Diana in Search of Herself (77 page)

Read Diana in Search of Herself Online

Authors: Sally Bedell Smith

6
   “dark ages”: Ibid., p. 61

7
   “Her shape … was, to put”: Mi, 7/27/82

8
   “Diana fidgeted [and] whispered”: DEx, 7/27/82

9
   “a wistfulness about her”: Interview with Felicity Clark

10
   “excluded totally”: B-AM1, p. 46

11
   “endearingly human”: Mi, 9/20/82

12
   “exclusive statement”: SuEx, 8/14/82

13
   “rash” choice of words …“refused”: Sun, 8/16/82

14
   “very unkind”: NOTW, 8/15/82

15
   “cheap publicity”: DM, 8/16/82

16
   “deeply distressed”: Sun, 8/16/82

17
   at one point she went for three: B-AM1, p. 56

18
   “quite amusing”: Ibid., p. 57

19
   “she kept the bulimia”: Interview with Michael Colborne

20
   “disconcerting propensity”: B-JD, p. 398

21
   “continued to grow to the point”: Ibid., p. 399

22
   “Whatever happens, I will always”: B-AM1, p. 37

23
   Morton wrote that: Ibid., p. 139

24
   “had made virtually no contact”: B-JD, p. 480

25
   “I talked to her once a week”: Interview with Stuart Higgins

26
   Charles was reported to have: NOTW, 8/3/86

27
   By Diana’s later description: B-AM1, pp. 55–56, 133; Pano, pp. 7–8

28
   “We are now installed”: Mi, 1/18/99 (Diana letter 9/21/82 to unnamed recipient)

29
   “no one’s listening.… wanted to get better”: Pano, pp. 7–8

30
   “desperate cry for help … in my head”: B-AM1, p. 55

31
   “didn’t like … with the pressures”: Pano, p. 8

32
   Diana did later say that she had tried: B-AM1, p. 61

33
   According to a 1986 survey: A.R. Favazza and K. Conterio, “The Plight of Chronic Self-Mutilators,”
Community Mental Health Journal
(1988),24, pp. 22–30

34
   more often indicates: B-JK, p. 33

35
   One 1986 study of self-cutters: Op. Cit., Favazza and Conterio

36
   When self-injury occurs: B-JK, pp. 32, 34

37
   Diana enacted some of her: Pano, pp. 7–8

38
   “indifference pushed her”: B-AM1, p. 133

39
   “The trouble is one day”: B-JD, p. 401 (PC letter 10/10/82 to unnamed recipient)

40
   After Charles consulted: Ibid.

41
   On October 17, a week after: Ibid., p. 400

42
   “complaining and sulking … on the hop”: Mi, 10/18/82

43
   “bored to tears”: DS, 10/19/82

44
   “No one, but no one”: Mi, 11/15/82

45
   “out of his way whenever”: Ibid.

46
   later revealed by Whitaker: B-JW, p. 176

47
   “If … her shoes are cleaned”: Mi, 11/15/82

48
   “seriously concerned”: Sun, 11/15/82

49
   “fit and well”: Ti, DT, 11/16/82

50
   “inevitable stresses”: MOS, 11/21/82

51
   “sniper … wide”: DS, 12/1/82

52
   “new lease of enthusiasm”: DEx, 12/9/82

53
   “fiend.… forced him into this marriage”: DS, Sun, 12/11/82

54
   “I got it straight”: Interview with Nigel Dempster

55
   “the greatest howler”: NOTW, 12/12/82

56
   “near to tears much of the time”: NOTW, 1/23/83

57
   “nonsense”: DS, 2/3/83

58
   whose pattern of speaking: B-DK, p. 232

59
   She was hurt that the press: Interview with Michael Colborne

60
   “did take criticism hard”: B-AM1, p. 56

61
   “None of my family knew about”: Ibid., p. 54

62
   The public squabble between: Sun, 8/16/82

63
   “I am a firm believer in maternal”: DM, 6/24/82

64
   Johnnie Spencer told: Interview with Robert Spencer

65
   “I know the royals can appear”: Ti, 6/14/83

66
   “a close member of the Princess’s”: Mi, 11/16/82

67
   “She told me then”: Interview with James Whitaker

68
   “wonderfully solid”: B-AM1, p. 64

69
   “a woman to love and be cared for”: Carpenter, p. 223

70
   “had a lot to learn”: Strong, p. 317

71
   “Ruth was very distressed”: Carpenter, p. 223

CHAPTER 11

1
   “The great problem is”: Mi, 1/18/99 (PC letter 4/13/83 to unnamed recipient)

