Lost In Our Darkness (Demons Of Darkness Book 2) (7 page)

I wasn’t sure how I felt at the moment. That woman could have been a mother. I didn’t know. But what it came down to was she could have taken me away from my son and I wasn’t letting that happen. When we pulled back up to the clubhouse I was ready to just let loose. I needed a drink and a line and a fucking shower. I needed to rinse the blood off of me before I saw my son.

I hopped out of the van and followed everyone inside. Nix stopped me before I made it to the door. “Meet me in my office.”

I nodded and followed him inside. I went straight to the bar and asked for a bottle of whiskey. I hadn’t drank whiskey in a while but tonight I needed it.

“Stella.” I looked over at Nitro as I waited for the prospect to bring me the bottle. “Is that your blood or someone else’s?” I looked down at myself and realized that I was covered in blood. Dried blood but blood nonetheless.

“Not mine.” I gave him a reassuring smile and took the bottle and uncapped the lid and brought it to my lips.

“Good. Zaiden is asleep. He’ll be fine till the morning.”

“Thanks. I would give you a hug but, you know, I’m covered in blood and all.”

He shook his head as I walked past him—straight to Nix’s office.

I didn’t bother knocking. I just walked right in. Nix was sitting at his desk, feet kicked up on his desk as he smoked a cigarette.

I walked around his desk and leaned on the edge as I lifted the bottle to my lips again before handing the bottle over to him.

He looked up at me with hooded eyes as he took the bottle from me and took a swig.

“Trix,” he whispered.

“Nix.”

“What happened to us?”

I chuckled. “Me. That’s what happened, Nix. Me.”

“You plan on running again.”

“Nah. As much as I want to, it’s not worth it. I’m a paranoid fucking mess out there on my own. I ran because I thought it was for the best. I really thought that I could give Zaiden a fresh start by having him alone.” I took the bottle back from Nix and took a drink. “You know I think for the most part I was running from myself.”

“You always run from yourself Trix. That’s just you.”

“Well that’s nice that you knew that but it would have been helpful had you warned me before I did it again.”

“Wouldn’t have mattered. You still would have done what you did.” He paused. “You know Trix, I broke that promise I made you a long time ago.”

“I know.” I looked up at him, a tear escaping my eye. “I did too.” Our eyes locked as he stood up, his body blocking me as he leaned into me, trapping me with his hands. His lips parted as he brought his lips to mine. As much as I wanted to push him away I couldn’t. I couldn’t say no to him. He was my weakness. No matter how much I knew it was wrong. I kissed him back. Feelings I tried to keep from rising to the surface overtook me and I didn’t care anymore. I wanted him and he wanted me. Our clothes ended up in a pile on the floor as I sat on his desk, my arms around his shoulders as he slid in and out of me.

“Don’t leave me Trix,” he whispered into my ear.

“Never.” I moaned as I felt my own release coming.

“Promise me Trix. You’re mine.”

“I have always been yours Nix. Always.”

He pressed a kiss to my lips. We fit. I don’t know why but together we fit. Like two puzzle pieces. He continued to thrust into me. As I felt myself letting go, letting my orgasm take over my body, I stilled as he moaned and thrust harder into me, letting himself go. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him as he slid out of me. I needed a minute before I could move so I let him hold me.

Bang bang
. “NIX!” Someone pounded on the door yelling for Nix.

“Yeah.”

“It’s Zoelle, her water broke.”

And just like that I pushed him away. Fuck. I had forgotten about Zoelle. He cursed under his breath as he quickly pulled his clothes on. I jumped off the table and quickly put my clothes on.

“Don’t leave,” he growled as he walked to the door. I followed slowly behind him. Venom stood on the other side of the door glaring right at me.

I looked at the ground as I slid around him and past everyone who was too concerned with Zoelle to pay any attention to me as I walked past them to my old room to shower. The tears streamed down my cheeks as I slammed the bedroom door behind me. Fuck. What am I doing? I stripped off my blood-soaked clothes and turned on the shower, stepping into the hot stream of water. If only the water would wash away more than just my tears. I wished it would wash away Nix so that I didn’t keep doing this to myself. He was a married man and I was nothing but his baby’s momma. I wasn’t his anymore. I wasn’t his wife or his old lady. I was nothing. I let the water wash over me until my body stung from the hot water and I felt as if I was about to pass out. I turned the water off and wrapped myself up in a towel and crawled into bed. I just wanted to not feel. I opened the bedside drawer and pulled out the baggie of coke I had gotten from Nix a few nights ago and cut a fat line. I snorted it hoping to numb myself. Ten minutes later I wasn’t numb. I still felt him as if he was draped around me.

I couldn’t do this to myself—lie here and think of him. I dressed in a flannel and a pair of yoga pants. I needed that bottle of whiskey. I cut another line before heading out into the main room. Nitro was at the bar with Red. I walked over to them and sat down next to Nitro.

“Everything okay baby girl?” he asked as I leaned into him.

"I'm fine, just need a drink." He lifted his hand and motioned for the prospect who was tending the bar. "What ya drinking?"

     "Whiskey but I should probably stick to beer." The prospect handed me a beer and cracked the top for me. I took a sip. "Where’s my son?"

     "Asleep, Cheyenne is with him."

