“I think I can manage that,” I smiled. This seemed to appease her, and we talked about the small number of people who we would ask to be there. I insisted that she allow Fleur and Bernadine to attend the ceremony. Celia looked as though she wanted to protest, but she did not, knowing that I would not drop the subject until she agreed.
* * *
The day of Li’s wedding finally arrived. We stayed in her room the night before, and it was like old times. We giggled away well into the night and slept only a little then got out of bed just as the sun was lighting up the bedroom. Breakfast and lunch were served in Li’s bedroom to ensure that Leo would not see her, as it might bring them bad luck on their wedding day. Celia joined us for lunch and almost immediately after that we began dressing for the ceremony.
The wedding gown was resplendent. It was white with gold embellishments that were scattered all about the skirt, which was followed with a very long train. The shoulders of the gown came to a rolled fabric with gold lace that stuck straight up and fanned out. She wore a long veil that was accented with tiny pearls all over. Beneath it, Li’s hair was crowned by three gold ribbons that wrapped around the curly bunch atop her head. She was radiant.
My gown was silver. It was the first time Celia asked that the seamstress did not use green, though I still wore a necklace that was spotted with emeralds. The light material came apart in the middle of the skirt to reveal a white underskirt that had the same embellishments as Li’s, only in silver. The shoulders of my gown were similar to Li’s but not nearly as extravagant, and my hair was also piled high on my head, but it was wrapped around with two silver ribbons which had a square pattern.
Li’s step-father bestowed Leo with an exceptional dowry, and she was told that her trousseau rivaled that of a French princess, which delighted her. She thought it was far too much, but for once she was enjoying the attention. Had she actually made it out for the entire season in London, I think she might have done very well. She was happy with Leo, though, and I could not think of a better man for her to wind up with.
The whole of the wedding was exquisite. All of society was staying at Hilbourne, thanks to Celia, and she could not have been happier for it. The dining hall had been filled end to end for several nights leading up to the wedding. Li did not care for the crowd so much, but I think that she was finally enjoying that people were making such a fuss over her.
At one point, we realized Celia forgot Li’s bouquet downstairs, so I left them to go and find it. Everything had to be just so, and I found opportunity to escape the bustling women who were buttoning gowns and ruffling skirts in the room. As I descended the stairs, Julian was coming up, and we both stopped to survey one another. He wore a blue velvet jacket and his cravat was accented with the same tiny pearls that were placed on my gown and on Li’s veil.
Our eyes did not move from one another as we passed on the stairs, but he did not touch me knowing that Celia would lose her composure if one fold of fabric came back upstairs out of place. When I turned at the bottom of the stairs to look up, he was at the top looking down at me. We smiled at one another, and then I walked away, with his eyes still on me, to retrieve the missing flowers.
The ceremony was held in the chapel at Hilbourne, which was in the original monastic part of the Abbey. I had never seen Li look more happy, and I guessed that Leo felt the same because his reaction to her as she entered the chapel could only be described as awe. Celia called the moment
‘just perfect.’
Then she wept with the realization that her son was getting married.
There was a ball after the ceremony that was surely the most splendid affair for society that year. Reginald had rare wine shipped in from Italy, and there was also a drink called Courvoisier which was said to be Napoleon’s favorite, though I was sure he would not be enjoying any while he was locked safely away on the isle of Saint Helena.
The ballroom was decorated in beautiful shades of gold and autumn hues which really seemed to compliment both Li and her gown. It was a welcome change from the pastels that were the style in London. There was also a string quartet and a man who played the large piano while the guests danced. When Li finally broke away from her many congratulations to dance with Leo, you could see how they longed to be alone. They were truly happy together and Celia was absolutely right, it was all
‘just perfect.’
Julian found himself tied up with many of the guests in attendance, as well. I stood with the old couple who I’d met at breakfast at Li’s engagement party when he came over to me and took my hand, leading me to the dance floor.
“Madame, you have a look that competes with the bride herself! How very scandalous that you have schemed to take all the attention from her,” he joked as we spun around the floor.
“I was only hoping for the attention of one,” I said back, and he knew I meant him.
“Surely you jest, not an eye is off of you at this moment.” He looked around the room.
“You are ridiculous!”
“I am only telling you what I see.” He smiled down at me.
“Then lie.” I laughed and he smirked.
“Why waste good compliments on such an ungrateful courtesan?” he asked accepting my challenge.
“Careful what you say, you’ll wind up with a red cheek once I free my hands of these gloves!” I said, and he laughed.
It was nearly our only interaction the whole night because he had so many people to see, and I was popular on the dance floor. I did manage to get in one dance with Leo and two with Reginald while Celia was with other guests. When it was late and all the guests cleared the ballroom, Celia and Reginald were dancing alone without music. Julian and I stood, unnoticed, in one of the doorways looking on as Lord Hilbourne led Celia gracefully around the floor. I was dreaming that my own mother and father were drifting by to an imaginary tune. Julian grabbed my hand and spun me around.
“Let me see this thing.” He was referring to my gown.
“Just as I thought, it must weigh at least as much as a block of marble.”
Reginald and Celia were coming out of the ballroom and overheard. Celia defended the gown.
“Well, at least it’s not made of brocade! Now off to bed!” she said, and with that, we all went our separate ways.
When I got to my room, Fleur was asleep in a chair, waiting for me. I began to take down my hair and did not realize she woke up.
“Oh, Lady Rhineholt! You look an angel!” She did not see me before I went down because Li’s maid had dressed me. I turned to face her.
“Fleur, I want you to call me Tamsin from now on,” I said.
“Oh, but I can’t!” She was shaking her head ferociously.
“Yes, you can and you will. It will make me feel more comfortable,” I said.
“Yes... Lady Tamsin?” She asked.
