"We're stil in the busy season," he had argued.
"I don't real y care," I shrugged. "You can either sign off on it or fire me."
"You're over reacting."
"I'm under reacting, trust me. Are you going to sign it or not?"
"No. We're too busy, and today is not a casual day, so I suggest you go find something work-appropriate to wear." He went back to his work,
dismissing me.
I left his office, slamming the door behind me. Everyone looked up at me. I forced a smile and strol ed out of the office. When I didn't return that
day, Kyle sent me a text.
I signed off on your vacation, brat.
The next morning, I was standing in front of the family home in Louisiana, facing my mother, already ready to tape her mouth shut.
She stood on the porch, in a powder blue dress, wearing an apron and drying her hands on a dish towel. She looked as beautiful as ever,
which made me a little sick.
"Do you think you can prescribe me some valium?" I asked my brother-in-law, Eric, a successful ob-gyn in a nearby town. He was the one who
fetched me from the airport.
"If I have to deal with her drug-free, so do you." He carried my bags into the house.
"Come up here and give your mother a hug, girl."
Several children appeared out of nowhere, screaming and laughing. They were playing some kind of get away game, oblivious to the fact that I
was there, running around me, bumping into me and yel ing close to my ear.
"Hey!" Mom pointed at them with the dish towel. "Don't you kids see your Aunt Em trying to get into the damn house? Get the hel out of the
way."
The kids took off across the yard, several yel ing "get the hel out of the way!"
I didn't pay attention to whose kids they were. My family is enormous. I am one of five children, I have fourteen nieces and nephews with one on
the way, and some of my nieces and nephews have children. Then there were my mother's siblings and their kids and grandkids and great
grandkids, and various friends and their families that were adopted into our family, like my brother in-law Eric. His family and my family go way
back. Way, way back.
My mom and his mom were best friends growing up, despite what people thought about a white woman befriending a black woman. My oldest
sister Lucil e and Eric were born only a few days apart, started dating in their senior year in high school and married a year later. His family and
extended family became our family, and Lucy and Eric made a family of their own. And then there's Tabitha and Mayson's families from my dad's
side.
"Mom, stop cursing at the children," I said as I climbed the steps. I hugged her and planted a kiss on her cheek.
"I missed you, honey," she smiled, and held me at arm's length so she could check me out. "You put on a little weight, didn't ya."
Actual y, I had, and I didn't understand how or why. I was definitely thicker in the waist, but I didn't need my mom cal ing me out on it.
"What is that on your wrist?" My sister, Charlotte demanded as she stepped outside.
I mental y punched myself in the face for not taking off the bracelet Kyle gave me. I couldn't tel them he gave it to me and why. I'm sure they
wouldn't believe the "I fel down" story. I'm not even sure Mayson believed it, but I didn't have a good lie ready and both Charlotte and my mom were
staring me down, waiting for an answer.
"Kyle gave it to me," I sighed. Now my eldest sister Lucy and my two brothers Charlie and Emmet joined us on the porch. They al stared at me
as if I had lost my mind, and of course, it was possible.
"What on earth for?" Charlotte asked, sounding a lot like my mom, but my mom met my eyes and I already knew I was caught lying before I
started. But if she wasn't going to say anything now, I may as wel charge forward.
"I work my ass off, like
really
work my ass off." I said, which was true, but not true to the question asked.
"Didn't you say he was a dick?" Lucy asked, confused.
"Wel , I guess he was making up for that, too." I shrugged.
Lucy held up my arm, turning it back and forth, causing the bracelet to sparkle in the sunlight.
"Are those real diamonds? This thing must be worth thousands."
"Oh, for heaven's sake!" Mom snapped. "Can your sister get the hel in the house sometime
this year
?" She pushed Lucy out of the way and opened the door for me.
"Thanks," I said to her and stepped inside to greet more family.
I made a mental note to take off the bracelet, and soon.
