The day had resulted in reinforcing a decision to make amends for the pain she’d caused Rachel and try to explain her actions. Even if things didn’t progress any further, she might be able to reclaim her as a friend. It was worth the risk. Her feelings told her that. It was just a question of whether it was too late.
***
Now, giving herself one last look in the mirror at the top of the stairs, the doorbell rang. Her heart skipped a beat, despite knowing it wasn’t Rachel and her friend. She couldn’t possibly have missed them wandering down the path.
“Good evening, Jess,” Tom said smiling, as Julie kissed her on each cheek.
They both followed Jess into the kitchen, commenting on how wonderful the food smelled, and placed two bottles of wine down on to the counter. The doorbell went again. Her uncle called, “Jess, could you get that please?” Her feet instantly glued themselves to the floor. Julie squeezed her arm. “I’ll go, just try and relax.”
Relaxing now was the furthest thing from her mind, yet she had to if she wasn’t going make a complete fool of herself. This was not the impression she wanted to portray to Rachel.
It wasn’t long before Julie, Rachel and Margaret entered the kitchen, Rachel speaking of her sister’s embarrassment when Nigel, her husband to be, dropped the ring and to his horror it bounced onto the church floor and rolled away down the aisle. All three were laughing when they looked toward Jess and Tom. Julie hung back, forcing Rachel to make the introductions. “Margaret, this is Tom and Jess. Jess and Tom, this is Margaret.”
Tom smiled and stepped forward, taking her hand as he kissed her on the cheek. “Good to meet you Margaret.”
“Nice to meet you too.”
Jess dragged her gaze from Rachel. The room spun and her heart was beating so hard she thought it would burst out of her chest
.
She looked at Margaret and smiled hurriedly, thrusting out a stiff arm. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Margaret looked taken aback. Jess told herself to relax and smiled warmly. “I’ll warn you now, prepare yourself for an interrogation, they all like a new face.” She couldn’t believe she had actually managed to form a coherent sentence and it seemed no one else did either, as they began to laugh, breaking the tension.
Tom offered to sort out the wine as Jess turned to Rachel. “Hi, I hope you enjoyed your trip?”
She responded pleasantly. “Yes thank you, I did.”
“You look well.” Jess actually wanted to say,
you look more beautiful than I remember.
Then take her in her arms, kiss her and tell her how sorry she was for what she had done.
“Thank you. You’re looking better than when I last saw you.” Rachel lifted her eyebrows.
Sensing Rachel’s melancholy, Jess reached out and touched her arm. “Glass of wine?”
“Thank you.”
***
Later, Rachel and Margaret walked up the hill arm in arm to the lodge, Margaret shivered and huddled closer. “What an interesting bunch. In fact, they are a lovely group of people. I thoroughly enjoyed this evening.”
Rachel grinned. “Good, I’m pleased.” She briefly reflected on the night. Everyone had been in high spirits and the conversation had been as easy as any night she had spent with them. Jess had initially seemed uncomfortable, and she was unsure as to whether it was embarrassment at having to appear as if nothing had happened between them, or that she had come to terms with what she had done and moved on. Rachel decided it was neither; she’d caught Jess glancing her way a number of times and that look of desire was still evident. She shook her head. How could that be? She turned to Margaret. “What did you think of Jess?”
Margaret smiled at her friend. “I hope you don’t mind, I actually liked her.”
Rachel returned the smile. “Why should I mind? I like her too.” She sighed. “She was quiet though, wasn’t she?”
“Well, you’ve said before she tends to be quiet when there are a number of people around.”
“Yes, I suppose.”
Margaret chuckled lightly and pulled Rachel closer. “She did seem terribly nervous at first, though. I think she actually had a dose of apoplexy when you entered that kitchen. I thought I was going to have to practice my resuscitation skills.”
Rachel laughed and Margaret continued, “She also had great difficulty taking her eyes off you for the entire evening.”
Rachel’s smile was half-hearted. “You think so?”
“I know so.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Jess called out as she entered the kitchen, “Uncle Jack, are you in the conservatory?”
“Yes.”
She headed to the doorway. “I’ve had to take Marie to Bill’s, so I will just…” She popped her head in and stopped. “Oh, my apologies, I didn’t realize you had company.” Jess managed an awkward smile in Margaret and Rachel’s direction. “Hello.” Then looking at the feast laid out she turned to her uncle. “I can see you don’t need me to fix lunch.”
