Authors: Z. Elizabeth
Incoming Call:
Craig
Craig
After my sobbing outburst on Matt, Rob took less than five minutes to show up at the flat. Once he bursts through the door, he took one look at me and nodded his head to Matt to follow him into the kitchen. The state of me must have been a cause for concern and I know he wants Matt to tell him everything. Well, everything Matt knows. Rob will grill me again when he comes back in so I don't bother following them into the kitchen. I just sit in self-pity, wanting another beer to drown the pain. I look up through hazy eyes when they both stride back into the living room. Rob places three tumblers on the table and opens the vodka that he's been carrying. I watch him pour it and once he hands it to me, I down it in one go, relishing in the harsh burn as it washes down my throat. I pour myself another and another until Rob takes the bottle away from me and puts it down the side of the sofa. I clutch my glass and glare at him for taking away my new best friend. The best friend any guy could need in this situation. He helps me get drunk and forget everything that has happened this evening. God, I need that bottle back.
I don't say a word. Nothing. Just sit there staring at the muted TV with silent tears rolling down my cheeks and a buzz that is making me feel a mix of emotions, but mostly depressed. Rob hasn't pushed me to tell him what happened in my own words, but I know he's waiting for me to spill my guts. He keeps checking his phone every five minutes, obviously waiting for updates from Kelsie about Nic. I want to know how she is, if she's still angry, if she's sobbing her heart out. But I can't ask because I don't want to know the answer to that. It will break me apart too much knowing I caused all of this. I wipe away the trail of wetness from my cheeks, beg for one more shot and a promise to Rob that I will tell him everything that happened. He relents, pours me another shot and it goes down my throat like water. I bask in the sting and shift myself so I’m facing the guys before I relay the shit that went down.
“...And I screwed up, Rob. Fuck, it's worse than a screw up, I destroyed the one person I have always loved, destroyed the one relationship I have been wanting for years, and over what? Finding out the truth after she told me not to? I thought I was doing the right thing you know, if I found out I could try to patch it up and our fathers would be friends again. But they both told me it wasn’t going to happen that way. DAMMIT!” I shout, thumping my fist against the arm of the sofa. “I blame our grandparents, if it wasn't for their stupid idea to get us married and if we weren't selfish enough to go along with it none of this would be happening.”
Rob pats my shoulder and gives me a wry smile. “But if they didn't do this then you would never be with Nic. You would be settling for someone else when your heart would be with Nic. You can't be angry at them for pushing you two together.”
“But you can be angry at them for putting you in this situation.” Matt chimes in and I look over at the both of them, my vision slightly blurred. I have no idea how many vodka shots I have tossed back but I do know that I need more to stop this aching feeling stabbing me in the chest. “They had to know nothing would fix the problem but they still did it anyway. You only went along with it because they put you in their will, they practically blackmailed you both to sort out your fathers shit for a crap load of money. Okay, so you were both greedy enough to agree to get marry, but this has to be illegal, doesn't it?!”
Rob elbows Matt in his ribs for his input and I shake my head. I didn't even think about the greedy part, only the selfish part in which I got to marry Nic and call her mine. The money didn't even come into this because my grandparents pushed me and Nic to be together, to profess our love to each other and the money went to the back of my mind. I don't even want the money, it's tainted to me now. Dammit, Nic can even have it, she has bigger plans than me. She wants to open her own business and if she will still have me, she can have it all, she can reach her dreams with it, I just want to be by her side.
“No, Rob, he's right. We are greedy, but the money didn't come into play for me. I knew that marrying Nic meant I got her. Got to try and show her that I love her, that this marriage would be going on longer than the twelve months. But it's all messed up now, I’ve messed it up and lost her.” I pull at my hair and growl to myself. I'm sat wallowing in self-pity, when I should be doing something, anything to get her back. Back home. To me.
“Dude, grow some fucking balls already.” Matt begins and Rob tells him to shut up, but he ignores him. “No, Rob, he has to listen to this now before he goes on some fucking suicide mission with the vodka bottle.” I hear Rob mutter about both of us telling him 'no' and then Matt continues.
“Let Nic have these two days to herself okay? And I'll come back over tomorrow and Friday and we can make a plan on how you are going to get your girl back. I know I’m a manwhore and all those other names you all call me. My parents aren't the love advocates of Swansea, damn, the whole world, but when I see you and Nic, I see a love so strong that sometimes, only sometimes I think I could have that one day. I look up to both of you, you both love your women so much that you would do whatever for them and I want to help you get her back.”
I look at Matt and wonder if he has grown two heads. He actually looks like he has two heads at the moment with the alcohol raging through my veins. No sexual jokes, no sarcastic comments. He is serious and that makes my chest ache for him. He isn't one to admit this sort of thing, he normally keeps it locked away and for him to do that in front of Rob and I, especially confessing to wanting what we have when he has always downright said he didn't want to get married, I just want to slap him back and hug him for it. Then search for his perfect girl so he can join us.
“I adore Nic, you know I do and I may play on it a bit too much but you know I would never do anything right? She's like a little sister to me and I know she has always been in your heart, so yes, we are going to win back your misses.. If you don't fuck her when she walks through the door, I will fucking do it for you.” And here is the old Matt we all know and love.
“Okay, okay, I can win her back, I have to. We can do this guys, I can get my girl back.” I say, feeling slightly more better due to Matt's positivity about us. I look to Rob who has a smile on his face and I know he will do whatever he can as well, even if it takes be dragged Kelsie over to this side and being in the middle of me and Nic. That's something I don't want but it's Rob and Kels, they will smack both our heads together until shit is sorted out. And I trust they can help us out.
