The Beginning of Us (51 page)

I see her eyes getting glassy and I know the tears are about to spill. I’ve seen it enough times to know. I take the pitcher from her hands and place it on the counter. “Baby, you don't need anyone to fix you. You aren't broken. You’re grieving and scared of things changing again. I get that, but you are whole, beautiful, and strong. We’ll figure this out, Alexis. Give me the chance. That’s all I ask.”  She nods her head once, looking at me eye to eye, but still says nothing.

She reaches for the pitcher and heads back to the table where everyone is chatting away. Court and Kate seem to be very involved in talking about pregnancy stuff. Kate looks up when we walk into the room and winks at Lex.

The rest of dinner goes as smoothly as possible. I’m still concerned about whether Alexis is going to make me leave tonight with everyone else, instead of having some one on one time with her. I hope not, because I know it sounds crazy, but damn, I think I might be in love with this girl. Actually…I’ve always been in love with her. I never stopped. I just didn’t realize this is what it really was, until now. Not that I can tell her. Shit. She’s already scared to death. I don’t want to make it worse.

We say goodbye to our friends and family at the front door. I’m not really sure if Alexis is going to let me stay. She seems really frustrated. Alexis is wishing Courtney and Drew best of luck on the birth and safe travels back home, and saying goodbye to her family. Sierra walks over to me, as I am standing at the door next to Alexis.

“Garrett, can you pick me up?” Sierra asks in a small voice, very unlike the bouncing around and singing I heard earlier. I lift her into my arms. Her little head rests on my shoulder, as she inserts her thumb into her mouth and closes her eyes. They all immediately stop speaking and stand staring at Sierra and me. You would think I had just broken out into song, but I was just standing next to Alexis, holding Sierra like she asked me to.

Damn, it’s just a cute little girl, who asked to be held. I’d do anything she asked me to, for the record, but what the hell is everyone staring at? Alexis finally looks at everyone saying she needs to get the little one in bed. Everyone leaves willingly, with huge smiles.

Alexis reaches up to take Sierra to bed, but Sierra objects saying, “Mama, I want Garrett to carry me.” So I do. Alexis leads the way up to the room and I carry the little princess. I lay her gently in her bed and kiss her forehead.

“Goodnight, princess. I’ll see you soon. Okay?”

She smiles. “Garrett, Mama, and I are going to Disney soon. Will you come with us?”

She wants me to go to Disney with her. I’m not really sure how that would work out. “You know what, sweet girl, I love Disney. Let me see what I can do about that. I’ll certainly try.” She nods her head, seemingly satisfied with my response.

I tell Lex I’ll meet her downstairs, and she too nods her head. That damn head bobble she’s been doing all night is driving me insane. I’m not sure how to read that.

I head downstairs to wait for Alexis. The caterers have packed up everything and cleaned. I pay, and tip them well, then send them on their way. I walk into the family room and I hear a little voice talking as Alexis helps her into her pj’s. Then she’s saying a prayer. “And God bless Mama, and Uncle and Auntie, all my cousins, my daddy in heaven, and Garrett.”

“Yes, sweet girl. God bless them all,” Alexis responds. “Let’s sing your song together.” And they do, while I listen over the baby monitor I find on a shelf in the family room. I don’t know how much luckier I could be to have overheard that little conversation, and hearing Alexis sing to her little angel makes my heart feel very full. I haven’t felt this before, but I’m becoming more and more sure as the time goes on that this has got to be love. I hear Alexis say goodnight, then she walks down the stairs toward me.

I’m standing at the bottom of the stairs. I need to make whatever she is feeling better as soon as possible. I’ve never wanted anything more than I want that right now. I’m desperate to know what she’s thinking and what made her unhappy tonight.

She reaches the bottom of the stairs and walks into my arms. “Lex, I’m so sorry for whatever I did to upset you, sweetheart. Can we talk now…so I can fix it?”

She’s frowning, as I pick her up and walk her over to the couch, sitting down to cradle her in my arms. I need to be close to her, so that she can feel our connection. I’m scared that if we break that touch she could forget what this feels like and push me away.

