The Loss (Heartache series #1) (21 page)

Epilogue

Jolie

It’s the day of the big wedding. I’m so excited for Jase and Alena. Jase became such a great friend in college, helping me move here, get roots and give me a job with something I love to do. I got to know Alena more after all the shit they went through to be together. Times were really rough and then all the damage to Battle Ground. However, things had a way of working out and today they’re finally getting married. Jase said there will be a surprise announcement at the reception. I have a feeling I know what it is but I’ll act surprised.

I’ve had a pretty tough life, still trying to pay off student loans, no social life except for the occasional beer at Danny’s, and no family, except Jase and Alena. Oh! And Hailey. Now, she’s a fun lovin’ girl. A little too hyper for me but still really sweet and nice. They’re really the only family I have although Jase and Alena’s parents have kind of taken me under their wings, like a stepchild or some shit.

Most people give me strange looks, when they first see me. My piercings and tattoos sort of turn most people off, but I don’t care. It’s who I am. They define me. Well, there’s one person who it doesn’t seem to matter to. Tanner. He’s a strange guy, secretive, mysterious, and doesn’t say much. He did save Jase’s life, so he’s okay in my book, but I’m still leery of him. Face it, I’m pretty leery of all guys. Why? Because everyone I’ve even remotely gotten close to treats me like shit. Of course, I haven’t been close to that many due to being raped when I was in foster care at the age of twelve. Yeah, same sad story, different day. I’m over it. Kind of. Okay. I may never be truly over it but at least Jase showed me there are some good guys out there. Unfortunately, I’ve not met one of them yet, besides Jase.

I’m standing here looking through my closet, trying to find a dress that doesn’t scream ‘slut’ to wear to their wedding. I have unique tastes and so far I can’t find one that’s wedding appropriate. Sigh. I give up and walk out of my room, go through the small living area and into the kitchen. This calls for a shot of Fireball. I open the cabinet, standing on my tiptoes to get a shot glass, and almost drop it. I really need to move those to a lower shelf. That’s what I get for being short. I pour me a shot and bring it up to my lips, ready to taste and feel the burn, when something hits the wall in front of me. Damn, next door neighbor. I have no idea who they are. Never seen them but man, do I freaking hear them. All. The. Time. Half the time I don’t think they’re at home, maybe on business or something. They only moved in a couple of months ago.

Determined to down this shot and find something decent to wear, I bring it up to my lips again and chug it. The burn flows through my mouth, down my throat and burns into my chest. That’ll put hair on ya. Another hard slam against the wall and I quickly beat back with my fist.

“Stop beating up my wall!” I shout. Nothing. Silence. Ugh!

I finally pick out a white skirt and blue blouse. The only frilly thing I own. I don’t do frilly. Stepping into my black high heels, almost falling as I try to pull the strap around my heels, and grab my keys. I walk out into the entry hall, locking my door behind me and stop. Damn, not the best thing to wear on a motorcycle. I guess I can walk, it’s only about two blocks. Shit! My head snaps around when I hear my unidentified neighbor’s door open. My mouth drops. Tanner. What the hell?

“You’re gonna catch a fly,” he says, grinning like a stupid oaf.

I close my mouth, crossing my arms self-consciously over my chest and huff as I walk to the front door of the building. He was standing there all kinds of sexy in black slacks and a black button down shirt. I almost lost my cool, for a minute, until I remembered the beating on my wall. I stop again when he runs past me, opens the door, but I don’t look at him as I walk past and out onto the small porch. I start to walk down the steps when he speaks again, halting my movements. “So, it’s gonna be kind of tough riding that in a skirt and those heels, huh?” I look up at him and see he’s looking at my bike, and I huff again, leaving him standing there. I walk down the steps, down the small walk and onto the sidewalk, passing my bike parked in the street and start to head to the gym.

Loud running footsteps sound behind me and soon he’s walking next to me. “I could drive you, ya know? Wouldn’t be a big deal or mean anything. Just a ride so you don’t have to walk in heels for two blocks. It’s called being nice.”

