Where You Can Find Me (18 page)

T
hree days passed
.

Three more murders.

Three more notes. All directed at Jack.

The fact that the case took a turn in an unexpected way when we thought the case ended already caused Jack to become obsessive. I’d barely seen him the last three days. I made him stay with me and, at night, he would come home while I slept and fall in bed beside me as though at the end of the day his legs couldn’t hold him and his worries up anymore. I didn’t know what to do. When he finally came to me at night, I did the only thing I could think of: I held him tight and gave him my silent support. I wrapped my arms around him and showed him that I would hold him up when he could no longer stand. Only his pure exhaustion pushed him to sleep at night. I could feel his tension tightening his limbs when I soothed him with my hands.

My worries invaded my thoughts constantly. As if the earlier part of the case wasn’t bad enough with him just working it, now he seemed to be the main reason that fueled the killer’s motivation. I didn’t understand how all of a sudden Jack moved to the center of this case. When I asked, he tried to explain that the police psychologist said he might have become the focus of the killer while working the case. That after a while the killer fixated on Jack and wanted to get his attention. When they thought Bennet was the murderer, the real killer decided to be more specific to get the attention he craved.

I didn’t understand. My mind ran around and around in circles trying to comprehend the place where we ended up. The day before, I tried to do some work in the lab. It had always taken my mind off of my troubles before and I returned to it, leaning on comforting habits. It didn’t work. I messed up two of my three procedures. Before I wasted more money and time, I left for the day to go bother Evie at home. She tried to distract me with brownies, but nothing worked.

Thursday, I sat at my desk staring aimlessly at my computer. I should have been researching my techniques for the next procedure of my work, but I couldn’t focus enough. All my attention went to pretending I was some rock for Jack and not choking on my fear of losing him. Some nights after I felt the rigidity seep from his body, I would sneak to the bathroom to sit on the floor with my back to the door and let the fear consume me. I needed the release after taking his stress away as best I could. I would let the tears fall silently and eventually dry my face and return to my spot with my arms wrapped around him, protecting him in his sleep.

Those three days that might as well have been three years for the amount of time it had taken off our lives. The only saving grace was the DNA sample the police department demanded to be in as top priority. If it came back as no match, I wasn’t sure how much longer we could go on like this. To add to the stress, Jameson pushed me to distance myself from Jack while this went on. I told him he could talk to me again when he got his head out of his ass. I never told Jack what he said because I worried he would agree and try to distance himself from me. We fought about him staying with me. He didn’t want to be around me all the time when he had a serial killer focusing on him. But I wouldn’t allow it. I told him I would camp outside of his house if he wouldn’t come to mine.

By the time Friday rolled around I felt immobilized with stress and exhaustion and didn’t want to waste anymore supplies, time, and money at the lab and decided to call in sick for a long weekend. I set about my day trying to get basic tasks done to keep myself busy. I went to the store to pick up supplies for lasagna, Jack’s favorite dinner. I knew the week lasted forever for him and wasn’t over, but I hoped something small like his favorite home cooked dish would shine a light on another shitty day.

As I pulled the lasagna out of the oven, my phone rang with a call from Jack.

“Hey, honey.” I put on my most positive voice. “I just pulled lasagna out of the oven. Do you think you’ll be home for dinner tonight.”

“Hey, Lu. That sounds delicious. Thank you. That’s actually why I was calling. I needed to get together with Grayson to discuss things I’ve been missing at the business and he invited us both over for dinner tonight. I think he wants to show me things are fine between us and put it behind us. Does that sound okay?”

I hesitated for a split second. I hadn’t seen Grayson since our short interaction on Monday morning at the precinct. Before their argument. But Jack needed his best friend and girlfriend to be okay around each other now more than ever, so I quickly answered. “I’d love to. Why don’t I bring the lasagna over to Grayson’s and we can eat that for dinner?”

