Authors: Kerry Heavens
Danny
Wow, I thought I’d blown it for sure!
Olivia
Blown what?
Is she playing games with me, surely this isn't one-sided? It’s turned my life upside down, to the point where I’ve crossed the Atlantic, she can't be unaffected by this, can she?
Danny
I don’t know about you but talking to you has had a huge effect on me. I thought it would be easy, but…it’s not.
I send another message, explaining why I disappeared. Still she says nothing. I force myself to wait. A girl comes over to take my order. I order a coffee, purely so that I can sit here.
Olivia
It’s had a huge effect on me too.
Oh thank God! She’s typing again...
Olivia
I was OK you know. Then one message from you put me right back to that day. The day you left. I’ve realised I never got over it.
Shit, I didn't want to leave, why doesn't she see that? I wanted to stay and be with her. She pushed me to go. I certainly didn't think this would be the result of me contacting her again. I'm so confused.
Danny
I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just…I never got over it either. I had no idea you’d feel like this. I thought if I made contact after all this time, we could be friends.
Olivia
We have no choice; I just don’t know if I can do it.
No, no!
Danny
Please don’t give up.
Olivia
Give up on what?
Olivia is typing...
Olivia
There’s nothing to give up on. It doesn’t matter how we feel when we’re 5,000 miles apart. I can’t do this right now, I have to work.
Fuck! She’s coming and she seems really pissed. I sink lower in my booth and watch anxiously.
Suddenly, my heart is in my mouth, there she is! Fuck! She’s so beautiful. She’s completely changed, the Liv I left behind was attractive but not in the head-turningly sexy way that confronts me now. She isn’t a girl you could not notice; you can see even from a glance that she’s really different. She’s effortless. Her uniform of jeans, Converse and a hooded sweatshirt with the logo of the place on it would have you wanting to work here, especially if you got to look at her all day! I want to really take in all the details of her, but she moves so quickly.
She looks upset and I’ve caused it. It takes everything I have not to go to her. But I can't, I’m not her safe place anymore. I’ve caused this. She doesn't see me as she starts wiping tables. Her back is turned, but I can see the tension in her body, she’s mad as hell. I look at my cell and I know what to do.
Danny
It would help if I could see your face.
I watch as she pulls out her cell and reads it, her shoulders slump then she replies and puts her cell back in her pocket. Her message comes through.
Olivia
It would help if I could see yours, but I can’t. That’s my point!
This is my chance...
Danny
You could if you turned around…
I wait. She snatches her cell out...then she spins around.
Nine .
Danny.
Did you two ever…?
Fucking amazing sex is one thing, but fucking amazing sex with Liv is just…there are no words.
You can’t put into ordinary words what it feels like to want something so badly for half of your life and then when you get it, it’s more than you could’ve ever hoped for. Sex I realise, now, has just been sex with everyone else. This ‘thing’ that Liv and I have is something else. I don’t know if I can acknowledge what that means just yet, but I do know I’m in pretty serious fucking trouble!
After showering and reaching an agreement about eating in her restaurant, one I’m not entirely happy with since it’ll mean me not paying. I went back to the hotel to change. I was in and out in five minutes, desperate to get back to Liv. I enjoy the cooling air as I walk back. I’ve just had sex with Liv Harper…and it was out of this world.
I’ve fantasised about what it would be like to come back here and be with her again, although not for a long time, I couldn’t keep torturing myself. But even when I did, I couldn’t have imagined it would feel like this. It’s surreal, we haven’t talked yet and we have a mountain of stuff to deal with, but we are together and I can’t ask for more.
I want to stop at the store on the way back. I’ve used my only condom. I can’t just assume she’ll have some and I’m certainly not going to miss out.
I text Jen.
‘I’ve seen her, it’s going well! Going for dinner now. I’ll call you x’
At the store, I toy with the idea of buying Liv flowers, but convenience store flowers apparently suck wherever you are in the world. I make a mental note to find some nice ones tomorrow.
I arrive back at her place and push the buzzer.
