Authors: Z. Elizabeth
“Let's go then, Nic. Lets sort this out once and for all.” The nerves swallow me up but with Kelsie next to me, I know nothing bad can happen. She leads me through the front door and I close it behind me, letting out the breath I've been holding in. We walk into the living room to see my parents sat watching TV. They both have puzzled expressions displayed when they see us standing by the door. I bite my lip, swaying from side to side and avoid their gazes.
“Hey, Mrs. J, Mr. J. How you both doing?” Kelsie breaks the awkward silence and I silently thank her. She leaves me to go and hug my parents who are both embracing her as she jumps from one to the other before sitting beside my mother. I take the armchair and perch myself in it, twiddling my fingers together and bobbing my knees up and down. The nerves have spread all around and I cannot do this any more, I can't confront them, I've left it too long.
“You okay, Nic? You look a little out of it?” My father asks. He looks concerned at my state and I plaster on a smile and nod but then I change it and shake my head. I look to Kelsie to guide me on what to do, and she gives me a look to tell me to get it over with so we can get the hell out. The more I delay, the less likely I will be to ask them. I swallow, clear my throat and lean on my knees, looking between my mother and father. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and blurt it out.
“No, I'm not okay. Your stupid feud has been the bane of mine and Craig's life and now it's messed us up.” I can see a hint of a smile on my mothers face and I scowl at her. “I love Craig, mum, and I know you hate it, hate everything about him and his family but you can't make me hate him, no matter how hard you try. I've loved him since I was sixteen and that is something you will never take away from me, so get used to it.”
She looks like I've punched her in the face and when I look to my father, he doesn't even look surprised at my confession. Huh, I thought it would devastate him too, that his little girl had fallen for the enemy, but it doesn't faze him. I give him a look and he smiles whilst he shakes his head, so I go back to my waffling.
“That's right, I’ve loved him for six long years and you know what, for us to get past this little blip in our relationship, I need the two of you to stop hiding this feud from me. I need to know what happened between you and John, Dad. You have to tell me. It happened before we were born and it's gotten out of hand now. If you don't, I will go to John. He told Craig and I know he will tell me too.”
My mother shoots dagger looks at my father, who leans back and sighs. He runs a hand down his face and looks to Kelsie then me. He point blank ignores the murderous looks my mother is giving him and mimics my stance.
“Why is this so important, Nic? I know when you were younger you used to harper on to us about it but then you just left it. Why?” He asks, and I feel like I have to re-tell him my feelings again. Did he not bloody listen to me?
“It's important because our grandparents obviously thought it was, why do you think they made Craig and I get married? It had to be so we could fix this, get you and John back on speaking terms. The only reason I stopped asking was because you both told me to, and I listened.” I shrug, “I love him with everything, Dad, you can't say you haven't seen a change in me? Damn, I've wanted him since I was in school and now I have him, I won't and can't let him go. So that is why it's important, because regardless of if you tell me or not, I will go to John, he will tell me and I will go home to Craig knowing the truth.”
“Don't you dare tell her, Peter, I mean it. It's nothing to do with anyone but John, you and me.” My mother chimes in and I roll my head to look at her and raise an eyebrow.
“So you are involved? I bloody knew it had something to do with you.”
Kelsie looks so out of place, stuck in the middle and she is slowly cowering into the sofa, trying to hide herself from the fall out that is about to be unleashed. I glare at my mother, who glares back and points a finger at me.
“How dare you talk to me like that! You need to learn respect, missy.”
“That is all you can say? Seriously? Thanks for confirming that the break up was to do with you, it puts my mind at ease.” I reply, looking to my dad and begging him with my eyes to tell me the truth. “I'm twenty-two, Dad. This happened over thirty years ago. Don't you think this petty teenage fallout should end now. Craig and I, we aren't getting a divorce in three months, we're staying married and investing the money, so I can leave knowing, or I can leave and not have anything more to do with you. It's your choice.”
I nod my head at Kelsie when I stand and she looks like she wants to bolt and never return and I don't blame her. She follows suit, heading towards the front door and we slide out. With it firmly closed behind, I let the air wash over me and lean on Kelsie, looping my arm through hers. We make it down the path and turn towards the car before we hear my dad rushing out of the house, my mother screaming after him. He grabs the both of us, racing us to his car, my mother hot on his heels. He unlocks it, shouts at us to get in and once we are firmly inside he locks the doors.
“What the hell, dad?” My mother now having reached us, face like thunder, is banging on the window, threatening my dad, and telling him to open the door. I watch her, thinking that this is not the mother I grew up with. She would never cause a scene in the street, oh no. The gossiping neighbours talking about her behind her back? That is suicide. But she's going slightly crazy and I can see the sparks lighting in her eyes.
“If you tell her, it's over. Don't come back, Peter. I mean it.” I can just about hear her through the window. I look to Kelsie, who is startled at my mother's reaction. She has never encountered this side of her and I can see she doesn't like it. My father starts the car, and we leave my mother in the dust. We are thrown back into the seat by the speed and we rush to put our seatbelts on, not knowing what the hell has happened to my dad. He is normally so quiet around my mother and to disobey her, oh holy crap, it's a big step in their relationship. My father looks in the mirror at us and grins. I give him a look and he chuckles, his eyes returning to the road.
“Just bare with me, Nic, I'll explain everything about the feud to you. I just needed to get away from the dragon. She would have held me hostage, hence hijacking the car and taking you with me.”