Jack waved toward a chair. “Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to join us?”
Jess glanced over at Rachel. “I don’t want to intrude.”
He pulled out the seat nearest to him. “Nonsense, they have made enough for you as well.”
Jack handed her a plate and the selection of sandwiches. She stacked what she thought was a polite pile onto her plate and sat back. Jack continued. “We were just discussing Rachel’s book signing.”
“Oh yes?” She glanced at Rachel again. She was having a little difficulty not looking her way.
“Jack’s decided he would like to attend the party.”
She placed her plate down and turned to her uncle for confirmation. “I’ve not been to a good party in years. Rachel invited us all the other night at dinner, and it appears we’re definitely the only ones that can go.”
Jess’s eyes widened as she sat forward again. “We?”
Jack patted her knee and smiled. “Yes, you and me.”
She looked from Rachel to Margaret and then back to her uncle. Rachel smiled. “Yes.”
Jack looked triumphant. “All sorted then. I’ll organize the transport and the hotel.”
Jess sat back again. “Okay then.”
After a moment he asked, “Are you not going to argue with me?”
She smiled without flinching. “No, why?” She desperately wanted to argue and tell them what a damn stupid idea it was. He didn’t have the strength or the stamina for a weekend in London. But who was she to deny him if that’s what he wanted?
Margaret said, “I did offer to put you both up, but Jack wouldn’t hear of it.”
“Thank you Margaret, a hotel is probably more practical.”
Jess agonized for the rest of lunch and during the clearing up afterward. She needed to speak to Rachel. It was highly unlikely she would really want her at the book signing. It was going to be an important and difficult enough day as it was.
After they said their goodbyes to Jack, Jess followed the two women out the front door. Jess took the plunge. “Sorry, Rachel, could I have a quick word, please?” Rachel stopped. Margaret moved a few feet away. “About the book signing. If you would rather I didn’t go I…”
She interrupted Jess curtly. “Why wouldn’t I want you to go? I don’t make invitations I don’t mean.” She quickly turned and strode toward Margaret, who raised an eyebrow at her in question. She stopped, sighed and returned to speak to Jess. “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for but...”
Jess continued for her. “But you have enough to deal with at the moment. And now the book signing with Michelle will include me being there. Fantastic, eh?” Rachel’s eyes widened.
Bingo,
Jess thought. She persevered. “Believe it or not, I do have some say in what I do and don’t do. I could easily get out of it.”
Rachel smiled and said, “I may have fought this venture all the way, but I’m beginning to see how right Scott was. I would very much like to have you both there.” She smiled again.
Jess thought she was going to get her head bitten off for putting words into Rachel’s mouth, but the words were sincere. Waves of electricity rushed through her body as she met Rachel’s eyes.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Finishing her coffee as she and Margaret watched the birds feeding, Rachel asked, “How did you get us into a whole day with Jess?”
“How could I resist a tour of the rugged countryside with a rugged woman? I didn’t think you’d trust me.”
Rachel rolled her eyes. “You wouldn’t do that to Diane.”
Margaret winked. “Six weeks apart is a long time.” Diane had returned to her native New Zealand to spend time with her sister who had three children under the age of six and twins on the way. To make matters worse, their mother had been involved in a road traffic accident that had left her with a fractured leg and ribs. So Diane, rather than worry from a distance, was more than willing to help. Unfortunately, she and her mother had never seen eye to eye and she certainly didn’t approve of her relationships with women. Usually, that wouldn’t deter Diane taking Margaret with her. This time though, they thought for everyone’s comfort she would stay behind.
They sat quietly for a few moments before Margaret said, “You seem much more relaxed in Jess’s company. I didn’t think you’d mind. She said we needn’t go if you were uncomfortable about it.”
Rachel looked at her friend suspiciously. “What are you getting at, Margaret? And why would Jess feel I might be uncomfortable?”
“Well, it’s certainly a possibility. You still don’t trust her do you?”
“Did Jess say that?”
“No. I’ve just said it. I can understand that you wouldn’t. I wouldn’t want my feelings thrown back in my face again either.”