     "So what is this thing between you two?" I asked before I took a drink.

     "Just having some fun."

     "Yeah okay." I took another drink.

     "What's up with you and Payne?"

     "Just having some fun." I threw his answer right back at him. He laughed and took a drink from his glass of amber liquid.

     "Alright well as much fun as this has been I'm going to go watch some TV." I slid off the barstool and found a spot on an empty couch and picked up the television remote and started flipping through the channels. Payne sank down next to me. "Want some company?"

     "Sure." I continued to flip through the channels until the news caught my attention.

I turned up the volume.

     "A house fire claimed the lives of six adults this evening. Investigators are still looking for what caused the fire. Authorities say the victims are thirty-six-year-old  Jaden Wilson, his wife thirty-one-year-old Tamara Wilson, twenty-eight-year-old Deon White, twenty-nine-year-old Jamal Harris, thirty-two-year-old Kevin Smith, and thirty-nine-year-old Terrell Jones. All victims were known members or associates of Three Point Kings, a known gang in the area. It is unknown if this was an accident or if this was, in fact, gang related. Jaden and Tamara have four children together who were with family at the time of the accident."

She kept talking but I tuned out. Their faces stared back at me on the screen. Payne took the remote from my hand and changed the channel.

     "You okay."

     I nodded as he pulled me into him. He left the television on sports highlights as I spaced off. They had kids. I took parents away from innocent children. I did that. I grabbed the glass out of Payne’s hand and downed it. "Need a drink?" Again I nodded.

He got up to get me a drink. I pulled my legs up and curled into a fetal position. When Payne got back he sank back down on the couch next to me. I uncurled myself and took the drink from his hand. I took a long drink of the rum and leaned against him.

     "It hurts," she cried as I tried to keep her comfortable. "Get her out, Nix, please."

     "We're almost there. Hold on Zoe."

     "I can't Nix."

We pulled up to the hospital I looked over at Zoelle who was pale under the lights outside the entrance.

     “Zoelle.” I reached for her as her eyes closed. I held her to me and carried her through the emergency room door. I was met by a nurse with a wheelchair, thanks to Red who had called ahead. 

     “Sir, we need some information from you while they take her back.” I turned to the older lady who was holding out a clipboard with papers for me to fill out. I snatched it out of her hand and followed them as they pushed Zoelle, who looked as though she was about to pass out.

They got us into a room and everything seemed to happen at once.  They got her in a hospital gown and up on the bed, her legs in the stirrups. She looked over at me and her clammy hand held on to mine as they told her to push. Everything was happening so fast. They didn’t even have time for any pain medications. This baby was coming out now.

     “Okay, mom, just a few more pushes. I can see the head now. Ready one. Two. Three. Hold it. Good job. One more push.” I looked down as the doctor was lifting the baby. There was so much blood. The doctor handed over the baby and moved back to Zoelle. I looked over at her. Her eyes were closed and her skin was pale. I squeezed her hand but it was limp.

“Zoelle. Zoelle.” I called her name over and over waiting for her to react. The doctor and nurses were running around and more people came into the room. The baby was rushed out of the room.

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to take a step back please.” I looked at the doctor but I didn’t want to move from her side. The machines around her were beeping. I needed to find our baby. Where did they take her? I slowly let her hand slip from mine as I backed up and headed for the door. As soon as I was no longer in the room, I stopped the first nurse I could find.

“Where did you take my baby?” I growled.

She looked at me, her mouth hanging open. “Ahh well, sir, what room are you in?”

“That one.” I pointed back at the closed door. “5430.”

“Okay, sir, give me a minute.” She walked over to a computer. “Mother’s name?”      

“Zoelle Taylor.”

“And your name, sir, and relationship to Zoelle”

“Seanix Taylor, her husband,” I spit through gritted teeth.

“Okay, sir, they have baby Taylor in the NICU. It’s—”

I didn’t wait for directions, there were signs on the walls to point me there. I found the first sign and headed in that direction. It didn’t take me long to find the Neonatal Unit. I stood outside a wall of windows searching for a face I was sure I would recognize as soon as I laid my eyes on her. I wasn’t sure how long I stood there before a nurse approached me.

“Nix?” I turned to the girl. She looked familiar but I couldn’t place her.

“Lisa.” She smiled up at me as she said her name. Shit, this was Venom’s old lady’s little sister. “You look lost. Can I help you with something?”

“Yeah, my baby they brought—” She held up her finger cutting me off.

“Hold on Nix let me see what I can do.” She walked into the room and went up to the nurse who was standing outside of a clear box with a rainbow color of tubes going in all directions. She turned to me and smiled then walked back to me.

“Okay Nix, here’s the deal. You cannot go in there looking like you do. You’re covered in blood and who knows what else. So I am going to get you a pair of scrubs to change into and you’re going to take a shower, then you can come back and see your daughter.”

Chapter Ten

I woke up with arms wrapped around me, holding me in place, a warm body behind me. I was still dressed. This was different. I didn’t normally wake up next to someone wearing clothes. I turned in his arms and watched as Payne slept. He was beautiful. Sexy, sweet, caring—and I didn’t deserve him. For some reason though we were drawn to each other.

His eyes opened and we laid there staring at one another. “Morning beautiful,” he whispered as he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “How ya feeling?”