Diana in Search of Herself (79 page)

8
   “She was not ruled”: Ibid., p. 200

9
   “her belief [was] at times”: Ibid., p. 237

10
   “go through a transformation”: Sun, 8/24/92

11
   “willful and capable of … inner strength”: Rita Rogers,
From One World to Another
(1998), p. 246

12
   Diana believed she communicated …“nut”: B-AM1, pp. 65–66

13
   “deep emotional problems”: B-RK, p. 148

14
   “I think the most important thing”: ITV-Doc

15
   For four years, energy healer: B-RK, p. 148

16
   “truckloads of negative”: B-SS, p. 19

17
   “rarely met anyone”: Ibid., p. 18

18
   routinely fielded eight-hour phone calls: Ibid., p. 34

19
   “always seemed completely compos”: Ibid., p. 19

20
   Diana claimed to experience: B-AM1, p. 66

21
   “I know this sounds a bit”: Sun, 8/24/92

22
   she had been a nun: B-AM1, p. 243

23
   she told Penny Thornton: B-PT, p. 79

24
   She spoke of voices: B-AM1, pp. 34, 62

25
   “strange feeling … drop down”: Ibid., p. 29

26
   “visualize … burning it”: B-AM2, p. 14

27
   “take all the aggro”: Ibid.

28
   “so that they would be in different”: B-SS, p. 132

29
   “a peculiar mixture”: Interview with Kent Ravenscroft

30
   “helps me to keep calm”: B-RK, p. 148

31
   “she had reached a very low point”: SuEx, 7/5/92

32
   “an eating disorder which in Chinese”: DM, 2/24/98

33
   research studies have shown: WP, 10/13/98

34
   “just to tell me what she had”: Rogers, p. 241

35
   “Most of all … she needed”: Sun, 1/15/98

36
   “support and love”: Pano, p. 8

37
   “they weren’t aware”: Ibid.

38
   “created a new royal role”: DEx, 11/14/89

39
   “I want to feel I am needed”: SuTel, 9/7/97

40
   “the toughest battle of”: SuEx, 8/25/91

41
   “Diana was a good friend”: Interview with William Haseltine

42
   “She was very, very nervous”: Interview with Michael Adler

43
   “We hope if people see”: DEx, 1/10/87

44
   “Princess Diana should shake”: Mi, 1/29/87

45
   “It was highly programmed”: Interview with Michael Adler

46
   “I found myself being more”: Pano, p. 4

47
   “The caring princess has thrown”: To, 5/24/88

48
   “a cooler and more independent”: ST, 9/25/88

49
   “fully fledged emergence”: DM, 1/25/89

50
   “the line between recreational”: DM, 5/19/89

51
   250 engagements: DM, 6/10/89; Sun, 6/9/89

52
   “I say, ‘Did you see’ ”: B-AM1, p. 66

53
   “I would have an ongoing”: Interview with Michael Adler

54
   “fulfilled her public”: Interview with William Haseltine

55
   “I used to write her the most”: ITV-Doc

56
   In 1988, Diana began visiting: To, 11/30/88; DEx, 12/15/88; DM, 4/21/89

57
   “She was totally involved”: To, 5/24/89

58
   She even kept a copy: Sun, 4/16/91

59
   “Some people find it very”: DT, 6/17/89

60
   “was completely intuitive”: Sutel, 9/7/97

61
   “She did have a powerful”: Interview with Michael Adler

62
   “This morning I arrived”:
Requiem: Diana, Princess of Wales, 1961–1997: Memories and Tributes
(1997), edited by Brian MacArthur, p. 107