I had a long day, traveling and then reacquainting myself with my family, meeting new babies and spouses and boyfriends and girlfriends. Eric's
mom, Al ie Mae and my mom made the best dinner I've had since my last visit, wel over a year ago. Even when I was past stuffed, I kept nibbling.
By the time I waddled to my bedroom, I was sleepy beyond al that was reasonable, but I've been that way for a couple of months. I was probably
burning out.
I lay in bed looking at the bracelet on my wrist, thinking about the night I got it.
I have something for you," Kyle had said the night the cast came off.
We were at The Cheesecake Factory for dinner. It was the first night in weeks that we were able to go out for more than a fast food run or diner
food. Work had been hectic and Jess had demanded more of his time.
Half way through dinner he slid a smal black, velvet box across the table. The box was a little too big to contain a ring, but for about six seconds
my hopes were up, and then I remembered the impossibility of such a thing happening anytime in the near future.
"What is it?" I asked, my hand on the box.
"Open it and see," he grinned.
Careful y, I picked it up and opened it. Inside, sat a bracelet of leaves in yel ow gold, white gold, and rose gold. On each of the yel ow and rose
leaves were at least a dozen and a half diamonds (I later looked up the price of the bracelet - it was more than my annual salary).
"Kyle, this is so beautiful," I breathed.
"I want you to know," he said, putting the bracelet on my now healed wrist. "That I wil never hurt you again."
I stared at my wrist. I should have been like "aww" but I didn't feel mushy like that. I knew he meant to make up for what he had done, that this
was an apology, but that's not how I took it.
"What's wrong?" He asked, reading my face.
"Every time I look at this, I'm going to be reminded that you broke my wrist." I didn't mean to say it, but the words fel out of my mouth anyway.
We sat there, staring at the jewelry on my wrist, the moment ruined.
"Wake up, sleepy head," my mom sang, waking me up from a solid sleep.
I peeked out from under my quilt. She was opening the curtains, letting sunshine in.
"I'm on vacation," I grumbled. "Let me sleep."
"It's nearly noon. Get up and make yourself useful."
"Sometimes I real y dislike you."
"I can say the same about you," she chuckled. "Get up, take a shower. I have a list for you."
It took me some time, but I was able to drag myself out of bed and into the shower. I had been in Louisiana for five days now, sleeping in daily,
relaxing more than I have in over a year. I haven't done an ounce of work for Sterling Corp, even though I brought my laptop in case I felt the need to
do something. I should have felt wel rested, but I stil felt run down, and for three nights straight, I couldn't sleep due to a series of anxious flutters in
my bel y. I didn't realize I was anxious about anything, but I suppose the body acts in mysterious ways sometimes.
Surely, it wasn't my lack of communication with Kyle. I spoke to him once a day, and since I was stil angry, that was al I needed.
After I was showered and dressed, I got my orders from my parents, snagged a few teenagers for help and took off in my mom's car. The days
leading up to Thanksgiving were always very busy. It was the biggest holiday for my family. Not only was the entire, enormous family present, but so
were co-workers, neighbors, friends, and a large group of people who couldn't afford a dinner of their own.
The event was held outside on the extensive grounds surrounding my parent's home (which was real y a mansion.) There were countless tables
and chairs, and even blankets spread out on the ground. Turkeys were roasted, smoked, and deep fried. Most years there was a whole pig
roasted, sometimes two. There were yams and potatoes, various greens and beans, potato salads, pasta salads, and macaroni and cheese.
Cranberry sauce, dressing, and various breads. The dessert list was even bigger.
Al of this took days to prep and everyone had to help, including my burned out self. Even with the kids' help, I was dragging. Before Eric left for
the night, I stopped him and pul ed him aside.
"I've been feeling total y run down lately," I explained quietly. My family was so nosey, I didn't want to share my personal issues with anyone else.
I told him everything I'd been experiencing and asked him if he could just check me out, maybe order some blood work.
