Doubt (The Connected Series Book 1) (29 page)

“Okay, let’s see if we can find out what is going on. Just sickness?” he asks, wheeling his chair closer to me.

“Yes, and I have been feeling a little lightheaded and dizzy.”

“Can I check your temperature and blood pressure?”

I nod, pulling off my jacket. Dr Renolds puts the cuff around my arm and sets the machine to start, the cuff beginning to fill with air, getting tighter. He pokes a thermometer into my ear, it bleeps within seconds.

“Temperature is fine.” he smiles. The cuff begins to deflate and beeps its result, “Blood pressure is too.” he scoots back to the computer screen, inputting the results.

“Is your stomach sore?” he asks looking up.

”Not really. Well, only from being sick.”

“Could you lie on the bed so I can feel?” I walk over to the bed and lie down, pulling up my t-shirt. He pushes down, happy when no part of my stomach hurts.

“Sophie, is there any chance you could be pregnant?” he washes his hands at the sink and takes a seat.

“I’m on the pill.” I reply, something like fear rushing through my body.

“Women have been known to get pregnant while on the pill... Have you taken a test?” I shake my head.

“Could you take one now for me? Just so we can rule it out?” I take the little pot he holds out to me. “Toilets are out of here on the left.

I walk out of the room, little pot in hand and into the toilet. I
can
’
t
be pregnant,
can
I? I do my business and carry the pot back to the room, hiding it from the people sitting in the waiting room.

“This should just take a minute.” Dr Renolds tells me, dipping a little stick into the container. I sit and wait with the feeling that time is standing still…..

“Sophie?” Dr Renolds is looking at me, holding the stick in his hand. “It is positive. You’re pregnant.” he gives me a weak smile, not sure if this news is welcome to me or not.

“I’m...
what
?” it’s all I can manage.

“You’re pregnant.” Dr Renolds repeats. I just sit there. Frozen.

“This is a shock, I’m sure.”

“Pregnant?” I whisper. “But...”

“It happens, more often than you think. It explains the sickness.” he taps away at his computer.

“I will make you an appointment to see the midwife and she will set up the date for a scan.”

Pregnant? Now?
He hands me a slip of paper,

“Here is the appointment and a prescription for some Folic Acid, which you need to start taking straight away,” I take them, not feeling them in my hands at all, “If the sickness gets unbearable, please some back. We can help with that.” he smiles at me.

“Thank you.” I stand up to leave.

“Sophie?” I turn back and face him, “If you need anything, advice, help, anything. Please do come back.”

I nod and walk out into the waiting room, filled with people who I suddenly feel, know what was said in there. I keep my head down and walk out. Only looking up when I get to my car. I unlock it and get in. I put my bag and the pieces of paper onto the passenger seat.

“How can I be pregnant?” I ask the empty car. I look down at my flat stomach, expecting to see what? A bump? I don’t know. I sit there, looking down when my phone starts ringing. I find it in my bag and see Doug’s face on the screen. I swipe my finger along the bottom to answer

“Hi.”

“Sophie, what did they say? Are you okay?” I don’t say anything.

“Sophie?” he sounds worried, “Abigail, wait a minute. No, finish your apple first, and then we can go see the penguins. Sophie? Are you still there?”

“Yes.” I whisper, not knowing how to tell him.

“So what did the doctor say? Are you okay?” I take a deep breath and blurt it out.

“I’m pregnant, Doug.” there is silence on the other end of the phone. I can’t even hear breathing.

“Doug?”

“You’re...”

“Yes. Dr Renolds did a test.”

“How far along…?”

“I can only be a couple of weeks. It must have been before we went away.”

“How are you... what do you…?”

“I honestly don’t know. I’m in shock right now; I’m on the pill, Doug.”

“I know...” silence.

“I’ll just see you at yours. Don’t spoil Abigail’s day, okay?” I hear Abigail’s voice in the background.

“I’ve finished, daddy!
Now
can we see the penguins? Pleeeeeeease?”

“Sure we can. Hold my hand. Sophie, we are almost done here, I won’t be long. We’ll talk when I get home okay?”

“Yes.... Doug..?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.” tears begin to fall.

