The Beginning of Us (107 page)

“That does not make me feel better,” Parker said through clenched teeth.

“I don’t expect it to but it’s just odd.” I shrugged. I should have gone to school and taken criminal psychology or profiling. Maybe then I could figure out why Devin did what he did to me.

“Do you know these guys?” Parker asked me, his back stiffening.

I looked up at him and nodded. “I did. Years ago.”

“Well, pet. There’s more to you then I thought.” He cupped the back of my neck, giving it a light squeeze, basically letting anyone know who I belonged to. Or he could have been reminding me.

“How do you know them?”

“I met them through Devin,” Parker mumbled.

Greyson looked my way. He frowned and then recognition shone on his handsome rugged face. “Well, well, well. Keely Price.” He rose to his feet and walked around the table, closing the distance between us. He pulled me in for a quick embrace. “You finally got away from Devin, I see.”

I smiled softly at Parker.

“That’s why we’re here, but I didn’t realize that you know Keely,” Parker said, brushing his thumb along the side of my neck.

“What the hell did he do this time?”

“He showed up last night at my business dinner,” Parker bit out. “Trying to scare Keely.”

Greyson swore and turned back to the table. “Carry on. I have shit to deal with.”

The guys nodded and went about their business.

“Come with me.” Greyson led us through a set of double doors and down a long hall.

“I didn’t realize you were in New York,” I pointed out.

“Business is better here.” He turned to us, stopping in front of a locked door with a keypad to enter. “Whatever is said behind these doors stays here. I don’t expect either of you to trust me.” He rubbed his chin. “But I know you must trust me at least a little or else you wouldn’t be here.”

Parker kept an even stare. “I never ask for help, Greyson, but you know Devin probably better than I do. I’m doing this for Keely. No one else.”

“Good answer.” Greyson entered a code into the key lock and pushed open the door. He paused. “Now, just so we’re clear, just because I know him better doesn’t mean I trust the fucker. But we like to let him
think
that I trust him.” He winked at me.

“Just get us the shit that we need to find out and I won’t mention your name at all.”

Greyson clapped his hands together. “That’s what I like to hear.”

We followed him and I shivered at the cool air surrounding us.

Parker wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Are you okay?”

“It makes me nervous because I don’t know what you’re going to say,” I whispered.

He pinched my chin. “Everything I say and do is to protect you.”

“Why?”

“You know why.” He released me and walked up to a large window.

“Okay. Talk to me, my man, why are you guys here? Not that I don’t like the visit and all. But Keely has stayed away all this time, so why now?”

My cheeks heated and I looked down at my feet. “I wanted to stop by. You guys were the only ones besides Troy that were nice to me and treated me like a normal human being but…I needed to get away. For good.”

“Hey. I understand that, darling. Now tell me, Devin showed up last night?”

Parker made some sort of noise that sounded like a growl. Under normal circumstances, it probably would have sent a flush over my body but this time, it scared me. Not for me but for him.

“I saw him in the crowd and I told Parker. He got his security to search him out but he still got into the convention hall,” I said, pacing back and forth. “I know he was just fucking with my head but…he wants something.”

“Not going to fucking happen.” Parker’s voice was even, cold. So very cold. His hands clenched into fists at his sides and if I didn’t know any better, I swore he was plotting how to end Devin.

Greyson sat back and brushed a hand through his short blond hair. “I’m assuming it’s you that he wants?”

I nodded slowly. “Maybe if I talk to him—”

“No,” Parker snapped, spinning on me abruptly.

“I just think—”

“Stop thinking. It’s not going to fucking happen.” Parker’s nostrils flared, his thick neck cording as a slight blush spread over his skin.

“I’m going to give you two a moment,” Greyson said while Parker and I stared each other down.

“Talking might help, Parker,” I suggested after Greyson left.

At that moment, Parker closed the distance between us. Wrapping a hand around my throat, he tilted my head, staring intently into my eyes. “It’s not going to happen so shut the fuck up about it.”

I struggled out of his grip, pushing his hands off of me. “You can’t stop me. You don’t own me, Parker.”

He raised an eyebrow and laughed. A cold, mechanical laugh that sent a shiver racing down my spine. “I owned you from the first time you stepped into my office,
pet
.”