”Garrett, you didn’t do anything. It was just an odd night - my family and your friends all under one roof. We meshed and everything is happening so quickly…too quickly. I feel like I haven’t really been able to take a breath. And now Sierra thinks you’ve hung the moon. She’s never asked anyone to hold her that way when she’s sleepy. She usually only wants me.” She sighs, pausing for a few moments before she continues, “Garrett, I’m really scared. You’re making me feel things and want things that I didn’t know were possible.”

Shit, I understand that. This girl is making me feel things…more and more. She’s making me want to be a person I’ve never imagined being, one worthy of a girl like this. A family man?

Alexis

Chapter 14

I’m frustrated. I didn’t expect for some of the people closest to us to gather under one roof and for it to feel…well, right. Everyone was chatting and having a great time like it was always supposed to be this way. I thought having Jason & Kate over would give me a little bit of security and guard my heart from falling too quickly. But it backfired. They like him a lot and are pushing me to pursue whatever this could be.

Then there’s Sierra… All night she would watch him carefully. She danced and sang with him. I almost lost it when she asked him to hold her when she got sleepy. I’ve never seen her do that with
anyone
. She’s clung to him very quickly, and I’m not sure why that is. I expected that they would be fast friends, that’s just her nature, but I never expected her to seek his attention and affection when she needed comfort. I’m not really sure what to do with that.

“Sweetheart, I get it. I didn’t expect to see you last week at the beach. I didn’t expect the feelings I had for you years ago to come roaring back to life, like they never died. I never expected you to have any interest in a guy like me. Lex, I’m confused, too, but damn, babe, do you think this kind of stuff happens to everyone? Hell no! We’re lucky and we need to take advantage of this opportunity. You two girls are very special ladies, and you’ve quickly come to mean an awful lot to me. For the record, I would absolutely try to hang the moon if that little girl asked me to do it,” he says to me with a wink and a crooked grin.

He’s holding me in his lap. I’m not really sure why he feels the need to carry me and hold me so much, but since I like it, I’m not going to complain. It’s been a hard day and the evening was best described as emotional. I’m exhausted. I lean back and lay my head on Garrett’s shoulder. He adjusts me so that I’m lying in his lap. He leans down, kisses my forehead lingering a few extra seconds, and then reaches down to slip off my shoes.

I sense his desperation to move on from our conversation about what’s happening with us. We’re not prepared for what’s going on, so leaving it for now seems a good choice. Garrett asks me about my day, wanting to know what happened at the parent/teacher conference. I tell him what the teachers said about Sierra being a great kid and her needing clearer boundaries, that and she can sometimes be a bit sassy to the teachers and other children. He laughs and says she’s probably being honest, and they don’t want to hear it!

We sit like this for a while relaxing and talking. He’s going back to Nashville in a few weeks for a charity benefit performance. I would love to see him perform live. I’ve seen the videos on YouTube, but never live.

I tell him, “I want to see you perform, Garrett.”

He looks at me with a little sparkle in his eye. I watch him as his eyes go glassy and lust filled. “Babe, I want to perform for you, but this performance is going to be a private one,” he says.

He lifts me off the couch and starts walking towards the stairs up to my bedroom. We reach my bedroom and he lays me on the bed, looking me in the eye. “You’re going to have to drive again, babe. Tell me what you want, Lex,” he says with a bit of desperation.

“Garrett, I want you and me,” I say because it’s true. He’s making me want things I didn’t think I would ever have. I can envision a family life to include this man. I never knew I could feel this close intimately and emotionally with anyone.

I sit up and he unzips my dress. I reach to lift his shirt over his head. He has an incredible body. I could touch and rub his upper body and arms all day and be content. He’s lying on the bed beside me. I feel a little shiver travel up my spine. He pushes the dress down my body and I lift my hips, so he can slide it all the way off. I’m wearing just my bra and panties, and he’s only wearing his jeans. He’s deliciously sexy. He kisses me with all the intensity that we’re both feeling. I could fall apart with just his kisses. His lips are made for kissing. His fingers glide up my body, reaching for the clasp of my bra to take it off. He pauses looking me in the eye for confirmation. I give a little nod and before my next breath it’s off, floating towards the floor.

He leans in and licks, then kisses my neck and chest, like he’s been craving this all day. His hand is caressing my stomach and heading south to the place I want it to be. I reach over and unbutton his jeans, reaching into them.