2
   Charles rarely left: DT, 4/2/83; B-JD, p. 401

3
   “nobody ever helped”: B-AM1, p. 49

4
   But in a letter to a friend: B-JD, pp. 402–3 (Diana letter 4/1/83 to unnamed recipient)

5
   Charles quickly intervened: Ti, 4/12/83

6
   She moved informally: B-DK, p. 233

7
   “She has a wonderful way”: Mi, 1/18/99 (PC letter 4/13/83 to unnamed recipient)

8
   “I’ll bet you have fun”: SuEx, 8/14/83

9
   “The Princess was plainly”:
The Observer
, 4/17/83

10
   After applauding his: DT, 4/2/83

11
   “You can’t tell a woman”: SuPe, 3/27/83

12
   “preserve my sanity”: B-JD, p. 402 (PC letter 4/4/83 to unnamed recipient)

13
   Sometimes they frightened: Ibid.

14
   “The terrifying part”: Ibid.

15
   “All you could hear was”: Pano, pp. 3–4

16
   In a letter to a friend: B-JD, p. 403 (Diana letter 4/1/83 to unnamed recipient)

17
   “jealous”: Pano, p. 4

18
   “took it out on [her]”: B-AM1, p. 49

19
   “I do feel desperate”: B-JD, p. 402 (PC letter 4/4/83 to unnamed recipient)

20
   Diana’s toughest moments: B-AM1, pp. 29, 143

21
   In a letter written: B-JD, p. 403 (Diana letter 4/1/83 to unnamed recipient)

22
   “We were extremely happy there”: Ibid., p. 401 (PC letter 4/26/83 to the van Cutsems)

23
   “his hand resting on hers”: B-DK, p. 241

24
   During a tree-planting: DS, 6/30/83

25
   “Isn’t she absolutely beautiful?”: DEx, 8/14/83

26
   At the end of the tour: B-DK, p. 241

27
   “Not a moment to breathe”: Mi, 1/18/99 (Diana letter 6/83 to unnamed recipient)

28
   “When trying to drag”: Ibid.

29
   “I haven’t missed William as much”: Ibid.

30
   “very witty”: Ti, 6/27/83

31
   “When they write something horrible”: DEx, 6/16/83

32
   “Prince Charles is largely”: Mi, 4/18/83

33
   “a big girl now”: DS, 6/30/83

34
   “different person”: Pano, p. 3

35
   She had been to at least: B-AM1, pp. 140–41

36
   She didn’t think her therapists: B-AM1, p. 55

37
   “her swings of mood continued”: B-JD, p. 406

38
   “hours comforting and reassuring”: NOTW, 10/23/83

39
   Diana made her first solo foreign: DEx, 2/2/84; NOTW, 2/12/84

40
   She became the patron: Ti, 12/28/83

41
   “my husband decided”: Pano, p. 12

42
   press reports made clear: DEx, 12/9/82; Mi, 11/7/83

43
   “The combination of style”: WO, 1/7/84

44
   “She was terribly keen”: Interview with Felicity Clark

45
   Early in the marriage: B-JD, pp. 359, 477

46
   She could sit for as long: B-WB, p. 24

47
   “queen of fashion”: SuPe, 3/4/84

48
   “visiting the very young”: Ti, 12/28/83

49
   “I think I’ve always been”: Pano, p. 13

50
   lasted less than six: DT, 10/20/98

51
   “She couldn’t understand”: Interview with Michael Colborne

52
   “understandable [Diana] would not”: B-SB, p. 235

53
   quite a few were pushed: B-JW, p. 193; DM, 5/27/83

54
   “made her feel nervous”: Sun, 3/29/82

55
   Diana would draw a staff: B-JD, p. 360

56
   he was disheartened: Ibid., p. 406

57
   “Certain friends had to go”:
McCall’s
, 10/84

58
   but Diana was equally adamant: B-JD, p. 406; DT, 10/20/98

59
   “Pass the port”: VF, 10/85

60
   or were simply against: B-JD, p. 399

61
   By one account, she turned: B-PJ2, p. 102

62
   Because of the awkwardness: B-JD, p. 406

63
   When Diana was once portrayed: DM, DS, 9/28/85

64
   “I haven’t felt well”: DEx, 3/24/84; SuTel, 12/30/84

65
   “It was a good year”: Interview with Michael Colborne

66
   Even with a nanny:
McCall’s
, 10/84

67
   “very energetically for about”: Ibid.

