Threesomes: For Couples Who Want to Know More (3 page)

So okay, I’m a late bloomer, I admit it. Hell, I didn’t even have sex until I was 18. But now I’m in my mid-thirties and have a lot of good, and not so good, screwing experience behind me. I’m comfortable with who I am, and I’m ready to play nice and naughty with more than one person in the sandbox.

I am in a good relationship with a good man, and we are secure both in each other and in ourselves. When you know you’re each other’s ultimate fantasy, you can happily explore the dimensions of orgasmic pleasure with no negative side effects … or can you? Where do we start this and what will happen when we do?

I’ve learned a lot from my past mistakes and misadventures. No one
has
to have a threesome, but no one has to eat a banana split, either. I see the ménage à trois as the banana split of sex: It’s a little bit of everything good and yummy in one lovely serving dish.

I’ve also learned a lot from the numerous interviews I’ve conducted for this book. Despite some differences, there were a lot of similarities among those I talked to—the biggest being that everyone enjoyed doing it, and I’m happy to report that not one person told me his or her relationship broke up as a result of having a three-way. All in all, they said it was a fabulous experience, and most of the people who have done it once usually have done it again—maybe not every week, but definitely multiple times, and they say they will probably do it again in the future. That gave me a lot of confidence that, if done right—responsibly and maturely—it would be a tremendously positive experience.

The funniest part of interviewing people on the topic of threesomes was that women kept saying things along the lines of, “Hey, I’m giving my boyfriend a big gift by allowing him to have a three-way with me. He’s lucky and has no reason to complain about it,” while every man told me, “Hey, no matter what happened, I was lucky enough to have this experience, so there was no reason to complain about anything.”

Women, as they usually do, enjoyed telling me their stories, but the men were particularly enthusiastic, sparing not one detail, and even remembered names and what each woman was wearing. It is definitely a huge badge of honor for men, while women are more interested in the actual sexual exploration.

Either way, putting this book together was a wonderful sexual journey, one that I think everyone can learn from, whether you plan on actually acting on this impulse or not. But how can you resist the temptation of a rich, delicious, creamy banana split? No one I know or want to know can, that’s for sure.

Threesomes really happen
—oh boy, do they ever happen. It’s not just the stuff of trashy books, porn magazines, and late-night cable television.

Here’s the deal.

A lot of couples don’t talk about it because the boyfriend knows if he blabs about it to his friends his girlfriend will be furious with him, thus killing the chances of it ever happening again. And no man will ever spoil that party. A threesome is a precious gift after all—a gift he would love to be presented with over and over again.

And more women have done it than most would care to admit, including your own girlfriend whom you think you know more than anyone. Why, college experimentation and single-girl vacations to Cancun alone should be able to fill up a naughty little book about three-ways.

A lot of women won’t admit to having taken part in a threesome, especially to their boyfriends, because time has taught the fairer sex one harsh lesson early in life: You cannot one-up your man on sexual experience whether it be number of partners or actual exotic and daring acts. Men being men want to think they’ve had more sexual partners and/or sexual experiences with women and by in large feel threatened, inadequate, and insecure knowing their woman had a threesome and they did not.

Other women are just plain shy and too embarrassed to admit that they once got tipsy with their friends and decided to share the hot guy sitting between them, resulting in a lesbian experience that forever separated the two girlfriends.

Most single men can’t wait to tell their friends about their three-way experience, that they were able to snag not just two good-looking girls, but actually satisfy them both, too, or at least watch them get it on with each other. It’s one of those sexual conquests all men dream of achieving, absolutely.

But how many men will actually admit to having had a three-way with another man and one woman? That’s a tough one to answer. There is a clear double standard of homoeroticism between men and women. But it’s a safe bet to say there are a lot of men who have done this but decide not to tell anyone at the risk of being labeled gay.

But the truth is, there is a fair share of men who love watching their woman get it on with another man because it’s like bringing a porn movie, starring their girlfriend, to life in their own living room. Now that’s hot. Not only is she gorgeous, but she is sexy enough to take on two throbbing, hard cocks. That is definitely a huge turn-on to a lot of guys, whether they admit it to their buddies or not.

But how much do men really reveal to each other about their intimate and erotic longings anyway? Not so much, because talking about it in detail can be considered rather weird.

But by now you’re burning to actually know: how does a threesome happen and how can I make one happen for me?

A good-looking, free-spirited, laughing couple can be a very arousing sight to both men and women, whether at a party or a bar. A couple that are confident and secure enough to mingle together and not just bunch up in a corner can find themselves in many interesting positions.

Being social and interested in everything around you can attract some sexy people who may stop and chat with you, admire your good taste in dates, then your date’s clothes, then your date’s body, and then eventually just you and your date.

When you feel this wave of erotically charged vibes in the air and you think this could be fun, by all means catch it and keep it going by getting a round of drinks, making space on the couch, or suggesting a smoke break outside to tighten the bond. Things may go so well that you leave that party or bar to hit another place. Eventually, you may suggest a nightcap at your home. And then voilà, it happens.

Some modern and in-tune couples like to go to strip clubs together. It’s more exciting than going with the boys, and when you’re all charged up you can release that excitement immediately with the one you truly love.

Some dancers really dig it when couples come in and get lap dances together. It makes it all the more pleasant for them, and more than half of all dancers are actively bisexual. During breaks, they are known to hang with customers they like (don’t forget to buy them a drink), and if they’re getting off work soon, it isn’t always out of the question for a sexy stripper to want to play with a fun, attractive couple she is partying with.

When couples are seen at gentlemen’s clubs groping and kissing on their way to the bathroom or on their way out the door, there may very well be a horny lap dancer eyeing them both and asking the question, “Wanna have a three-way?” Who are you to resist it? Not many would.

It’s not easy to get many straight men to go clubbing, but that’s what girls night out is for, and too bad for those uptight guys because lots of ménage à trois start on the dance floor. Without even planning on it, your gal pal can start dancing with one tall, young stud, and of course she would never leave her friend out in the cold.

Grinding and bumping, you make a man sandwich, while the lucky guy takes turns facing one and clutching your waist, then turning around and pressing against your friend’s bountiful booty. If the two of you are open, you can get something cooking up fast. He starts to kiss your friend’s neck from behind while you press your breasts against his strong back and let your hands drop around his package. Things can get so heated at dance clubs that many a trio hasn’t even bothered to go home but just moved to a dark corner or a stall in the unisex bathroom. (And plenty of the trendier places have those solely for the purpose of messing around.)