“I love you Sophie. So much. It’s all going to be okay. I’ll be home soon. ”

“Okay.”

***

I don’t remember the drive to Doug’s. Before I know it, I am sitting in his huge lounge, looking out at London below me. I don’t know how I feel. I’m scared, happy and a bit more scared. Everything is so up in the air right now. Doug needs to focus on Abigail. I have so many big work commitments coming up. Can I do all this
and
have a baby? I dismiss the idea as soon as it enters my head, of course I could. Women do it all the time. What about Abigail? What will she think of it all? She has only just lost her mum and found out she had a daddy, now there was this to deal with. My head hurts.

Deciding to go and have a lie down, I fetch a glass of water from the kitchen and go lie down. Somewhere between thoughts of a bulging belly and Doug telling me, he had to put Abigail first, I fall asleep; my hand resting protectively over my stomach. I am woken by a warm hand on my stomach and warm breath on my neck.

“Hey,” I croak, my voice thick with sleep, “You’re back.”

“It would seem that way, yes. How are you feeling?” he laughs

I roll over onto my back, looking up at his face.

“A little sick. And a lot shocked.” his eyes drop to my tummy.

“Me too. It is a shock, I mean; I know women can get pregnant while on the pill... But you never expect it to happen to you, do you? Not that I... I am so happy.” he looks at me, with awe in his eyes, “We have a little one growing in here.” his hand rubs my tummy softly. I place my hand over his, meeting his eyes again.

“I’m worried about the timing….”

“I love you. We’re moving in together, what is wrong about that timing?”

“Well, what is Abigail going to say? She only just got you in her life, now there will be a baby needing your attention.” He sits up against the headboard, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

“We don’t have to tell her right away. We will work it out. Would it have been easier to wait a little while, till things are more settled? Sure, but I don’t ever want you to think I’m not anything but happy about this, Sophie. About
our
baby.” I nod,

“It happened pretty quickly after we got back together by the looks of things. This little one was with us on holiday and we never even knew.” I smile, patting my stomach.

“Amazing.” Doug breathes, dipping his head to press his lips to my stomach. “I can’t believe we made a baby.” I stroke his head, smiling.

“I know, I have my first midwife appointment next week, just to check everything over. Will you be able to come?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Doug smiles.

“We should go downstairs, Abigail wants to tell you all about the zoo.”

***

When we slip into bed later, I feel so happy I could burst.

“I’m so happy right now.” I tell Doug as he walks out of the bathroom.

“I know, life is pretty great right now. I have my daughter here and the love of my life is carrying our child.” He hand slips to my stomach and he kisses me, slowly at first but it builds and soon we are both panting.

“I want you.” I groan against his mouth.

“You have me.” he murmurs back. My hands slip inside his pyjama bottoms and find him ready, hot, thick and hard.

“You want me too.” he bows his head, pulling up my camisole, seeking out my nipple.

“Always.” The feeling is intense. Like nothing I have ever felt before.

“Can the pregnancy hormones kick in this quick?” I pant “That feels fucking amazing.” I feel his smile against my skin as he licks and sucks each nipple.

“Enough, Doug. I need to feel you inside me.” He hooks his fingers into my shorts and peels them down my legs. Slipping one finger inside me groans,

“So hot. So ready.”

“Yes! Please.” he climbs over my body and settles in between my legs.

“Is this okay... for the baby I mean?” he looks unsure.

“I think so... I mean... The doctor didn’t tell me not to...”

“I’ll be gentle.” he leans down, running his nose along my jaw. “You smell sensational Sophie.”

I hook my legs behind him, pulling him to me. He sinks slowly into me. Grinding his jaw as he does

“You’re so tight... Oh, Sophie.”

“Move Doug, I need you to move.” And he does, slowly, back and forth, teasing me, the delicious pressure building, building, building, before I tip over and explode around him, my inner muscles clenching around him.

“Oh god... I’m coming.” Doug thrust one final time before pouring himself into me.

“Are you okay?” he whispers.

“I couldn’t be better.”

***

Abigail comes bounding into our room the next morning, a happy, excited little bundle.

“What are we doing today?” she asks, sitting in-between us.

