The Whole Lesbian Sex Book (27 page)

Some women love the texture of pubic hair and the after-sex ritual of picking hairs from between their teeth. One woman wrote, “All of my best have been redheads. That’s called ‘going down in flames.’ ”

Others find those errant hairs a distraction. Hold her pubic hair aside with your hands—you can grip her hair between thumb and forefinger, hold her lips open, and even pleasure her with little tugs. You can give your partner a trim, shaving the outer labia and mons and trimming the outer pubic area in preparation for sex. Think of her coif as very creative foreplay. (See “Genital Shaving” in chapter 10, Clitoral Play.)

Blood

I absolutely loved the way her cunt tasted, with just a hint of iron.

The popularity of lesbian vampire erotica attests to the hold of blood on our imaginations. Are you a vampire? Some women love to taste a partner’s menstrual blood during oral sex. In fact, some lesbians like to play vampire so much they seek out menstruating partners.

Others find blood contact unappealing—and even terrifying, given the fact that HIV, hepatitis, and other STDs can be transmitted through direct blood contact.

Some women have found safe ways to play with blood. The tangy, iron smell of your partner’s blood can be an adequate substitute for taste—you can enjoy the aroma before covering her up with Saran wrap. You can don a glove and anoint her thighs and breasts with her own blood. She may even enjoy licking your gloved hand clean. Of course, if you’re fluid-bonded (having unprotected sex only with each other), you and your partner can make an informed decision regarding oral sex during menstruation. (See chapter 18, Safer Sex and Gynecological Health, for more information.)

How-To’s of Cunnilingus

• Be a tease. Start with indirect stimulation to warm her up.

• Lick and nibble her inner thighs, belly, and outer labia.

• Rub your entire face over her vulva.

• Nibble her inner labia; take each one into your mouth and suck.

• Put a drop of water-based lube on the genital side of a dental dam. As you tongue her clitoris, let the latex slide with your strokes. (Mark one side of the dental dam with a pen, so that when things get slippery, you know which side is which.)

• Circle her clit with the tip of your tongue. Experiment with different pressures and speeds.

• Stretch a piece of plastic wrap between her legs and around her waist like a loincloth—and then take a long lick from clit to butt.

• Penetrate her vagina with your tongue. Lick the area right below her urethra and just inside her vagina.

• Hum. Sound produces vibration. Your partner will feel as well as hear you groan as you pleasure her.

• Blow warm air over her vulva. (If she is pregnant, to avoid causing an air embolism
do not
blow directly into the vagina.)

• Flick your tongue rapidly over the glans, hood, and shaft of her clit.

• Flatten your tongue and rub it over her glans and shaft.

• Some women love the excruciating sensation of sharp nibbles on their tender parts. Some don’t, so ask.

• Grab a glove—or two—and combine cunnilingus with penetration (vaginal or anal, or both). You can match the rhythms of your tongue with the thrusts of your fingers. One woman wrote, “I love fingers inside of me while a tongue is licking me. When she uses the vibrator on me, too—whoa! Explosion!”

• If your partner likes G-spot stimulation (and you love the way she gushes when she comes), insert a finger or two and stroke her G-spot with that “come hither” gesture.

• You don’t have to get her off by the clock. Back off, tease, go forward, tease some more. Stop and ask what feels best. Intensify your play as she gets more aroused.

Analingus

That musty scent along with her womanly scent is heaven.

You may never have thought that putting your mouth on your partner’s anus would fill you with desire—or that having your partner’s lips and tongue on yours would drive you wild. The idea of putting your mouth on someone’s anus may conjure responses ranging from memories of schoolyard insult (“Lick my ass!”) to deep cultural taboo. But the delicacy and rich nerve endings of the anus combined with the soft, wet heat of tongue and lips provide for an extremely erotic array of sensations.

As with many turn-ons, there’s no logic to what we love. One woman’s ticket to ecstasy may be another’s repulsion (“Rimming? Yuck! Why would anyone do that?”). Why would you want to tongue your partner’s ass? Because she’s so sensitive there, because rimming makes her squirm, and because the earthy taste and smell make you feel so primal—or simply because it’s such a big taboo.

I’m not exactly sure why I love rimming a woman, but I do. I’m getting a bit wet just thinking about it.

What does having a tongue in your anus do for you? Well, the soft, subtle sensations can’t be compared to anything else. Perhaps because the anus receives so little sexual attention, it’s especially sensitive. The delicate, puckered mouth of your anus is ripe for play.

When my lovers rim me, they have me in the palm of their hand. I simply turn into flesh and bone offered up for their use.

It’s not uncommon to feel ambivalent about having a lover’s tongue in your asshole. You may worry that you smell or taste bad, or that your lover will find feces there. While your concerns may be inhibiting, they may also be exciting—one woman wrote that rimming makes her feel like a “bad girl doing the forbidden,” which is one reason she loves it.

I was so self-conscious that it wasn’t entirely enjoyable. It felt good, though. If I could overcome my initial discomfort, I’m sure I’d love it.

If you’re concerned about cleanliness, you can shower, use dental dams or other barriers, or have an enema before sex. There are usually small traces of fecal matter in the anus and rectum, and you can transmit hepatitis A, bacteria, or parasites through unprotected anal-oral contact. Licking her clitoris after rimming can lead to vaginal infections because bacteria from the anus may be carried by your tongue into her vagina.

