101 Nights of Great Sex (14 page)

And don’t worry about running out of hot water. You two can make your own steam.

S
PECIAL
N
OTE
:

1 awesome option: a waterproof vibrator, available at your favorite adult boutique (every woman should have one!). Choose from one of several models at
www.goodvibes.com
, which is kind of a Bed, Bath & Way Beyond place to shop.

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S
HOWER SCENES IN MOVIES.
Wet t-shirt contests in bars. Beer commercials. “Girls Gone Wild.” Olympic beach volleyball. Everywhere you look, all around the world, there’s a universal image that every man finds arousing: the wet woman.

Doesn’t matter if she’s under water, dripping wet, or just a little damp with perspiration. It looks
hot
. Men love it. And this week you’re going to surprise your man with a little glistening skin in the most unlikely place.

Preparation for this seduction couldn’t be easier. Everything you need is probably already in your house, except for one simple, inexpensive ingredient. It’s a man’s classic white undershirt, the kind with no sleeves or collar. You know it as, the “wife-beater.” One of your tank tops will work in a pinch.

This undershirt either looks totally great on a guy, or totally dorky. It all depends on how much time he spends at the gym. But every woman looks sexy wearing one of these t- shirts. It reveals that lovely curve along the outside of the breast. It barely conceals the nipple. It says, “I’m almost naked.” It’s the good kind of trashy. If you don’t have one, go buy one today.

The hardest part of your seduction is getting up a little early without waking your man. Quietly sneak out of bed, go brush your teeth, climb in the shower, and wash with one of those wonderful scented shower gels. My pick?
Green Tea
, by Estee Lauder. Yummy. The fragrance will stay with you all morning. When you step out of the shower... put on your t-shirt. Yes, I mean while you’re still wet. Damp-dry your hair, and wipe off the rest of your exposed skin, but let that sheer moist cotton cling to you. In fact, splash a little more water right over your nipples. Let them peek through that sheer wet fabric.

Now go and rouse your guy from his sleep. One look at you and that shouldn’t be hard to do. Roll him on his back and climb on top of him, in all your glistening dream-girl glory. You may be thinking “
Make-up! I need make-up! I need to dry my hair!
” But trust me — he’s thinking “
Boobies! Wet boobies! Shiny, wet woman is giving me an erection! I’ve died and gone to Hooters
!”

The lingerie business is a multi-million dollar industry and for good reason—there’s nothing like a beautiful ensemble to make you feel sexy. But look how sexy your man thought your were in his t-shirt! I’ve created a lot of seductions over the years that required some help from Victoria’s Secret. But I think this is the first time I ever had an orgasm courtesy of Fruit-of-the-Loom.

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Y
OUR MAN WALKS AROUND ALL DAY LONG
with a sex toy in plain sight — how kinky! — and he doesn’t even know it. It’s his belt. And this Friday it’s going to be the center of your erotic play.

On Monday, go to my website and send him the e-tease we created especially for this erotic encounter. It’s just vague enough that it won’t give anything away, but you can bet that it’ll keep him thinking about you and your surprise all week long. When playtime rolls around, make a big show of removing his belt. Tug the buckle open slowly and slip the belt off, loop by loop. Drape it around the back of his neck, pull his face to yours, and give him a long, hard kiss.

Reach down and open his pants. Walk around him as you inch them down. Once you’re standing behind him...

Crrrack! I’ll bet that’s the first time he’s been smacked on the ass with a belt in a long, long time. Laugh and let him have another. Smmmack! Hard enough to make him jump. Gentle enough to let him know it’s all in good fun.

Now focus on that big, beautiful penis. Tease it with the belt. Slip it under his erection and lift it up, rubbing the hot skin and cool leather against your face. Grab his wrists and tie the belt around them in a loose knot. It doesn’t have to be secure. Hey, he’s not going anywhere: not with your mouth warming up the tip of his penis.

There are lots of ways to turn leather into foreplay. But the final move is yours, and it’s one of my sexy favorites. Put the belt around your waist, leaving it loose and low. Take his hand and wrap his fingers around it. Whisper in his ear: “Hold on tight”. Then turn around on your hands and knees, ass up high, belt slung under your hips. Aw yeah, that’s hot. The belt gives him enough extra grip to pull you in closer and deeper and faster than ever before.

Everybody knows a belt is the best way to keep pants up. But for you two, it’s also the fastest way to get them off.

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T
HIS WEEK’S SEXY SURPRISE COMES TO US
courtesy of Jenna Jameson, the world’s most famous adult film actress. She wrote a book called
How To Make Love Like A Porn Star
, and — surprise! — it’s actually quite good. It’s mostly a very entertaining biography of a woman who finally found love and happiness after overcoming a rough beginning and some unbelievably bad choices. It is also, as you might expect, pretty hot.
Way
hot.