"Friday morning, come to my office early, like around seven-thirty. We'l start with some basic stuff. It's probably nothing." He gave me a reassuring smile and I felt a little better.
Somehow I made it to and through Thanksgiving, tired as hel , but wel fed. I almost slept through my alarm Friday morning, but the urge to pee
was so strong I wasn't sure I was going to make it.
When I got to Eric's office, a receptionist had me fil out paperwork for my chart. When I offered my insurance cards, she waved them away,
stating that Eric said not to charge me, which was ridiculous because I could more than afford it.
I sat down in the waiting room. Only one other person was there, a very pregnant woman in a sundress and flip flops. Her eyes surreptitiously
fel on me a few times before she final y said something.
"Is this your first baby?"
"What?" I stared at her, confused.
"How far are you?"
"How far?" I turned my head like a confused puppy and then it dawned on me. "Oh! I'm not pregnant," I laughed. "Doctor Jonson is my brotherin-law."
"Oh," her eyes fel on my bel y fat. "I am so sorry for assuming..."
The nurse appeared in the doorway and cal ed me back. I gave the pregnant woman a smal smile and hurried after the nurse. She did my
vitals, asked me some questions, and then left me alone in the examination room to wait for Eric.
I hated going to the regular doctor, but especial y hated the gynecologist. Even though I knew Eric wasn't going near that area, just the sight of
the stirrups and anatomical y correct pictures on the wal was enough to unnerve me. By the time Eric came in, I was ready to run.
"Okay, Emmy," he sat down on a stool across from me and asked me to repeat my symptoms. He asked me about work and if I had anything,
besides my mother, in my personal life that could be a stressor.
I wasn't sure how to answer. My relationship with Kyle was always a point of stress for me, but I couldn't tel Eric that, could I?
"Am I protected under doctor patient confidentiality?" I asked.
"Absolutely. Anything you say to me may go in your chart, but I can't go tel Sam or Lucy or anyone else."
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath.
"I've been having an affair with my boss,"
"The dick?"
"Yeah, that's the one. It's been going on for almost a year I guess. He's had a serious girlfriend the entire time. My relationship with Luke ended
because of my relationship with Kyle. Would you say those are stressors?"
He ran a hand over his head, speechless for a moment. "I would say so," he answered final y.
"So the flutters could be anxiety and stress,"
"Possibly. We'l run a few tests to rule out other things," he stood up and took out a cup wrapped in plastic.
"You want me to pee in the cup."
"Yes, please, if you can."
"Ew, you're going to see my pee," I laughed and took the cup from him.
As it turned out, I had no trouble peeing. I returned minutes later and placed the cup on the counter. His nurse had returned.
"I wil be back in a little while," Eric said and left me alone with the nurse, who had nothing to say.
She hummed at the counter while testing my urine, for what, I didn't know. When she left, she took the tests with her. Eric didn't return for another
twenty minutes.
"Sorry, Em." He flipped open my chart. "Em, when did you say your last period was?"
"I don't know. A few months ago." I answered, growing nervous.
"Is that normal for you? To skip months at a time?"
"Since I was a kid, yeah. Why?"
"Are you on any kind of birth control?"
"When I remember, I take the pil . Why?" I asked again.
"Your pregnancy test -"
"Whoa!" I held up my hands. "You gave me a pregnancy test?"
"Yes, and it came back positive."
It was late afternoon when I pul ed up in front of the family house. I sat in the car a moment, counting. Again. I forced myself out of the car,
numbers flying through my head, and by the time I plopped down on a chair on the expansive porch, I had reached the same dates I had reached
the forty other times I counted that day. The door opened, and my mom stepped outside, the scents of a home cooked meal wafting out behind her.
“Where have you been? Eric said you left his office around ten.”
In response, my arm extended towards her, and my hand reluctantly and painful y unclutched the paper I was holding. I heard a sharp intake of
breath as she took in what she was holding. I couldn’t look at her, I could only look straight ahead at the yard, at the weeping wil ows swaying in the