Some women enjoy shaving the area around the anus—shaving makes for a smoother, cleaner-feeling surface and as preparation for sex it can be a turn-on.

How-To’s of Analingus

• Gently nibble the inner thighs and buttocks.

• Tickle the hairs around the anus with the tip of your tongue.

• Grab a glove and some water-based lube, to combine rimming with vaginal penetration or clitoral stimulation.

• Lightly circle her anus with your tongue.

• Flick your tongue rapidly against her opening.

• Lay your soft tongue flat against her anus and rub against the opening.

• Lick up and down her butt crack.

• Press your tongue into her opening.

Illustration 7. Analingus

Positions for Oral Sex

What are the best positions for oral sex? The ones that work for you, of course. You can lie between your partner’s legs, especially if you like to maintain eye contact. This position has the added advantage of drawing on your upper-body strength: Prop yourself up on your elbows as you cup her asscheeks in your hands, and then rock your upper body as you lick her clitoris.

But that’s only the beginning. She may like to be licked while on her hands and knees. You can then slide your face under her—in either direction. You can lie on your back and have your partner straddle your face—it helps if she can steady herself by leaning on the wall or headboard.

Rear entry is perhaps the easiest position for rimming because it affords good access to the anus. But most cunnilingus positions can be adapted for analingus as well.

You can bend over her vulva while kneeling at her side. With her legs spread wide and her hips raised, you can also reach her anus. She can sit on the edge of her chair with you eagerly kneeling at her feet. She can stand over you.

With your partner on her knees or standing, her clit and labia hang down and can be sucked into your mouth; with your partner on her back with legs spread, her genitals are stretched out, providing a wider surface for your tongue.

Many women love the mutual stimulation of the
69
position, either lying on top of each other or side by side. You may find it difficult to concentrate on licking your partner when your brain has slipped down between your legs. You can take turns pleasuring each other—there’s no rule that performing
69
means you have to reach orgasm simultaneously.

And mutual pleasuring doesn’t mean you both must like the same kinds of stimulation. You can penetrate your partner with fingers, a vibrator, or even your whole hand as her tongue and lips go to work on you. You can lick your partner while lying on a vibrator. Or you can simply reserve one hand for yourself.

What a Pain in the Neck!

A long session of oral sex can leave your neck feeling stiff or sore. You may have become so distracted that you may not have noticed the awkward position of your neck.

When my partner takes a very long time to come, my neck hurts!

There’s no reason you should have to pay for your pleasure with a trip to the chiropractor. Choose a position that supports your neck. For instance, you can lie on your back with a pillow under your neck as your partner straddles your face. Or slip pillows under your partner’s butt (or belly, if she’s lying on her stomach) to prop her up.

You might also consider Liberator Shapes’ high-density urethane core wedge, which slopes upward to support your partner’s hip and butt, raising her vulva 7 inches closer to your mouth.

If you’re prone to neck and back pain, here’s an opportunity to vary your repertoire. Combine oral sex with other forms of stimulation; make sure your partner is extremely aroused before you begin oral sex; or treat oral sex as a tasty appetizer—plug in the vibrator when it comes to the main course.

I thought I was going to have lockjaw once. She was lying back enjoying it, and I was thinking, “I love you, but come, for God’s sake, or my tongue’s going to commit suicide!”

(Detachable) Cocksucking

The first time my girlfriend gave me a blow job, I came so hard I thought I’d shoot across the room.

Many women love to give head to a gorgeous dyke (or transman) with an eager cock. And many of those who “pack”—tucking a strap-on dildo into Levi’s 501s or under trousers—enjoy the attention and stimulation of a blow job.

So why would anyone want to suck a hunk of silicone? The allure of this practice is part fantasy and part sensation. Most women who enjoy fellatio with a strap-on get off on the gender twist.

I love sucking lesbian cock. I’m really into the butch-on-butch thing.

(For those whose partners include FTMs, third gender, tranny boys, and butches who don’t identify as women
per se,
performing fellatio is a marker of gender identity, not fantasy. That cock in your mouth signifies your identity as a woman who loves her transgendered partners; for your partner, receiving a blow job is one of the great payoffs of masculine sexuality.)

Getting on your knees before your partner is a bold admission of desire. Whether or not you associate cocksucking with submission, you can’t miss the courage behind such a statement. You can feel your partner jump as you push the base of the dildo into her vulva. You can look up and watch her face as you lick the head of the dildo and slide it into your mouth. You’re up close and personal with the very part of her that will drive you wild when she penetrates you vaginally or anally.

Having my cock sucked changed my whole consciousness about gender and power.

For the lucky one receiving that blow job? It’s humbling to see your partner get on her knees for you. Having your partner worship your cock makes your gender fantasies come to life.

There’s heat in holding her head and watching her take you inside her mouth. The pressure of her mouth and hands pushing the base of the dildo against your mons and clitoris may be enough stimulation to make you come. Many dildo-loving dykes name fellatio as their favorite way to reach orgasm.

I really can’t explain the rush I get from a woman sucking my cock. It’s almost like it’s a real extension of me; and at times it has gotten me off.

You can combine silicone cocksucking with other kinds of stimulation. Your partner can lick her way to your butt or insert a finger into your anus or vagina. You can wear a butt plug and nipple clamps while your partner gives you head. You can slip a small battery-operated vibrator under the harness to provide direct clitoral stimulation or hold a wand-style vibrator between your thighs.