All New Letters From a Nut (31 page)

Full text of the above letter to follow.

BEN GOO MARTIAL ARTS
1413 1/2 Kenneth Rd #193
Glendale, CA 91201

Administration
FEDERAL CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTION
YAZOO CITY
2225 Haley Barbour Parkway
Yzzoo City, MS 39194

Nov 26, 2009

Dear Yazoo City Prison:

I own a Mixed Martial Arts School where we teach the ancient fighting style of BEN GOO, a martial arts involving Judo, Karate, & Pinching.

As part of my “Afternoon Stress Program” i would like to come to your prison and put on a Ben Goo demonstration for your prisoners & guards. There will be kicking and grunting and Kung Foo, and some arm waving. We are in line with current MMA fighting rules.

Then i will give everyone in your prison a Swansons TV Dinner for your prisoners to enjoy. Includes turkey, cranberries, stuffing, cornbread, hot vegetable.

I have done this before and was only robbed once. We bring 22 fighting men for full Ben Goo martial arts demonstration which includes Jiu–Jitsu, kickboxing, grabbing. When can we schedule this and my Swansons gift? We are NOT Ben Gooey. That is not us. It is my privilege to entertain your staff and prisoners.

The School is under the direction of Roy Tonsil. A 5th degree Sansa Belt. He was a referee for 4 years. Then he was not.

Thank you,

F. D. Nancy

Full text of the above letter to follow.

December 9, 2009

F.D. Nancy
1413 1/2 Kenneth Road #193
Glendale, California 91201

Dear Mr. Nancy:

This is in response to your correspondence dated November 26, 2009, concerning your offer for members of your martial arts school to provide a demonstration for the inmates and staff at the Federal Correctional Complex, Yazoo City, Mississippi,

For security reasons, Federal Bureau of Prisons inmates are prohibited from demonstrating, practicing or using martial arts, boxing, wrestling or other forms of physical encounter. For this reason, I believe that a martial arts demonstration would send an inappropriate message to the inmate population. Therefore, I must decline your offer.

I trust you will understand my position on this matter.

Sincerely,

Full text of the above letter to follow.

BENJAMIN GOOEY KABUKI
1413 1/2 Kenneth Rd #193
Glendale, CA 91201

RECEIVED
Warden’s Office
JAN – 4 2010
FCC Yazoo City

Warden Bruce Pearson
FEDERAL CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTION
YAZOO CITY
2225 HALEY BARBOUR PARKWAY
YAZOO CITY, MS 39194

Jan 2, 2010

Dear Warden Pearson, Yazoo City Prison:

Thank you for your reply to my letter of a free show for your prisoners and guards. And yes, I totally understand your position of not allowing it. I am respectful.

I was wondring … as part of my “GIVE BACK AND FEEL GOOD PROGRAM” would your prison be interested in my theater presentation BENJAMIN GOOEY KABUKI?

This is a kabuki–mime demonstration including walking against the wind, stuck in a box, opening a window, getting in your face, pinching. It is a softer show, one that has dancing waters, windchimes, incense, and sprinkly rain. Kabukis and mimes dancing around for all is relaxing. I would put it on in your prison yard for all your prisoners and guards. We travel with 47 kabukis and mimes. (when available; have skeleton mime crew)

Everyone then gets a Chinese dinner takeout incl. shrimps, paper chicken, beef broccoli, tangy scallops. Please no substations. (when available; do have snacks if not available) Then as part of my DO GOOD FOR OTHERS PROGRAM i gift your entire prison with shoes. These are the popular Waitermelons. I just need everybody’s shoe size. (currently out of 8, 9, 9 1/2, & 10. I do have 11 extra narrow; all shoes when available)

I would be honored to put on this free show for Yazoo Prison, a city of which I hold the fondest memories of.

Respectfully,

Full text of the above letter to follow.

December 9, 2009

Ted L. Nancy
1413 1/2 Kenneth Road #193
Glendale, California 91201

Dear Mr. Nancy:

This is in response to your correspondence dated January 2, 2010, concerning your offer for members of your martial arts school to provide a demonstration for the inmates and staff at the Federal Correctional Complex, Yazoo City, Mississippi. You indicate that the presentation would be softer than your original offer to provide a fighting demonstration.

As mentioned previously, for security reasons, Federal Bureau of Prisons inmates are prohibited from demonstrating, practicing or using martial arts, boxing, wrestling or other forms of physical encounter. While I appreciate your offer, I continue to believe that a demonstration by individuals affiliated with a martial arts school would send an inappropriate message to the inmate population. Therefore, I must again decline your offer.

I trust you will understand my position on this matter.

Sincerely,