63
   “She often felt powerless”: Sun, 1/15/98

64
   “she knew exactly what”: Interview with Cosima Somerset

65
   “more open and more vulnerable”: Pano, p. 4

66
   “was declared a loser”: B-SF, p. 138

67
   “opened a vacancy”: Ibid., p. 137

68
   “appalling … crass, rude”: Ibid., p. 138

69
   
DUCHESS OF PORK!:
Ibid., p. 143

70
   when her father was caught: To, 5/23/88

71
   “as cozy and personal”: B-SF, p. 110

72
   Besides his £35,000 ($55,000) salary: B-SF, pp. 158–59

73
   Diana and Charles, on the: B-JD, pp. 614–15

74
   Fergie was amassing: B-SF, p. 159

75
   “gray men”: Ibid., p. 149

76
   “hopelessly erratic”: Ibid., p. 154

77
   In a conversation with her friend: Sun, 8/24/92

1
   Since they irritated: B-WB, pp. 86, 92–94, 107–9, 120

2
   “I was very bad about”: I-FSK

3
   “The media descended”: MOS, 3/9/97

4
   “You have seduced”: Sun, 11/9/88

5
   “sexy dance”: DM, 11/11/88

6
   “We got the balance”:
TV Times
, 11/11/89

7
   “triumphant tour”: SuPe, 11/13/88

8
   “disaster … all evening”: SuPe, 3/17/91 (The article’s byline was “Frances Cornwell,” one of James Whitaker’s pseudonyms.)

9
   “valiant front”: B-AP, p. 195

10
   “were sticking together”: TNY, 9/15/97

11
   “painful emotions and thoughts”: SuEx, 7/5/92

12
   “presence of Camilla”: Sun, 1/12/98

13
   “a voice inside me said”: B-AM1, p. 62

14
   “the most famous welfare”: Ti, 2/3/89

15
   
DI-VINE:
Gua, 2/13/89

16
   “hold her head high … having done her bit”: B-AP, p. 206

17
   “needled me the whole”: B-AM1, p. 62

18
   “as if we were all best”: Ibid., p. 63

19
   Diana said she realized she was “in the way”: Ibid.

20
   “It was … seven years’ pent-up … “I just said”: Ibid.

21
   “For a few weeks she would”: B-AP, p. 144

22
   She took Hewitt: Ibid., pp. 197–203

23
   Diana viewed it as abandonment: Ibid., p. 220

24
   “She loved with an everlasting”: Interview with Paul Johnson;
Memoirs of Cardinal de Retz
, Vol. 1, pp. 150–51

25
   “their respective love lives”: B-AM1, p. 188

26
   “secret late date”: SuPe, 10/29/89

27
   “It’s very hard”: To, 10/31/89

28
   “darling”: Descriptions of the Gilbey conversation are drawn from the transcript published on 8/24/92 in
The Sun
. The reference to “playing with yourself” was not included in the
Sun
transcription but appeared in B-JW, p. 89.

29
   “adulterous relationship”: Pano, p. 22

30
   It had none of Diana’s: Descriptions of the Camilla conversation are drawn from the transcript published on 1/17/93 in the
Sunday Mirror
.