I turn and look at the nice clean SUV that appears to be new and then down at my feet. I look up at him and turn around, heading towards his car. He runs passed me, again, and opens the passenger door then stands there until I get in. I see him smiling as he runs around the front and gets in the driver’s seat. He starts to drive, turning the car around, and heads to the gym. I sit there just watching everything pass by through the window, but I really don’t notice anything. Finally, not being a patient person, I open my mouth. “It would be nice if you didn’t beat on the wall. Just what in the hell are you doing over there?”

He laughs.
Laughs. Really?
“I work out on my punching bag sometimes. I guess it’s been hitting the wall, huh? Sorry about that.”

“You have a punching bag in your kitchen?” The disbelief has to be written all over my face. Who in the hell would have one in their kitchen?

He laughs again, looking at me and back at the road, simultaneously. “No! I don’t have one in my kitchen. Who in the hell would have one there?”
Good question.
“It’s in my living room. Guess I have it a little too close to the wall.”

Ah! Okay, our apartments must be arranged differently. “Ya think?” I give him a smirk and he laughs again. Okay, this is getting pretty old, fast. He better quit laughing at me.

“Hey, sorry. I’m really not laughing at you.”
What? Is he a fucking mind reader too?
“I’m laughing at me. I hadn’t realized what an idiot I am, putting that too close to the wall and disturbing my neighbor. I also had no idea you were my neighbor. Small world, huh?”
And getting smaller by the minute.

These are the most words I’ve ever heard leave his mouth. He actually has a low, rough, and sexy voice. No! I did not just think that! I shift my eyes over at him while he watches the road. He’s got a nice build, the tatts I’ve seen on his arms are pretty cool. Short dark black hair which looks like it’s got a little natural curl in it. A piercing above his chin and scruff, a little longer there. He does have a nice smile, now that I’ve seen it. Okay. Stop! I must be outta my frickin’ mind. I quickly turn my head away from him, looking out the window. We need to hurry up and get there. I need to get a drink. Stat!

The parking lot behind the gym is packed and even along the street. Danny’s parking lot is full too so he ends up having to park a half a block away on the street. I open my door and am almost out when I feel his hand on my arm and I look up quickly. He just smiles and helps me down then shuts the door. I hear his locks beep when he raises his hand, holding his key fob, and we start walking. “Need me to help you?”

I look over at him and frown. “I think I can walk.”

“I just meant with those heels and…. Shit. I can’t seem to say anything right to you, can I?” I stare at him and watch his mouth move up into a grin. I look down, trying to hide my smile. “It’s not like I’ve never talked to a girl…. Woman, before. I don’t know what it is about you that makes me stumble.”

I look up and right into his dark eyes. “I am a girl. And, a woman.”

He looks down at his feet as we continue to walk. “Yeah, I’ve noticed.” His eyes move over, looking at me and I swear, deep within me. I shake my head and laugh.

“I bet you say that to all the girls….Women.” I start walking a little faster, not liking how this conversation is going or where it’s headed.

“Hey, wait up!”

I slow down a bit, feeling a little bad. Only a little. He catches up, and we keep walking in uncomfortable silence. He opens the front door to Battle Ground, and I walk in. I stop quickly, seeing how packed it is, and he bumps into me. Slivers of tingle sensations make their way up my back and down my arms. What the hell? I take a step forward and bump into someone, being there’s very little room. My foot tilts, and I start to fall until strong arms grab my upper arms, steadying me. I turn my head and find his eyes staring at me. “Thank you,” I whisper. He just shrugs, like he helps people every day from making a fool out of themselves. Then I think of Jase, how he could have died, if not for Tanner. “No. I mean it, really. Thanks.” I give him a small smile, and he returns it with his big grin. Why do I feel like he’s keeping score, and he just gained a point?

A loud screech comes over the intercom, and I roll my eyes when I see Hailey at the front counter holding onto the paging microphone. “Welcome, everyone! If everyone could please find a seat and if there’s not enough please stand behind and around the side of the chairs, keeping a path cleared for the bride and groom. Thank you.” I swear she almost curtsied. Nah.

As the crowd moves, I start walking forward and then follow them around to the right. Tanner grabs my hand and I huff, my mouth drops open, as he leads me over to an empty chair. I plop down in the chair and lean towards him. He comes closer and I whisper, okay, I kind of growled. “I’m not a cripple, ya know? I could have stood there with the others.”