“Hello?”
“Hey beautiful,” I respond and she releases the door.
She’s standing at the top of the stairs and I catch my breath. She looks incredible. I almost bolt up the stairs to get my hands on her, but I know I need to be a gentleman, I can’t tear her clothes off every time I lay eyes on her. As she makes her way down to me, I study her. She’s wearing a floor-length black dress and a leopard-print sweater. The thing I’m most drawn to is the red lipstick. It goes with her red shoes, but I know it’s just for me.
Girls only wear lipstick like that to get guys’ attention, according to Jen. If a girl has tried this trick on me before, I haven’t noticed. But right now, Liv has my attention. I hold my hand out. I want to kiss her, but I don’t want to smear that lipstick, I’d rather watch it on her mouth all night, thinking what it would look like smeared on parts of me…do we really need to go out? Breaking my thoughts, she reaches the bottom of the stairs and gives me her hand; I kiss it as I can’t kiss her beautiful lips. Yet. She stares at me. I’ve no idea what she’s thinking, but I just stare at those full red lips. I have to do something before I’m so hard I can’t walk straight.
“You look fabulous,” I manage. My voice must sound strained.
“Why thank you, so do you.”. She just stares at me., I have no idea what she’ is thinking, but I just stare at those lovely red lips. It is looking less and less like I will be able to stop myself jumping her right here when she speaks.
“Can I give you the tour?”
I’m relieved. I desperately want her, but it can’t be all about sex. We need more. More was all we had before, sex wasn’t important. Obviously it’s more appealing to us both now, but I want to get some of the old us back too. At least out in public we can make a start. Hoping to break the tension as soon as possible, I accept and open the door to the real world. I feel uncertain, so I hold her hand for comfort and when I do she seems to relax too.
She shows me around with passion and enthusiasm and I feel proud. She’s done all of this and she’s only twenty-nine. My girl has accomplished her dreams. My girl...I allow this concept to float through my mind. She was once, I wonder if she can be again?
She tells me about this Lucky sign on the wall. The owner of a bar I have been to many times in Venice Beach gave her it. She went there just before they closed down and the guy gave it to her. I’m speechless; I could have seen her there. I could have had this sooner. It’s like a one-in-a-million chance I know, but I kick myself for not drinking there more.
“Shall I show you the bar, or do you want to eat first?”
“Bar,” I reply, I don’t want to interrupt the flow with food. I follow her out of the front door, down a side entrance and into a garden of sorts, between the two buildings. Two doormen greet us and she looks sheepish, promising to behave herself tonight. I wonder what the deal is, just as she explains.
“I got a bit drunk, the other day…very out of character.”
I smirk,
that
I’d like to see. Inside, the bar is lively and it changes the charged atmosphere between us, we instantly become more relaxed. I’m seriously impressed. I would definitely be a regular here.
“Wow.” I murmur.
She looks pleased with herself and she should be. Liv leans closer and says, “Here comes Max.”
“Max?”
“Best friend,” Liv replies as he approaches.
I’m introduced to Max. The guy bear hugs me, taking me completely by surprise. Whatever their relationship, he’s certainly at ease with me.
“Great to finally meet you,” he says. “What would you like to drink?”
I can’t think of anything, my head is full of questions, so I look to Liv.
“Surprise me. Where are the restrooms?”
When I come back to them, Max beats a hasty retreat. Liv and I sit at the bar and before long we are handed our drinks. It’s strong and tastes like lime, I like it.
“Cheers” I toast, clinking glasses with Liv. She asks if I want to eat, but I just want to sit here with her. The diner is quieter and we both seem more relaxed. She says we can eat here though, so I agree. She goes to the back to place our order and as soon as she’s gone, Max approaches. Here we go.
“Did you tell Connie you’re here?” he asks. I’m taken aback by his knowledge of the situation.
“No, I came on a whim. Does Liv know she contacted me?”
He shakes his head and answers my next question with a look...she would be mad if she knew. We understand each other.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he smiles and then leaves me once again confused about what he is to Liv, just as she returns.