I shook my head and walked around the table, hugging myself.

“You don’t think I do? What the fuck did we do last night?” he asked, his voice rising.

“Sex. It was just sex.” Although the words left my lips, even I didn’t believe them.

“Just sex,” Parker repeated. “Come here.”

Before I could respond, my feet moved of their own accord, bringing me a foot away from him.

“You just proved by listening to me right now that this is not just sex.” He took a step towards me, forcing me back. “This is more. Much more.”

I jumped when I reached the wall.

“I don’t know why you listen to me so easily. I’ve never met someone so submissive before but you, Keely,
are
submissive in every sense of the word.” He placed his hands against the wall on either side of my head, caging me in. “Look at me, pet.”

My eyes glanced up, meeting his. My heart pounded so hard against the walls of my chest, I was surprised he couldn’t hear it. “Why? I was never like this with Devin,” I said, my voice small.

“Devin destroyed you. The shit he did? He tore you down and built you back up into what he wanted.”

“But you told me that you want…you want that too.”

Parker pinched my chin and tilted my head. “Did Devin give you a safe word?”

“No. He told me what to do and I did it whether I liked it or not.”

“Why?”

“Because I was scared of him,” I whispered, tears welling in my eyes as the memories rolled in. Pain. So much pain. Heartache. Torture. I never feared for my life when I was with Devin. I only feared for my soul. Maybe now I wasn’t a good judge of character.

“Are you scared of me?” Parker asked, sliding his hand to the back of my neck.

“No. I trust you. Completely. But the way I give in so easily scares me. I keep wondering if I
should
be scared of you.”

“He forced you into submission in one of the worst ways possible.” Parker grabbed my hand and brought me to the couch before kneeling at my feet.

My eyes widened and as much as my body screamed for us to switch places, my mind was desperate to make this right. “I need to tell you something,” I heard myself say.

“Keely.”

I cupped his cheek. “Please.”

He held my hand and kissed my palm. “Hear me out first.”

“Parker—”

“What Devin did was abuse. That’s it. He may have loved you in his own sick little way but what you had with him was not healthy. He’s the reason you built up these walls. He’s the reason…God, after all of my training…” He rose to his feet and paced in front of me.

“That first day when I walked into your office and you told me to stand and then sit and I did without even thinking, although I was confused about it at first, now I realized that it opened up something new in me. Something that needs…you,” I said, wringing my hands in my lap. “But it’s dark, Parker.”

“I know.” His gaze took on a faraway look as he glanced down at me.

“I’ve heard of people in abusive relationships finding the BDSM lifestyle and it helping them. I know this isn’t one of my books but, Parker…”

“What?”

“I need you. I need this.” I motioned between us. “I need whatever this is and whatever it turns out to be. I’ve never felt so alive. You heat me up like a raging inferno. You…you…God, even your voice drives me mad.”

“My voice?” he asked, kneeling in front of me again.

“If I could bottle it up and pour it into my bathtub, I would bathe in the deep, rumbly words that leave your lips.”

His eyes darkened. “You know the safe word is there for you to use it, right?”

I nodded. “I’ve used it once already, remember?”

“I had to tell you to use it, remember?”

I sighed and placed my head in my hands. “I didn’t want you to be ashamed of me. I didn’t want you upset.”

Parker grabbed my wrists, forcing me to look at him. “I would never be upset if you used your safe word. That’s what it’s there for. What upsets me is the fact that you didn’t use it until I told you to. Were you scared to use it?”

I thought back. “I’m not sure. When you pinned me down, I loved it but then I started thinking of Devin.” My wrists tingled with memories of him tying me up with extension cords. “He wasn’t gentle about restraining me,” I said, brushing the very faint scars with a finger.

“It triggered a memory. Shit, angel, I am so fucking sorry.” He cupped my cheeks and kissed me fully on the mouth. “I would never hurt you,” he murmured against my lips.

“I know,” I said, gripping his wrists. “Why do you want me so much? You could have any woman out there, Parker.”

He leaned back, his brows furrowing. “You stirred something deep inside of me. I may have unconventional needs and desires but I want to share them with you. BDSM can help you build up that trust again. Not just for me but in general. It can help me learn control. It can bring us together, pet.”