“That sounds great, babe. Thank you. I’m leaving now. I should be there in about fifteen minutes. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” I hung up and set about wrapping up the dish. I put together a salad for a side dish. I thought about grabbing a wine, but remembered the wine rack on top of Grayson’s refrigerator and figured he had enough. By the time I had my jacket on and everything by the door Jack pulled into my driveway. I met him halfway on my walkway and he took the dishes and gave me a quick peck. The night had already begun settling a darkness over the sky, and made it difficult to see Jack’s face, but I could see the sharpness of his cheekbones in his hollow cheeks. The moon, making its ascent into the sky, shone on his pale skin and made the shadows below his eyes seem even darker. He had been living on coffee alone the past few days and his lean body showed the results. His black t-shirt still hugged his muscular shoulders while his dark gray slacks clung perfectly to his butt and thighs.

As we made our way to Grayson’s apartment, Jack filled me in on the day. “We didn’t get the DNA results in today. The lab said they will have them to us by tomorrow. I could hear Shane yelling at them from across the precinct.”

“I can imagine how angry he is to be put off this long on something this big.”

“Angry is an understatement. He’s feeling the pressure just like everyone else.”

I doubted anyone felt the pressure like Jack did, but I kept it to myself. Instead I asked, “What is going on with Bennet?”

A humorless laugh escaped his closed lips. “He’s out right now. We don’t know how that knife ended up in his car, but we don’t have anything to hold him on. Also, he finally told us how he went to Vegas over vacation and got the scratches from some prostitute. His story checked out but he is on enforced leave. I know Shane has some guys keeping their eyes on him. When he comes back he will have to have a psych evaluation and be put on probation. I still don’t fucking like him.”

I nodded my head and we settled into an easy silence until we pulled into Grayson’s parking garage. Grayson opened his door and looked just as tired as we all felt. Dark shadows beneath his eyes matched his dark gray t-shirt. His beard stubble, that looked like it hadn’t been shaved all week, covered sunken cheeks that matched Jack’s.

“Hey guys. Come on in.” He stepped back to let us into the apartment. After closing the door he took our jackets and hung them in the closet. I lifted my eyes to his when he took my jacket, trying to get a feel for his true feelings about all of us being here together, especially after his argument with Jack earlier this week. When I looked up, a chill ran down my spine as I connected with his hard, cold, gray eyes. I expected to see dull exhaustion weighing him down but instead, behind the ice, I saw a fire burning that made him look more aware than anyone in the room.

My eyebrows scrunched down as I tried to understand, but before I could process any of it he turned to the closet. When he turned back a flirtatious glint brought out the blue and he scanned my body up and down with a cocky smirk gracing his lips. He winked as he said, “You look good, beautiful. I know Jack said no more threesomes, but I could always do a one-on-one with you.”

Heat rose up to my cheeks while I processed if he meant the offer as a joke or not. Jack shoved him from behind with a quick chuckle. “Leave my girl alone, Grayson. Someday you’ll find a woman you can’t imagine sharing and you’ll have a new understanding of my position.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. You loooove her and all that shit.” He dragged the word out, joking around with Jack.

The mood lightened as Grayson continued on, making flirty suggestive comments to me, and I could only assume that would last as long as Jack and I were together. Jack and Grayson ribbed on each other as they returned to their brotherly ways. A lightness filled my chest as I watched these two men make jokes with each other. We ignored the dark cloud looming over our heads for the time being while we enjoyed our meal. The DNA results would be in the following day and hopefully that would give us the answers we needed to move on from this.

Until then, we sat there drinking and laughing. Grayson told me stories about them in the Army and the pranks they would pull when they were going stir crazy. Jack just hung his head with a smile knowing he couldn’t defend himself and not really bothering to. They passed stories back and forth and ate more lasagna than was natural. I always had leftovers for the week, but once they were done I had maybe enough left for lunch for the next day.

Grayson lifted his arms behind his head and stretched his denim clad legs out under the table. “Damn, that was some good lasagna, beautiful. I can barely sit up straight I’m so full.”

“I’m glad you liked it.”

“Alright, man. Dinner has been great and a much needed relaxing time but we need to talk about what we are going to do if the results come back tomorrow and are useless to us. We need to talk about the business. This case is taking much more time than expected. We might need to bring someone else in to help with the caseload.” Jack ran his hands through his long strands, pulling the dark hair tight at the back. His chest rose with a deep inhale and his exhale pushed his cheeks out with its force.