“So how long have you two known each other?” I ask, hoping to get a better idea.
“Since about two months after you left.”
“A long time then.” As he turns to fix some drinks I ask Liv, “So did you two ever…?”
“Max is married,” she replies with a wry smile.
Married? Okay, but that doesn't answer my question.
“But before that?”
“Married to a man!”
“Oh!” I look over at Max, How the hell does Jen do it? She called it from a photo! I see the ring now too. It all falls into place. I smile with relief. I know she’s not mine, but I feel better knowing this guy isn’t after her.
He starts asking me about my plans. He clearly wants information for his friend.
“Well I’ve no firm plans, but I’d like to think at least a couple of weeks, maybe more…I have an open ticket.” I should be saying this to Liv, but I avoided the subject earlier.
“Don’t you have to have a return date for immigration?” It’s funny, I could see myself doing this for Jen, so I appreciate where he’s coming from.
“Dual citizenship,” I explain. “My father’s British.”
“Oh okay, so you could live here if you wanted?” Wow. Don’t hold back buddy!
“Okay, that’s enough questions for you,” Liv interjects, trying to rescue me. “Sorry,” she whispers as he moves away laughing.
“No, it’s fine, he’s just looking out for you.”
When the food arrives, I realise I’m starving. I haven't eaten a proper meal in days and Max has already given us a second round of drinks, different ones. I tuck in and it’s delicious.
We talk about everything. Liv tells me how much Max has helped her and their relationship makes perfect sense to me now. Like Jen and me. We each needed to fill the chasm left by the other.
I’m stunned to hear that her dad passed away in Australia and Liv wasn't told until after the funeral. Who would do that? Then, in retrospect, I admit that the kind of women he was involved with strike me as selfish enough to bury a man without informing his children. Liv sweeps quickly past this, not wanting to give it space in our conversation. She’s very philosophical about it, I admire her for that.
She tells me about her relationships, which I find difficult to hear. Especially as the last guy cheated on her recently. She caught them, which makes me sick. Why would anyone do that to her? I want to inflict harm on this asshole and I will if I ever find him. She tells me that it made her realise she didn't really care for him that much after all. In fact she seems unsentimental about her past relationships in general, like me.
I tell her about mine, well the two that stuck for a while. I leave out the casual ones; she must have done the same. I was fooling around with someone until recently, but she was just a friend really and it was a convenience thing for both of us. I haven't talked to her in a while, which usually means she’s hooked up with someone else. There is no romance between us. But I don't tell Liv because it doesn't make me look great.
The drinks flow and so does the conversation. I tell her all about home and work. Max's husband arrives; he’s cool. We are in a similar line of work, but we can't get too into discussing it because the bar has filled up and live music starts. I watch Liv listening to the band. She looks happy and I reach out to stroke her leg. Just touching her sends my body into overdrive, I have to get a handle on this, I’m going to burn out pretty fast if we have to do it five times a day.
Speaking of burning out, I’m absolutely beat. But there’s no way I’m going back to that hotel, not while there is a chance I can stay here with her. In between songs, I pluck up the courage to ask Liv if I can stay. She nods with a grin.
Ten minutes later, we’ve said goodnight to Max and Charlie and are crossing the garden. I feel the need to stop her and pull her close.
“This…” I gesture at our surroundings, “is incredible! I’m so in awe of you.” I kiss her lightly. “Seriously, I can’t get over it; you are so incredible, so strong and sexy.”
“Stop it,” she insists.
“No,” I whisper as I lean in to kiss her. We kiss deeply for a moment, then she pulls away. At first I think something is wrong, but she drags me quickly into the diner and upstairs. It’s so swift that my blood is pumping hard by the time she opens her door. I push her against it as it closes, moaning as I find her breasts and mouth. My kiss is hurried and my hands are desperate with need. I almost lift her and take her here, but I stop. I need to control myself! We are both gasping for air. There’s a time and a place for sex like that, but after so long apart, we should take time and enjoy it.