“That’s good enough for now, I suppose. Now, let’s get this thing off of me, it feels like I’m wearing a saddle!” I said, and it was the first time I heard her laugh in such a long time.
CHAPTER 17
The following morning we saw Li and Leo off on their wedding holiday. They both seemed supremely happy and very much in love. They would be gone for one full month as they would be spending some time with Li’s parents and brother at
Anbetung.
I wished I could accompany them, it seemed so long since I last saw Germany. I would also miss Li horribly. It was only the first day of November, she would not return until early December.
After they were gone and the guests began to depart, Celia, Julian and I talked of our plans to spend a few days in the village. Celia was looking forward to getting away from Hilbourne for a bit, but she would be busy visiting people, so Julian and I would be on our own for the excursion to Rhineholt. Celia demanded that we bring one of the servants along to chaperone but she knew her arguments were useless with us.
“Very well. People will talk. Thank God you’ll be married before the year is out!” she said, tired of our protests.
“I have half a mind to drag her to the chapel right now, before she has a chance to change her mind again,” said Julian, looking sideways at me.
“No thank you, I have had enough heavy, immaculate gowns and rich foods for one month. In fact, maybe we should push our own ceremony back a little?” I said mischievously. The comment received a raised eyebrow from both Julian and Celia. I was the only one who laughed.
When the last guest finally departed, I was in my room with Fleur preparing for the next few days. We heard the horses below, getting softer and softer down the lane until the sound completely disappeared. I sighed in relief that things would be calm for a little while. I hoped that my nightmares might cease since it seemed that my life was finally falling into place. Julian’s plan to take me to see the ruins of Rhineholt could only affect me one of two ways: it would jar me into the realization that there would be no more fires, or it would give my imagination new imagery for the nightmares. It could not possibly make them worse... I hoped.
Julian also wanted to go and see Creeda, but he agreed with me that it might be best for me to spend that time with Celia because of the way Creeda acted on my last visit to Aven Cottage. I did enjoy the old woman’s company, but I did not want her ominous account of my future again. Dear Creeda, she meant well.
“Are you sure you won’t be needing me to come along?” asked Fleur.
“I am quite sure, and I think that Bernadine will be glad to have your assistance here to finish getting everything back in order from the wedding celebration,” I replied. She went over to the window to pull back the drapes and let a little more sunlight in, and I suddenly decided that it was time I heard Fleur’s account of her parents. I hoped that she would not be put off by my asking. She knew how bold I was just based on my asking her to call me by my Christian name.
“Fleur, will you come and sit with me for a while?” I asked.
“Have I done something wrong?” she looked stunned.
“No, Fleur, I would just like your company for a while. Li is to be away for a month’s time, and I am hoping that we might get to know one another a little better while she is on holiday.” She nodded after I said that, but she still seemed uncomfortable with the idea.
“Have you been with Bernadine your whole life?” I asked.
“Yes, Ma’am... She took me in when only a short time after Creeda helped my mother to give birth. Were it not for my Aunt then I would only have Creeda and as kind as she is, I think it is better that I am with my family. I’d be imposing on Creeda...” She looked down.
“I think that Bernadine is more than happy to have you with her. What became of your mother and father?” She looked at me a little startled and finally spoke, again looking at her feet.
“I never knew my father.” There was a pause.
“You are aware that my mother died bringing me into this world.” She paused again, thinking. She was sharper than I realized, or perhaps her mother’s death was common knowledge.
“Bernadine does not like to talk about my mother, but she says she’s told me all that she knew of where I came from. My mother, she was not married to my father... I hope you will not think less of me for it?”
“Of course not! You could not possibly have played a part in your parents’ choice to marry or not!” I patted her shoulder.
“Bernadine says that my mother was like her mother, and they would take men’s money to provide them with ... a
service
for a time. She says that she would not have told me, but she wanted me to know where I came from and to teach me a lesson not to lead the same wicked life because it only causes harm,” she said.
“I think that was wise of her, though I’m sure it was difficult for you to hear,” I said and she nodded and was silent again.
“So, do you think that your father is still alive?” I asked.
“Oh yes, Ma’am. There were several times I had parcels and I know they were from him.
So he must still be alive, and maybe somewhere near, though I haven’t heard anything from him in several years. That is always how it goes, for a long time there would be nothing, and then something would turn up with a note, always the same handwriting. I don’t read so well, so Franny used to tell me what the notes said.” She seemed sad talking about this, and I wondered if it was because she wanted so badly to know him.
It must have been Uncle Charles, who else would have been able to get a package to her so easily? Bernadine must know. If she does not, then the story only lends itself to Uncle Charles being able to personally sneak a parcel into Fleur’s room when she was young. If that is the case, he really was meticulously careful not to let my Aunt know his part in Fleur’s life.
“That is awfully kind of him, to let him know that he still thinks of you,” I said, but she frowned.
“I suppose, but it might be nicer to have a father in my life rather than one who only remembers me sometimes.” I could see that the conversation was upsetting her so I changed the subject. I asked her about how often she went to see Creeda, and told her of the time that I spent with her when I was thrown from Perseus. It seemed to calm Fleur that I was doing the talking and changed the subject from her own life to mine.
I decided then that it was time for me to talk to Bernadine about Camilla and Uncle Charles. I was not sure if even she would know, but how could she not have suspected their relationship when my mother found out the way that she did. My mother was close with Bernadine, so it’s possible that she may have even confided in her.
Dismissing Fleur, I thanked her for keeping me company and then headed downstairs for tea time. Only Reginald and Celia were there, Julian sauntered in after we finished, yawning, and I assumed he must have napped, still tired from the ball. It made me realize how exhausted I was myself. I made up my mind to try to take a nap after visiting with them for a bit and went right up to my room when we were done.