“That's my boy. Now get the in shower, you smell of vodka and tears. Pretty sure your students don't want to smell you like that, or maybe they do, whatever gets them off.” Rob shrugs and I blink at him before shuffling back into the bathroom and showering for the second time in a few hours.
I can do this, I can win back my girl, Hopefully.
Chapter Twenty
Three
Nic
I stare at my phone, deliberating just what in the hell I am going to do. Answer or decline, decline or answer. Before I can decide what to do, it stops ringing. I let out the breath I was holding in but it begins to ring again. Without thinking I answer it and put the phone to my ear. A small part of me hoping it's Rob or Matt calling from Craig’s phone.
“Nic?” I hear Craig meekly say. I swallow because I knew it would be Craig and as much as I want to hear from him, I don't. I stay silent until he starts to talk again. “Please don't hang up on me, okay? I can't sleep because you aren't next to me. Everything keeps replaying in my head, I just can't get it out of my mind; the anger, the fear, how your eyes looked straight through me. It tore me apart to know I did this to you. But, baby, please let me explain it to you, even if it takes forever to get you back in my arms, I will do whatever I can to make sure that happens because it's you. It's always been you. And I can't lose you now, I won't allow it.”
We both sniff back tears and I clutch the blanket tighter and close my eyes, just listening to Craig's voice break down the phone.
“We were made for each other, Nicole Jones, and by some messed up reason we were never allowed near one another until we were pushed together by our grandparents. All those times we hung out with the gang, I just wanted what Rob and Kelsie had. I wanted
you
, in my arms. I wanted to put that smile on your face, I wanted to make you laugh, kiss you, just hold you and it was torture watching the others get to do it because we only interacted when we had to. Do you know what I thought when you walked into the solicitors office? How beautiful you looked, how I would never be able to tell you that because we were meant to hate each other. How gorgeous you look pissed off and how I wanted to kiss that look right from your face. And when you gave me your number and asked me to ring you to talk this deal over, I wanted so badly for you to agree to it and you did. Our wedding was the happiest day of my life because deep down I knew we wouldn’t be getting a divorce. I know I was a douchebag to you, but that night you cried yourself to sleep cut and sliced me open. I knew it must have been me so I cooled it down, showed you I wasn’t that cocky arse you had always known I was and the more time we spent together, the more I fell for you. And I’m in way over my head, Nic, I’m practically falling overboard and only you can save me.”
I swallow and gurgle at his confession, tears dropping off my chin. I am full-blown crying my eyes out and it doesn't seem to stop. I don't know what to do. I love him with my everything and I know he loves me too, I just can't believe I threw that in his face. I feel like such an utter bitch because despite the fact he has hurt me, he actually didn't do it intentionally. Each word is laced with pain, how he's hurting as much as I am. But I need a few days to cool down and sort my head out. We have been in each others pockets for months and some time apart will do us good. We hardly ever fight and this one, albeit by me, has been blown out of proportion. It's time to fix us and fix our families. You heard that right, it's time to sort this shit storm out. I hiccup and take a shuddering breath.
“I'm so sorry, Craig, I am so sorry for saying you were lying about loving me. I never meant to say that, I was just so angry and hurt and in pain that you went behind my back. But I think a few days apart will do us good. We have been together 24/7 for nine months and a little time apart to cool down and clear our heads will do us good. I'll come over to talk Saturday afternoon, okay? We can talk about everything then.”
I hear a whoosh of air down the phone and I know Craig has been holding his breath throughout my speech. I hear him clear his throat and sniff.
“It's okay, Nic, I understand why you said that and I don't blame you, so forget all about it. We will figure this out and it will be back to just you and me, Craig and Nicole Thomas, just how it has been for the past nine months. We can sort this out, it's a little blip in a big ocean and it's us, Nic. We have wanted each other for six years, this isn’t going to affect us, I wont let it. But sure, we'll talk more on Saturday and hopefully you will be back in my arms that night too.”
“We will see, Craig. I'll see you soon.” I whisper, closing my eyes and basking in hearing his breathing down the phone.
“I'll see you soon, Nic. I love you.” He whispers and my heart clenches at those three little words that mean everything to me.
“I love you, too” And with that, I end the call. I run a finger down the picture of Craig and I that I have as my background image and weakly smile before shutting my phone down.
In the words of Sara Bareilles, she wants to see me be brave and it's time to put that in action, starting with my parents. But first, it's time to wander down to the beach. I need my sunrise and my sanctuary.
***
Kelsie squeezes my hand as we walk up the path to my parents. These past two 'sick' days have been a great relief and I've spent my days down on the beach, just thinking things through. Thinking about my parents, the feud and Craig. My head was still a jumbled mess but the fresh sea air, the crashing waves and watching kids and toddlers giggle and act carefree really put my life into perspective. It's time to sort this family matter out. Once and for all. No one apart from Matt, Rob and Kelsie knows what is going on and it's going to stay that way. As much as I love the other guys, they don't need to be dragged into this and start taking sides. It's easier not to involve them because it will be sorted soon enough, hopefully by tonight, if not, tomorrow. My mind is spinning in circles and I've thought about every scenario that is about to go down inside my childhood house and none of them end up good. They end up with screams and shouting and Kelsie dragging me from the house and taking me to John's house.
“You okay, sweetie?”
I fake a smile and nod, more to myself than anything. This is going to change everything and I agree, it's the right time to get this all out in the open. Those two days have been a heavy reminder that perhaps Craig had the right idea to find out about the past, and I was definitely way too hard on him. He loved me enough to go behind my back and figure out this feud and enough to not tell me because I didn't want to know. He kept the truth away from me and if he was going to rub it in my face, he would have done it by now and then let us carry on in an awkward relationship. But he didn't and the more time I had to think about it, the more I know it really is time to get my head out of my arse and find out too.