The No-cry Sleep Solution (50 page)

Review and Choose Sleep Solutions

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Mother-Speak

“Last night when I heard Lauren making sounds I just waited and listened, instead of running in to her. I am amazed. Twice, by the time I was down the hall to peak in at her, she’d gone back to sleep.”

Christine, mother of thirteen-month-old Lauren

The first step to helping your baby sleep longer is to determine the difference between sleeping noises and awake noises. I’m not suggesting that you ignore a baby’s true cries by any means; she may need you, and this is the only way she can communicate this. In fact, when you wait too long and she wakes up fully—

crying and yelling—she will find it much harder to fall back to sleep. Rather, keep her door and yours open, or use a baby monitor. When she makes a noise, stop. Listen. Wait. As you listen attentively to her noises, you will learn the difference between sleeping snorts and “I’m waking up and I need you now” noises.

The following sample pattern shows the duration and type of nighttime help being shortened. This is by no means an exact plan, your own method may be quite different, but this will give you an understanding of the concept:

Phase One: Comfort Until Baby’s Almost Asleep

Once you determine your baby is really awake, go and get her.

Sit in the rocking chair and rock, nurse, or bottle-feed Baby but only until her eyes close, her sucking rate slows, and she’s falling asleep. Try not to wait until she is totally asleep. Stand up with her in your arms and rock or sway gently. When you lay her down, keep your arms around her for a few minutes, making gentle rocking motions. (Yes, this can be tough on your back, but it’s only temporary.) She will accept the change from your lap to

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her bed if you don’t abruptly “dump” her there. Keep in mind that, when she sleeps on you, you are moving and breathing, while the bed is still and silent. So gentle movement in the transition helps. Once she seems settled, gently slip your arms out from under her. If she stirs, put your hand on her; whisper your key words or turn on the soothing music; and rock, pat, or touch her gently until she’s asleep. If she wakes and cries, pick her up, and repeat this process. You may have to do this two, three, four, maybe five times, but that’s OK—
really
. If you or your baby get upset at any point, just go ahead and put her to sleep in your usual way and ditch the plan for the moment. Eventually she will get more comfortable with your new routine and she will go to sleep. She will still be depending on you to help her go back to sleep, but because she is finishing the falling-asleep process in her crib, she will be one step closer to being able to put herself to sleep when she wakes in the night.