“Well, I have to go to work” I grumble, really not wanting to go. “I’m sorry.” I say looking at her face.

“But we can do lots of stuff together after, okay?”

“Okay.” she nods.

“So I thought we would go to the park, then stop off at the shops and get things to make a special dinner tonight, what do you think?” Doug looks at Abigail.

“Yes! Can I help?”

“Of course, I need you to help.” she seems pleased with this idea and jumps off the bed.

“I’m getting dressed!” she calls over her shoulder.

“I wish you didn’t have to go to work today.” Doug says, snuggling me.

“So do I, but this make up trial is important, this client and her wedding are important. It won’t take me too long.”

I peel myself away from Doug and go to hop in the shower. I grab a banana from the kitchen before I leave.

“I’ll see you both later. Behave yourselves.” I laugh.

“I can’t promise that!” Doug calls, making Abigail giggle.

***

“What do you think?” I ask Adele, holding the mirror up so she can see herself.

“
Wow
. I absolutely love it!” she squeals. “Can you come and do my make up
every
day?” she laughs.

“You don’t need it, you are naturally beautiful.” she shakes her head.

“I sure don’t feel it right now. My eyebrows fell off last week. Can you believe it? I lost my hair months ago, my eyebrows stayed, I was sure I was going to be lucky and keep them... but
noooooo!
Have you ever seen a Bride without eyebrows?” she looks into the mirror and frowns, “I look, like a freak!” I take the mirror from her and scowl at her.

“You do not look like a freak! You haven’t completely lost them. I’ve managed to make them look fuller with shading. No one will ever notice.”

“You’re right, you’re right. I just... this is
not
how I pictured my wedding to be like.” I take her hand and she looks at me, tears in her eyes.

“I know, no one does. But Adam loves you more than any man ever loved a woman. He wants to marry you and he doesn’t want to wait. You will take his breath away when you walk down that aisle in a six weeks time.”

“Thank you.” she gives me a watery smile.

“Do you want to see the photos of the hair I’ve chosen? Maggie is a
genius
!”

She pulls out her phone and begins scrolling through photos of herself in the most natural looking wig I have ever seen.

“She actually attaches the tiara to the hair, secures it in, so I don’t have to worry about it falling off.”

“I wouldn’t even know that wasn’t your hair. It looks so real.”

“I know, it will probably come off in the evening, they get so hot, and I plan to be dancing all night!”

“You will be the most beautiful bride there has ever been.”

We chat some more before I leave, Adele asks me to be a guest at her wedding and I am so overflowing with pregnancy hormones, I burst into tears.

“I would love to. Thank you.” I cry, taking the invite.

“I look forward to meeting this amazing man of yours.” I smile.

“He is pretty amazing.” she gushes.

“I’ll see you in a few weeks then? Call me if you need
anything
, okay?”

“I will.” she hugs me.

I enter the flat to the sounds of
Taylor Swift
and lots of laughing. I find Doug and Abigail in the kitchen, covered in flour and singing into wooden spoons. I lean against the wall watching them, my heart filled with love.

“I don’t about yoooou, but I’m feelin’ twenty twooooooo!” Doug sings, shaking his arse.

I think Abigail is going to explode she finds it so funny. Doug pulls the wooden spoon from his mouth and pats her little bottom with it, leaving a white flour mark on her jeans.

“Daddy!” she laughs, falling onto the floor and laughing so hard tears are rolling down her cheeks.

“I don’t know about YOU!” he sings louder, pointing his spoon at her, “BUT! I’m feelin’ TWENTY TWOOOOO!” He looks up then and spots me. I shake my head laughing along with Abigail.

“I did
not
know you knew the words to
Taylor Swift
!”I step into the kitchen, making my way to the fridge to get a drink.

“When you have had the song on repeat for the last hour, you can’t help but learn the words.” Doug grins.

“Have you had fun?”

“Yes! We are making you a chocolate cake.” Abigail smiles, getting up off the floor and wiping her hands down her tiny little apron.

“A chocolate cake? For me?” my eyes widen in delight.

“Yes. It will be ready in...” Doug looks at the timer on the oven, “twelve minutes.” he smiles.