Rachel frowned. That’s all she had thought about since she’d come back. What would happen if she let Jess into her heart again? She was finding it difficult to think beyond those desolate feelings of being deserted like that. If it happened once it could happen again. Yet she was in danger. She liked Jess. She was a wonderful, thoughtful and humorous woman to be around. She shook her head and sighed.
Margaret looked at her. “Rachel, I find it difficult computing Jess with the woman who deserted you. She’s besotted with you. It’s written all over her face.”
Rachel suddenly stood. “Do you think I dreamt it? Made it all up? I’m finding this difficult as well. I can cope with things the way they are now. If…”
Margaret grabbed Rachel’s arm. “I’m sorry Rachel. I know. Please sit down?”
Rachel sat, looking at her friend. “I’m sorry, too.” It seemed recently, that whenever they discussed Jess, it resulted in an argument.
Margaret patted her knee. “Let’s not spoil the day. She’ll be here shortly. Come on, let’s get ready.”
***
Jess pulled up the Range Rover in front of Lomond Lodge, switched off the engine and climbed out. It was a beautiful still day, a little cold, but perfect for the short walk and leisurely day she had in mind.
Rachel emerged, smiling. “Good morning. Just waiting for Margaret.”
“No hurry.” Jess stood, not able to help her eyes scanning the entire length of Rachel’s body. She looked so relaxed and beautiful, the khaki jeans and white T-shirt fitted comfortably to every curve and contour of her body. Her hair shone in the sunshine and those big brown eyes were bright.
Recognizing the look, Rachel stopped, and swallowed as her mouth instantly dried. Instinctively she licked her lips to moisten them as she peered dangerously into those eyes. She watched them dilate causing other areas of her body to treacherously moisten.
Oh great. This is getting more difficult.
“Morning, Jess.” Margaret slapped Rachel on the back as she bustled past her. “Come on Rachel, lock up. I’ve got the bags and your jacket.”
Jess cleared her throat and smiled. “Hello, Margaret. You’re all set then?” Quickly turning she opened the doors to the Range Rover.
***
“I can’t believe that noise. They must be hoarse by the end of the day.” Margaret looked at Jess. “I thought you said it was peaceful in the mountains?”
Rachel and Jess laughed. “It is. You can’t hear anything else can you?” Jess replied. “I’ll go and get the sandwiches.”
Rachel reached out. “Jess, could you bring my bag in please?” Jess smiled and nodded as she left the hide.
“This place really is incredible, Rachel. Are you sure you don’t want to get any closer? Jess said it would be all right.”
“No this is perfectly fine. It’s the landscape I’m more interested in at the moment. These telescopes will do the trick if I want more detail. And it’s warmer in here than out there for lunch. I thought the bellowing was bothering you anyway, it’d be worse if we were any nearer.”
Margaret chuckled. “It’s not really. I just never imagined deer were so vocal, and it carries. You hear them way before you see them.”
“Just the stags,” Rachel teased. “I’ve never heard it before either. I’m usually away by the rutting season.”
“So you’re an expert now, after our little talk?” They both grinned as Jess walked back in.
Margaret took the lunch box. “I’ll sort this out.”
Rachel took her bag from Jess and smiled. “This is wonderful. You were right about the light. The colors are so rich and vivid, and the mountains so well defined. It really is beautiful.”
Jess was pleased. “The light is always different at this time of the year. It’s clear and clean, like nowhere else.” She chuckled. “That I’ve been anyway.”
“You mean when you can see it through all that rain you have up here. Not forgetting the mist and fog.”
Rachel turned around. “Margaret, the weather’s been pretty good since you’ve been here.”
She grinned. “That’s what I mean.” She looked at Jess. “Seriously though, Rachel is right, it is beautiful.”
While they tucked into their lunch, Rachel got out her watercolors. There was so much she could capture. The scenery was vast with burns snaking their way across uneven ground of grasses, rock and carpets of moss. Rowan trees covered large areas, their berries producing a blood red haze at the base of the hills. The bright orange and browns of the dying bracken dotted about in magnificent swathes. And the dark green expanse of the pine forest next to the grays of the open mountain sides. It was dramatic. She couldn’t help but smile when she looked at the herd of deer and the great stag, with his antlers magnificently branching on his head. It was a scene very reminiscent of many traditional Scottish paintings she had seen.