“Par—”

A heavy knock sounded on the door, making me jump.

Parker smiled softly and kissed my forehead before rising to his feet. “Come in,” he barked.

Greyson entered and looked between us both. “We good now?”

I nodded and sat back, crossing my arms under my chest.

“What information did you want me to find out?” Greyson asked, sitting at the head of the table.

“What the hell Devin wants.” Parker stood at the window that looked out into city. The early afternoon sun was high, cascading rays of warmth onto the buildings. “He trusts you and your guys. One of you is bound to get some information out of him.”

“Did he say why he was back or in New York for that matter?” Greyson tented his fingers under his chin, rubbing the scruff along his strong jaw.

“I told him before all of this shit started that I was coming here. At the time, I had no fucking idea that he knew Keely.” Parker cursed, clutching his hands at his sides.

“Shit. Alright. I’ll get on it.” Greyson rubbed the blond goatee on his chin. “You know this comes with a price right?”

“I’ll pay you.” Parker’s voice was eerily calm and even. “Whatever it fucking takes.”

“Did Devin say anything about why he was back?”

I shook my head.

“He wants Keely. That’s all I know,” Parker mumbled.

“Like that’ll happen,” Greyson scoffed.

I allowed Parker to finish up the conversation. I was too tired. Exhausted from the emotional trauma of seeing Devin again the night before and how the rest of the night played out. But seeing the dominant side of Parker made me feel safe, protected. And yes, owned.

A lump formed in my throat. I needed one last wonderful moment with him before he left me. And he would leave me when he found out that what Devin and I had was more serious than he thought.

***

“I’m sorry for taking you away from your business dinner last night,” I said, curling my feet under me and wrapping my hands around Parker’s arm.

“You didn’t.” Parker typed away on his lap top when his phone rang.

We were finally on our way to the airport, heading home. Leaving the city that opened up new possibilities.

“We’re headed there now. No. Shouldn’t be too long of a wait. They’re just fueling up the jet. I don’t mind waiting.” Parker rolled his eyes. “I’m not that high maintenance, asshole.” He looked down at me, a slight smile spreading on his face. “She’s…fine. Well, what do you expect?” He sighed. “We’ll be at
Rope
sometime soon. If you see or hear from Devin, call me. Right away. You hear me?”

“Parker?” I said after he hung up his phone.

His tense shoulders drooped and he put his laptop away before turning to me.

“I am sorry,” I said softly, chewing my bottom lip.

“Stop,” he snapped. “Stop fucking apologizing for everything. It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault.”

I nodded, forcing back the tears that had welled in my eyes. “I’ve worked so hard at becoming strong but seeing him last night made me feel like I’m that sixteen-year old girl that he destroyed.”

“Shit.” Parker pulled me into his arms as the tears flowed freely down my cheeks.

The sobs hardened as they wracked through my body. “If I could erase those nightmares and replace them with just you, I would. Even if nothing comes of this, you’ve made me the happiest woman alive,” I said through my tears.

“I want to help you. In any way that I can. But Keely…”

“What?” I wiped under my eyes.

“You may not like me at times but know that everything I do is for you. I
will
break you. I wasn’t just talking out of my ass.”

“Why?” I whispered.

He pinned my hands behind my back and cupped my nape, holding me in place as he stared intently into my eyes. “I can see the broken soul inside of you but I can also see this strong darkness that wants to come out and play. That, little one, will be the thing that will erase those nightmares. You may never forget them but you will learn to deal with them. And I will be the one to help you.”

My chest rose and fell, small bursts of air leaving my lips at being restrained by him. Again. “How?”

“BDSM is not all about sex.” Parker licked along my jaw, nipping lightly. “It’s a connection on a deeper level. But my favorite part is the trust. Last night when I bound and gagged you, you knew I wouldn’t hurt you. You knew that I wouldn’t leave you alone or take you in ways that only that monster did. I’m not that monster. I’m not Devin. Yes, I can be an asshole. I know it and I own that title.” His hold on me tightened igniting a small whimper to leave my lips. “But the only pain I give you is the pain that you crave. I will teach you anticipation. And you will hate me for it.”