He stops caressing me, raising his gaze to mine. “Lex,” he gasps, “you don’t have to go there, baby. I like making you feel good. That wasn’t my goal in bringing you up here tonight.”

It makes me happy that he doesn’t have any expectations from me, but I do want this with him. I want to feel closer to him, because at this point, I can’t get close enough. “I want this, Garrett. Please.” He reaches down and helps me slide his jeans down his legs. He’s not wearing underwear. Damn, that’s hot.

“Commando?” I ask, looking with smirk.

“Yeah, babe, we didn’t need any more layers of material between us. I wanted to be as close to you and your cute little ass as possible if you ended up sitting in my lap, but damn, I didn’t expect this.”

He’s very well endowed and rock hard. I’m a bit intimidated by his size. It’s been a while for me. My hand is gliding up and down his length. “Babe, we can just touch,” sucking in a breath, between his clenched teeth, “it doesn’t have to go any further until you’re ready. You look scared.”

I look at his eyes and see the concern. “It’s just been a while, and you’re larger than I imagined.” He smirks at my comment, sits up, so that I’m tucked under him. He’s holding all his weight, so that he doesn’t crush me. He is completely naked and I’m wearing just my panties.

“Baby, I don’t want to hurt you. I want to cherish your body. Can you trust me?” he hesitantly asks.

“YES…please.” 

He reaches down, but his eyes don’t stray from mine. He draws my panties down my legs, all the way off, and touches me on the part of my body that has been desperate for his touch.

“You’re wet, babe. Have you been wanting me to touch this little thing?” he asks, as he rubs his finger back and forth between the lips and up to my clit. “

Umm…yes…please?!” I’m begging not only with my words, but my body is reacting vigorously to his touch. His cock is twitching between my legs, occasionally making contact with my center. It’s making the intensity even stronger. I feel like I’m about to explode into a million pieces when he starts sliding himself down the bed, kissing his way down my body.

“I know, sweetheart, I’m going to take care of it,” he says when his head is hovering between my legs. The moment his tongue touches me, I feel myself flying off the bed. He gently holds my hips in down and continues on his mission.

“OKAY, Garrett. Please, come back up here,” I plead, desperate to feel his cock inside me. I don’t care about the discomfort. I want him. “After, babe, let go. Let me see you come under my tongue.” And with those words, I do. I fall apart into a million pieces.

He lets the spasms subside, and then slides his way back up my body and places his cock at my opening. “Lex, look at me, sweetheart. Are you sure you want to do this?” he asks.

“Yes, Garrett. You promised me a performance, now give it to me, damn it.”

He laughs, reaching into the back pocket of his jeans and pulling a condom out of his wallet. “Eager to please, Babe!”

Before he unwraps the foil, I say “Garrett, I have the implant, if that’s what you’re worried about.” I’m trusting that if he feels the need to use the condom here he’ll do so. Garrett wouldn’t intentionally put me in harms way. He looks from me to the foil packet, and then tosses it over his head.

He slowly slides into my folds. I feel myself stretching as he glides in. He stops half way to give me a few seconds to adjust before he slides in a little more. He’s not nearly all the way in and I already feel very full. He’s watching me, making sure I’m okay. His eyes are full of passion, but there’s concern, also. He really doesn’t want to hurt me, or scare me. But I’m neither. I want more. I want to feel all of him.

I moan, “Please, Garret, I want all of you.”

His breath catches. “Alexis, you have all of me, sweetheart. You own me,” he gasps, as he slides his full length into me.

My body accepts him easily. We are connected in a way I never imagined. My emotions are overflowing with fear and passion. This connection is foreign. I want more, yet I worry that giving more of me and taking more of him will break me. My emotions are already so wrapped up in this man, as is evident by the sheer number of times he has brought me to tears in the last week.

We make love slowly. He whispers in my ear, “You’re so beautiful, Alexis. This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt, and I’m not just talking about making love to you, sweetheart.” I understand, because I feel it, too. “I’m getting close, sweetheart. I want to go together. Come for me, Alexis,” he commands, and with his words I feel the explosion building. He’s in and out, in and that’s it. I squeeze my thighs around his hips as I explode, gripping his arms tightly. Tears are welling in my eyes. Not sad tears, just an overflow of emotions that release with my amazing orgasm. He leans down and kisses every tear that trickles from my eyes off my face.