One particular chapter really stuck in my head. She painted a scene so erotic that I couldn’t shake it, and I knew I would have to recreate it for my own guy. It wasn’t just the sex that made it so arousing. It was more about sexual confidence and a big dose of raw boldness. That’s the kind of thing I don’t always feel in real life. But I always feel great when I can pull it off — even if I have to fake it a little along the way.

You’re going to need some courage for this one. (And maybe a drink or two!) Tonight you’re a porn star. Start with an e-mail teaser to get his attention:
Show starts at 8. Meet me in the bedroom.
When the time comes, greet him with a kiss, but don’t say a word. Just lead him to a chair you’ve set up in the bedroom. Music and soft light are a must. Strip to your undies, lie down on the floor directly in front of your man, and then... start to play with yourself.

Knees up, legs apart. Arch your back like you’re onstage at a strip club. Sure, you may be nervous, but trust me, your man is
loving
this. Let him see your fingers slide under the edge of your panties. Pull them aside and let him get a full, long view as your stroke your lips and circle your clit. Once you’re wet — really wet — slip a finger inside and then — classic porn move here — put your finger in your mouth and suck it.

Glance over between his legs. “
Make that hard for me. I want to see you play with it.
” Now go into full Jenna mode. Stroke faster. Pinch your nipples. Breathe hard. If you can, give yourself a big, glorious, shuddering climax. (And if you have to fake it, well, you’re in good company... I did, too! But Jenna says she got off for real. Lucky girl.)

Did he come? A lot of men would, watching their own private sex show. But if he hasn’t, it’s time for you to finish him off. Not with any fancy tricks or coy little licks, oh no — he’s way past that point now. What he needs is more of what he’s been doing, and every guy has his own particular way of doing it. Did you notice the stroke and the style he was using while he was enjoying your performance?
That’s
what you need to do now. Kneel in front of him and give him that same twist, that same pull, that same amount of friction. And when you take him in your mouth, be sure to give him that famous Jenna Jameson doe-eyed gaze; the look that says you’re enjoying his orgasm just as much as he is.

Now
that’s
how to make love like a porn star.

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C
OME ON, DON’T DENY IT,
I know you’ve read it (or want to). That titillating trilogy known as
Fifty Shades of Grey
. But let’s ask ourselves why we, our friends, and even our friends’ husbands, have fanatically read this fictional phenomenon. I believe there are a couple of reasons why we’re so intrigued. One is witnessing a character commit to the act of sexual surrender, giving complete control of their sexual pleasure to someone else. We also enjoy being voyeurs, and reading about a couple’s sex life is like peeking around their curtain and watching it unfold before us.

Obviously, the men in our lives find these two ideas appealing as well, which is why they sneak a peak through the pages when we’re on the phone or in the shower. And now you’re going to turn the tables on your man and let him experience what it’s really like to be Anastasia for the night...

Stop by the grocery store and get a short length of soft nylon rope (rope sales have been through the roof thanks to Fifty Shades of Grey). One day this week, hand your guy a knife and ask for his help cutting the rope in two. When he asks what it’s for, look him in the eye and tell him the truth. “
Oh, honey, I’m going to tie you up with it this weekend!
” Smile, kiss him on the cheek, and walk away, leaving him to ponder just how much you were kidding. (The correct answer is: not at all.)

Saturday night, tell him you have a few surprises for him, starting with a bath. Once he’s in the tub, bring a large pillow to him and put it next to the tub. Place a pair of boxer shorts and the two sections of rope on it, with a note that says
Put on the boxers and bring the rest to the bedroom
. Wow! Now he’s
really
starting to wonder how much you were kidding. (The answer is still the same.)

When he walks into the bedroom, he’ll see a sight that is at once stunning and slightly confusing. Two chairs sit in the middle of the floor, back to back, about three feet apart. Tell your man to hand you the ropes and then drop the pillow at your feet. Make him stand between the chairs. Take one rope and loop it around his wrist, then through the opening on the back of one chair. Tie a knot. Repeat with his other wrist.

He could escape, of course. But he won’t. He wants to see where this is going. More than that, he wants to surrender to you. And he won’t be sorry he did.

Kneel on the pillow in front of him. Drag your fingernails across the front of his boxers. Feel his package stirring underneath the fabric. Give him a gentle squeeze. Now press your cheek up against the beast hiding inside, and slowly slide your face from side to side. His penis is growing, pressing against the cloth, and when you take the tip of it and place it between your teeth, still wrapped in fabric, you’ll feel it twitch. Pull his underwear down, and once his erection is free, slide it into your mouth and work it, in and out, wet and hard. Take your time.

Stand up and turn around. Tease him with your bottom. Rub it against his crotch and then step away. Do it again, a few times. Make him tug on the ropes and shove his hips forward, as he tries to get closer to your body.