68
   “The Queen could not be”: Sun, 4/12/84

69
   Charles had his own busy: B-JD, pp. 407–13

70
   “within the shell of a normal”: Ibid., pp. 405–6

71
   Charles was known for: DT, 11/6/98

72
   “a lot of tiara functions”: Mi, 1/18/99 (Diana letter 6/83 to unnamed recipient)

73
   “occasional spelling”: B-MR, p. 89

74
   “What happened after”: B-SB, p. 146

75
   “amazing team”: interview with David Puttnam

76
   “They had strengths”: Ibid.

77
   “lingering look and quick kiss”: DEx, 7/30/84

78
   “leads conversations”: Sun, 4/12/84

79
   “It was clear the royal couple”: Andrew Neil,
Full Disclosure
(1997), p. 256

80
   “Then she got animated”: Interview with Andrew Neil

81
   She was jolted: DM, 8/21/84; DEx, 8/23/84

82
   “Can’t stand being away”: Mi, 1/18/99 (Diana letter 8/24/84 to unnamed recipient)

83
   Diana later said she and Charles: B-AM1, p. 51

84
   but she kept the sex of their child: Ibid.

85
   “hoping” for one: DEx, 3/24/84

86
   “would be nice”: Ti, 3/28/84

87
   never stopped seeing: B-JD, p. 399

88
   she actually agreed: Pano, p. 14

89
   “By then I knew he had gone”: B-AM1, p. 51

90
   “Oh God, it’s a boy”: Ibid.

CHAPTER 12

1
   “interludes of happiness”: B-JD, p. 406

2
   “Professional Diana-watchers”: SuTel, 12/30/84

3
   “in such good form”: SuMi, 2/3/85

4
   with Harry she continued: B-AM1, p. 53

5
   She rose early, took a daily swim: Ibid., p. 57

6
   “she sought to possess him”: B-JD, p. 367

7
   during the previous year’s: DS, 3/21/84

8
   rough and boring: Sun, 8/13/86

9
   antipathy that deepened: Sun, 7/17/84

10
   “very important to my physical”:
Polo
magazine, Jan/Feb 1998, p. 52

11
   After Harry’s birth, Diana asked: B-JD, pp. 434, 477

12
   Diana later said that Charles: B-AM1, p. 53

13
   When Charles came up: B-PJ2, p. 119

14
   “peak of royal productivity”: DEx, 1/23/85

15
   “are in no doubt that it is”: DEx, 1/10/85

16
   “so wet you could shoot”: DS, 1/10/85

17
   the resignation was: NYT
Magazine
, 2/21/88; B-JD, p. 434

18
   “I’ll get it in the neck”: DS, 1/25/85

19
   “dithering wimp”: DS, 2/24/85

20
   “the real ruler”: NOTW, 2/3/85

21
   “a thoroughly henpecked”: Sun, 2/4/85

22
   “prima donna”: Ibid.

23
   “great flights of human spirit”: DM, 4/27/85

24
   “more of a companion”: Ibid.

25
   Diana, however, was less than enthralled: B-JD, p. 431

26
   “Mind your head”: DM, 4/27/85

27
   he buried his insecurity: B-JD, p. 431

28
   “secondhand Rosa”: Jayne Fincher,
Diana: Portrait of a Princess
(1998), p. 84

29
   “unsophisticated”: DS, 4/23/85

30
   “heinous hats”: VF, 10/85

31
   indulged in ever-more daring: DS, 3/21/85; Sun, 3/27/85

32
   “the wrong way round”: Sun, 12/4/85

33
   “Being a princess, even if”: Ti, 4/23/85

34
   “She said, ‘Why don’t”: Interview with Roberto Devorik

35
   Colborne had been a solid support: B-JD, pp. 296, 435

36
   One day, when Charles: Interview with Michael Colborne

37
   “stress and disruption”: B-JD, pp. 434–35

38
   “To both of them, my”: Interview with Michael Colborne

39
   “catastrophe”: Strong, pp. 361–62

40
   “iron mouse”: VF, 10/85

41
   “nonsense”: Sun, 9/28/85

42
   “snobby
Vanity Fair

:
DS, 9/28/95

43
   “astonishing”: DM, 9/27/85

44
   “amazing”: Sun, 9/28/85

45
   “horrid”: DM, 9/28/85

46
   “ratbag of gossip”: Mi, 10/2/85

47
   “royal wimp”: NOTW, 9/29/85

48
   “ ‘The Mouse That Roared’ had”: Interview with Deidre Fernand

49
   “Oh, gosh … well … er”:
Newsweek
, 10/26/85

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