Grayson paused and studied Jack’s face as it tipped back and he closed his eyes. Quietly he said, “I think we’ll get some results tomorrow.” Jack opened his eyes and gave a skeptical look to Grayson. I didn’t blame his doubt. This whole case hadn’t gone as planned. Before he could argue, Grayson continued, “But let’s head to the living room and get comfy before we dig into the conversation.”

Jack and I cleared the table as Grayson moved into the living room to turn on some music.

Jack pulled me into his arms after we placed the last of the dishes into the sink. “I’m sorry we have to talk about this now. I just wanted you near me and to share a dinner with you tonight. It’s been a long week.”

I rested my head on his shoulder enjoying the comfort of his strong arms around me. He stood so much taller than me. The way my head only came to his chest and fit perfectly below his shoulder made me feel like we fit. I felt cherished and safe. “It’s okay. There is nowhere else I would rather be.”

I pulled out of his arms as Grayson came into the kitchen with three glasses of wine. “Here you go. I had to finish off the bottle and figured we could all use a glass before we sit down for the serious talking now.”

“I could definitely use a glass.” I tipped the glass back and drained it in one go. I did not look forward to sitting around and talking some more about a murder. I knew I needed to put on a strong face for Jack again, so I drank all my wine to help me out.

Jack let a small laugh escape, shaking his head at my antics before taking a small sip. He sat his glass on the counter. “I’m going to take a piss before we get started. I’ll meet you in there.” He placed a kiss on my head and walked toward the restroom.

“Go ahead and sit down. I’ll be in there in a minute.”

I made my way to the living room and peeked around. There wasn’t a whole lot in the room. The black leather couch and matching loveseat made an L-shape facing a large flat screen TV mounted to the wall above a fireplace. Only an abstract canvas graced the white walls.

Feeling the effects of the wine I drank too quickly, I stumbled on my turn to sit on the couch and looked at the cluttered mocha colored coffee table. Magazines piled neatly in the corner and nearest me sat a large photo album. Curiosity got the best of me and I tugged it closer hoping to find some pictures of Jack. Maybe even some in uniform. As I lifted the cover a smile tugged my lips at the thought of Jack in uniform. I wondered if he still had the uniform. I could get him to wear it during sex. It would be so hot and sex—.

The smile slowly slipped from my lips as my brain tried to process what lay in front of me. My lungs compressed as the oxygen leaked from my parted lips. My vision blurred and I blinked over and over again trying to make the images change into something else. Air began to saw in and out of my dry mouth as blood rushed to my head making a deafening sound. A burning behind my eyes started and continued to my nose as they glossed over with tears.

“What? Wha—?” I kept saying it over and over again, whispered on each breath that barely escaped my heaving lungs. I forced my shaky hand to turn the page. A tingling numbness made them almost impossible to control. A sluggishness caused from panic and the wine made the pictures blur as a wetness ran down my cheeks.

The second page mirrored the first. Multiple pictures of different girls. At the top of each page held a name and a date.
Megan: 2013.
A nude girl with a ball gag in her mouth crying in a dog cage. The same girl strapped to a bed, a look of terror gracing her beautiful face. One beside it of her being raped from the rapist’s point of view. Her face scrunched in pain and anguish as she looked away from the camera. Another of her with her eyes closed and blood and cuts all over the sheets, her body brutalized in the worst way. Each page held similar pictures and my hands stopped working, incapable of closing the book, as bile rose up my esophagus and burned the back of my throat.

“Oh. I see you found my collection. It’s pretty impressive isn’t it? I’ve been working on it for years.”

My head jerked to see Grayson standing behind me. His lips stretched in a joyous smile. His voice was light and rang with pride at the book on the table. It began to click into place. Sweat beaded on my brow and slid down from my hairline. My breathing became erratic and panic settled over me and I couldn’t move.
Move! You stupid fool! Get up and run. Yell for Jack. Do something!