His hands move up in front of him in surrender and there’s that cocky grin. “Hey, just thought with those heels, you might want to sit down. My fault.”

I look behind me, hoping no one is watching us, and spot an older woman. I’m outta my seat, pushing him out of the way, and walk fast right over to her. “Hello. There’s an empty chair there, if you’d care to sit.”

“Well, that is so nice of you, young lady. Thank you.” I nod, smiling like I got the point this time and watch her walk over and sit down. I take her place behind the last row of chairs and see Tanner moving next to me. He moves closer. And closer. Until we’re touching. Those weird tingles flow through my arm, down to my fingers, and all the way up to my shoulder. I turn my head and stare.

“Nice move,” he grins and I wanna smack him.

Music is piped through the PA system, and I turn my head. Alena looks absolutely beautiful in an off white long dress, carrying a bouquet of white roses with baby’s breath. She smiles at me as she walks passed and I turn back to see Jase at the front. You can tell how proud he is, how much in love he is with her. “Are you okay?” Tanner bumps my arm, and my head snaps to him. “You’re crying.” I wipe away a tear, roughly, and smirk.

“Am not.” Damn him.

♥    ♥    ♥    ♥

Tanner

I stand there watching the wedding and think about when I first saw Jolie. Of course like now, she wouldn’t have anything to do with me. What she doesn’t realize is I know why. In my profession, not the one at the gym that’s more of a hobby, I see things and have to do things that sometimes I don’t want to do or am so pissed off by, I want to kill someone. That’s why I have the punching bag in my living room and why I became a personal trainer here at Battle Ground when I had to move to this town. I have to take my frustrations out somehow.

Alena gets up to the front, Jase taking her hand and they turn to the minister. I’ve seen so many weddings in my young life, but this one I’m really grateful to be standing here witnessing. After I saved Jase’s life, I had to leave town for work, so we hadn’t had a chance to talk. It does my soul good to see another life saved and a happily ever after. I just wish I could have been in town when everything happened to them at that cabin. Maybe their baby would still be alive and in her mommy’s tummy. Hazards of work. I can’t be everywhere at the same time but I do what I can, when I can. They turn to each other and I can see Alena’s flowers shaking in her hand. What little I know about her, she really seems like a genuinely nice person. So does Jase. I’m happy for them. Alena clears her throat and the rooms attention falls on her.

Jase. You’ve always been my best friend even though you cheated at stick ball and made me slide into bases too many times.

Everyone laughs including Jase. I look over at Jolie, from the corner of my eye and see her beautiful smile.

Even then you were my best friend, my confidant, my life. We’ve been through so much together in our young lives. So much loss, so much pain, but we’ve also had so many happy times growing up that they outweigh the bad. I almost lost you, twice, and both of those times my life stopped and all I could think about is how I couldn’t live without you. I couldn’t exist. For you are my life, my support, my love. Will you join me today and make my life whole?

Sounds of crying is all around me but then I hear sniffing that’s very close. I look over at Jolie and watch the tears streaming from her eyes, down her sweet face. How could anyone ever hurt her? She may seem rough on the outside but look at the inside. I pull out a tissue from my pocket and hand it to her. She takes it without a word, wiping the wetness from her face.

I do. Alena, my love, my kitten. I don’t know how to express my love for you because without you I would cease to exist. You are the air I breathe, the desire I crave and only you can sustain me. Even though you cheated at stick ball, so many times, I still and will always love you.

Laughter again and even I can’t stop myself from chuckling.

But, how could I not when you’re my other half? Without you I’m lost, confused and not alive. When I saw you laying there, paled and still, my heart quit beating. I went crazy when I couldn’t revive you and at that moment, I thought I’d lost you forever. You came back to me and I thanked God. I’ve lost two loves in my life and I couldn’t bear to lose another. You’re my greatest gift and I’ll cherish you always.

More crying and I feel my eyes getting a little wet too. Damn! I want that. I’ve never had anyone to care about me, love me, especially not like that. That’s something that’s always been missing in my life, something I’ve always wanted since I was little. There was a little girl, once….

The End