31
   “Saint Diana”: DEx, 11/14/89

32
   “Faced with the horror”: SuMi, 11/5/89

33
   “turns a blind eye to”: DEx, 7/11/90

34
   “heat-wave hairstyle”: DS, 7/25/90

35
   Andrew Morton’s report: ST, 6/17/90

36
   “ill-informed”: ES, 6/26/90

37
   Diana sat by his bedside: DM, 6/30/90, 9/5/90

38
   “brushed aside”: B-PT, p. 76

39
   Camilla was a frequent: B-WB, pp. 125–26

40
   “snap out of the gloom”: To, 10/22/90

41
   “an affectionate accommodation”: ST, 9/23/90

42
   “blackmail-style notes”: NOTW, 8/30/92

43
   “I knew about Charles”: Interview with Max Hastings

44
   Over the Christmas holidays: B-WB, pp. 134–35

45
   “We went through the various”: Interview with Stuart Higgins

46
   “Patsy Chapman, the editor”: Interview with Andrew Knight

47
   “Diana certainly knew”: Interview with Stuart Higgins

48
   “someone very close”: Interview with Richard Kay

49
   Since Iraq’s invasion: B-WB, pp. 130, 136

50
   Throughout the autumn: B-AP, pp. 224, 253

51
   Diana began writing: Ibid., p. 235; DM, 4/2/98

52
   “long, flowing letters”: B-AP, pp. 235–36

53
   “finally trying to understand”: Ibid., p. 239

54
   “the truth about Charles and Camilla”: Ibid., p. 251

55
   Diana constantly vacillated: Ibid., p. 263

56
   “Something had to be done”: Ibid., p. 252

57
   “we first put the words”: B-SF, p. 187

58
   “cause for concern”: DM, 2/17/91, 2/25/91

59
   when he reached Diana: B-AP, p. 262

60
   his estranged girlfriend: SuMi, 3/17/91; ES, 7/2/91

61
   “Diana cannot afford”: Mi, 3/18/91

62
   When Hewitt returned: B-AP, pp. 270–71

63
   “rejected … used”: Ibid., p. 274

64
   “She simply stopped”: DEx, 9/3/98

65
   “glimpse of the old magic”: SuEx, 7/14/91

66
   “a united front”: SuMi, 4/28/91

67
   “I walked in”: Interview with William Reilly

68
   “very tense. The marriage was”: DM, 1/15/98

69
   “If Charles was off to see”: Interview with Andrew Neil

70
   “often has to act as”: DM, 4/4/91

71
   “Charles insists that his”: Mi, 4/13/91

72
   “depressed fracture”: Mi, 6/4/91

73
   At that point, Charles decided: B-JD, p. 576

74
   “bedside vigil”: Mi, 6/4/91

75
   “a fractured skull is not”: Sun, 6/5/91

76
   
PHANTOM FATHER:
DEx, 6/5/91

77
   
THE EXHAUSTED FACE OF A LOVING MOTHER:
To, 6/5/91

78
   Diana later told Morton: B-AM1, p. 179

79
   “horror and disbelief”: Ibid., p. 176

80
   shifting back and forth: These reports included DEx, 2/8/91, 2/9/91; DM, 3/12/91; Sun, 4/16/91; DM 4/17/91; Mi, 5/6/91

81
   “Since the Prince broke”: Sun, 5/20/91

82
   “He ignores me everywhere”: B-AM1, p. 57

83
   “It was an open secret”: Interview with Peter McKay

84
   “came back very excited”: Interview with Sue Douglas

85
   “Princess Diana is to spend”: DM, 6/28/91

86
   “That was straight PR”: Interview with Nigel Dempster

87
   “It was a well-bred lady’s”: Ibid.

88
   “growing coolness”: DM, 7/2/91

89
   “The sad truth”: Sun, 7/3/91

90
   “friendship with Hewitt”: ES, 7/2/91

91
   “finds Mrs. Parker Bowles”: DM, 7/18/91

92
   “supper for two”: Sun, 7/9/91

93
   “Charles and Diana’s summer”: ST, 7/7/91

94
   “I was told that both”: DT, 1/13/93

1
   “cozy supper”: DEx, 7/25/91

2
   “She thought she was a wise soul”: ITV-Doc

3
   “a huge amount of hostility”: ITV-Doc

4
   “everything was in her”: Interview with Roberto Devorik

5
   Diana told friends that she believed: DM, 1/15/98

6
   “the lid was being”: Interview with Andrew Morton

7
   “at the end of my tether”: Pano, p. 17

8
   “horrible sadness … the very worst time”:
Hello!
, 11/22/97

9
   “She was on the verge”: ST, 11/1/98

10
   “She was a woman scorned”: Interview with Andrew Roberts

11
   “Most people who knew her”: Interview with Andrew Morton

12
   she and Diana formed: Interview with Andrew Knight

13
   “Angela was very important”: Interview with Andrew Morton

14
   “conduit”: B-AM1, p. 14

15
   “nibbling around”: Interview with Andrew Morton

16
   “royal sniper”: DS, 12/1/82

17
   “It is just another indication”: NOTW, 5/4/86

18
   “I didn’t know about the bulimia”: Interview with Andrew Morton

19
   who was also a friend of Morton’s: B-PT, pp. 120–21

20
   By one account, Diana: B-RK, p. 146

21
   “She didn’t see him until late”: Interview with Andrew Morton

22
   “James was always with her”: Ibid.

23
   “confusion … that line”: Ibid.

24
   “The classic was the suicides”: Ibid.

25
   “breathless haste”: B-AM1, p. 17

26
   “hope for the best”: Ibid., p. 16

27
   “had doubts about her veracity”: Interview with Andrew Morton

28
   “secret friendship”: Ibid.

29
   “much to Diana’s annoyance”: Ibid.

30
   “She procured them because”: Ibid.

31
   Like Diana, Knight had been: Interview with Andrew Knight

32
   “Angela rang me”: Ibid.

33
   “Angela is a very private”: Interview with Andrew Morton

34
   “Yes, if [Diana] says”: Interview with Andrew Knight

35
   “She wants it in
The Sunday Times
”
:
Ibid.

36
   As the project advanced: Interview with Andrew Morton

37
   “Just remember we always”: B-AM1, p. 64