. He’ll let you know what’s
going and reassure you that everything’s ok. Cole is absolutely crazy about
you, Serena. Anyone can see that.”
“How
can he be when he treats me like this? He’s vanished and now he’s deliberately
ignoring me.”
“What
are you going to do?”
“If
I haven’t heard from him by tomorrow night then I’m going to go over to his
place. I know he wouldn’t want me to but I don’t feel like I have any other
choice. I need to find out what’s going on.”
“Do
you want me to take you?” She offers kindly.
“Would
you really do that for me?”
“Of
course I will. Just let me know when you want me to pick you up.”
“Thanks
so much, Lisa. You’re a great friend.”
She
ends up leaving around midnight and I stand at the front door so I can wave
goodbye to her. The temperature outside is really cold tonight and the wind is
powerful, causing the trees surrounding my house to creak and howl as the harsh
breeze swirls around them.
I
fold my arms across my chest and close the door against the darkness. I still
haven’t heard anything from my mum so I guess she’s either working a late shift
at the hospital or decided to stay the night with a friend. Either way, I have
the house to myself and will have to spend the night alone.
It’s
not something I feel that comfortable with but I’ve never really had a choice
in the matter. I spent a lot of my childhood by myself, forced to stay alone
and get myself ready for bed. The only difference now is I’ve become used to
Cole being here and it now feels strange for me to be sleeping in my own bed
without him.
I
somehow manage to fall asleep right away, despite the agonising questions which
keep whirling around inside my head. I put it down to exhaustion and only wake
up when I hear a loud noise coming from downstairs. My heart is hammering
inside my chest as I sit up in bed, trying to listen out for any other sounds
which might arouse my suspicions. A part of me even wonders if I had been
dreaming but that’s when I hear it again.
It
sounds like someone just smashed one their fists against the kitchen’s backdoor
and the violence behind such an aggressive sound forces me to reach for my phone.
It’s a struggle to locate it in the dark but when my outstretched hand finally
grasps it, I clutch it tightly. I’m praying for this terrifying moment to be
nothing but a nightmare, desperate to erase every single thought I have of my
current situation being something sinister.