If I could, I would have laughed at the 'dragon' comment, but so much is happening that I just let it wash over me. I sit back, look over to Kelsie before focusing on the scenery outside. We pass houses which all blur into one and I can't help but think that this may be the first break in my parents relationship. How I’ve destroyed it but then I think that I should have been told years ago, told what happened and I should have never been kept in the dark and told to stay clear of Craig. We were kids with no clue what was going on, but we aren’t those little kids who just accepted it any more, we are adults, adults who are in over their heads and who want a life together. With this secret hanging over our heads, we can't move forward and it needs to end right now.
A few more minutes pass in silence and when we finally slow to a stop I look out of Kelsie's window to see we are outside my flat. I know my dad has no idea I haven’t spent the last three days here and I bite my lip in anticipation of what or who is waiting on the other side of the door. I haven’t spoken to Craig in two days. He has given me space to think and breathe and I love him for that, but I don’t want my first reunion to be in front of my dad. Before he can open the door, I tell him to close it. He looks back with an enquiring look and I glance to Kelsie who takes my hand in hers and nods, letting me know he should know what has happened.
“Yeah, the thing is I haven't been staying in the flat for the past three days. I found out Craig knew the secret, we had a massive bust-up, things were said that I regret and I left. I've been sleeping at Kelsie's.” I scrunch my face up while I wait for his react but he just sighs and leans towards me to pat my hand.
“I'm so sorry, Nic. It might mess things up even more but Craig came to me to talk about it, too, and that he wants to sort this all out. It was when you had only been together a few months but, baby girl, whatever is said upstairs now, just remember that Craig loves you, I love you so don't kick off on Craig, he was only doing what he thought was best for both of you. If anything, kick off on John, your mum and me and you know, your grandparents too,. It's us that messed up your life, told you to stay away from each other when we shouldn’t have. It's clear as day you love each other and I will never put you in any position where you can't come to me with anything ever again. Anything you want to know, I will tell you. Sod your mum, it's down to her anyway. Now, let's get upstairs and sort this shit out once and for all.”
And with that my dad opens the door and waits for Kelsie and myself to follow suit. I'm stunned. He definitely confirmed that my mum broke up the friendship. To actually hear it from both my parents hurts. I can't believe how selfish she must have been and for her to be the one to ban me from being friends with Craig, to never go near him, it's spiteful. She should have never told a small kid that. I'm thinking the only reason she doesn’t want me to know is because I will think differently of her, but I already do, I have for years when she's snapped at me for asking, telling me to butt out and to stop asking. But there’s not a single thing she can do now, the truth is going to come out and it's going to taint her, it's going to make her look bad. Despite the fact I have been feared into never knowing, I want to. Want to know just what horrible thing she did to break up best friends.
I pull myself from the car and look up to the flat. I can briefly see an outline of Craig standing by the window and my heart speeds up. This was not how the first 'reunion' was meant to be like, but I'm going to have to suck it up and get it over with. Craig and I can sort our differences out when everyone has left. God knows it's been painful not seeing him or speaking to him these past two days. It's killed me but we both needed space and it's done me the world of good. I feel guilty for everything I said to him, I feel bad for the way I just left and my heart aches at hearing him sob through the door. I can never take that back but I know that my love for Craig is embedded down into my heart and I know there is no one else for me but him. He would die for me and I would die for him. And now I feel a bit Romeo and Juliet...
“Are you coming or what, Nic?” Kelsie shouts and I realise I am just standing on the pavement, staring at my window. The silhouette of Craig is no longer outlining the curtains and all I want to do is jump into his arms and apologise. I race past my dad and Kels, who both laugh and I take two steps at a time. I take a deep breath and burst through the front door. Craig is sat on the sofa looking glum but shock appears when he sees me running towards him. He stands up only to fall back down when I jump and he catches me in his arms. I wrap my arms around his neck, my legs straddling him and I kiss him hard. I kiss him with everything I have. I let him know I love him, how sorry I am and that I never, ever want to let him go. I only stop when I hear coughs behind me and I know Kelsie and my dad have arrived in the flat. I pull myself away from Craig, who gives me a small smile and I sit beside him, grabbing his hand and entwining our fingers. I need to be next to him, need to be touching him, anything to let him know I am not leaving again.
I want more than anything to talk to Craig alone, but the quicker this secret is out, the quicker I can kick everyone out and have that alone time. Kelsie comes to sit next to me, nodding her head at Craig and my dad takes the armchair. He leans on his knees, much like he did twenty minutes ago and flicks his eyes between the three of us. Craig already knows and now it's my time. The nerves return to my stomach when my dad's eyes land solely on me. Kelsie takes my other hand and I feel Craig and her squeeze out of sync, letting me know they are both here for me, whatever the outcome.
“You ready to know everything, Nic?” My dad asks softly.
Am I ready? No. But do I finally want to know? Yes. So I nod and settle back against the sofa and twist my body to mould into Craig's side so if it gets too much I can try to hide away from the truth. He lets go of my hand and wraps his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer. I grab the side of his shirt in my hand, my other still tightly grasping Kelsie's in return.
“Right, okay. Butt in if you have been told differently, Craig, but this is my version of what happened.” Craig nods his agreement before my father begins to spill his secret. The one he has been keeping for almost 30 years of his life.
“It all started with your mother...”
Chapter Twenty
Four
Nic
“It all started with your mother. Well it started the day John and I met her. We had been best friends since we were born. We lived opposite one another and we were inseparable, just like both your grandparents were. We did everything together growing up, no one could ever push us apart or break us up, we were like brothers. We may not have been blood, but we were family. From the day we were born, to the day of the falling out, nothing could keep us apart. Well, apart from our parents when either one of us was grounded but even then, we still sneaked out of our houses and would spend hours in the park, or just lying on the beach, talking about girls and cars. The typical guy stuff.