Love Reflection (Entwined Hearts #1) (24 page)

It feels like ages since I’ve been in this ring. I can smell the sweat, the blood, and the smoke from cigarettes that aren’t supposed to be allowed. I click my neck from side to side and warm up with the punching bag. As soon as my plane landed I knew I needed to come here. I went straight to my house. I’m glad I never rented it out while I was gone, opting instead to pay a fee for someone to check on it weekly to make sure it was secure. I ran into the house, threw my bags on the sofa, I could taste the staleness of the air in my mouth. So even though it’s November I opened all my upstairs windows, grabbed some joggers and a hoodie from my discarded suitcases, picked up my keys and phone and almost flew into my garage. I’d missed my baby, almost as much as Pea. I opened the garage door and took in the sight, black panels gleaming even in the dark, and the alloy wheels sparkling. I flicked the garage lights on and took in my Mercedes S65 AMG Coupe. She’s my baby and I’m not even sure I’d give her up for Pea.

When my mum died, I was left with nothing but bills. My pop was a no-show for most of my life, finally drifting completely off radar when I was about fourteen. I’d heard years ago that he’d died, but I’m not sure if that’s correct. I didn’t care then and I still don’t now. He only ever came back for something, usually money, which Mum stupidly gave him. She’d managed to run herself up a ton of bills, probably because she liked bingo a bit too much. I had to sell her house to pay her debt. Luckily, I only had to use about five thousand of my own money to completely clear the debt and another two thousand to pay for the funeral.

At the time, it nearly wiped me out and I had to live with Saul for a while. About six months after she passed, I had a letter come through, via Pea’s house. It seemed that my grandparents on my mum’s side, who I don’t remember as they passed when I was a toddler, had money. They’d apparently left it to me in some kind of trust fund. When I hit twenty-five, a letter was automatically sent to Pea’s address. In the letter, it was explained that my mum had this put in place in case she wasn’t around when my birthday arrived. She had a note placed in with the letter explaining that she’d been left money by her parents and they had also left a trust fund for me. In the note, she said, “I know you’ll never be without Pea. She’s your anchor.”

She’d spent her money years before apparently, flitting it away on gambling. The house we lived in was originally my grandparents so there was no mortgage. I never knew how much money she was given, but I had a little under five hundred thousand which I’d immediately put into a high-interest account.

Huh… I had thought it was best to put it away until I decided what to do with it. I guess at first I’d hoped that maybe it would set Pea and I up. I knew she’d always live at her gran's house. She loves it, but I thought that money would let her decorate to her heart’s content. We could get married and have holidays, kids. But after a while I gave up and decided to buy what I needed.

The house I bought was a new build. I don’t like it, but I know when I come to sell it that I will have made a profit. I hope to someday live with Pea in her house and make a family.

Fuck that! Not hope, I
will
someday live with her.

The only thing I’d bought that I’d dreamed of having since being a kid was a car. It was a ridiculous expense. A little under two hundred thousand, so with the cost of the house, I had mere pennies in comparison to what I had before, but I didn’t care. I love this car.

I jump in her and drive around London for a while until I finally turn her in the direction of Murphy’s gym. This place isn’t your typical gym, it’s not a place for a lady, although I know a few women who come here. But they come here to box, not to look pretty on the treadmill. I learnt to box in this place when I was really young, and then moved onto kickboxing when I was about eighteen. I’ve always loved them both and I’m not too shabby at them either. I’ve had a fair few fights in this ring both controlled and feral.

Paddy, the owner, ambles over to me. “Connor lad, I haven’t seen you in a while,” he comments in a gruff northern Irish accent while leaning heavily on a walking stick he doesn’t need.

I grab my towel and wipe the sweat from my face while answering him, “Sorry Paddy, I’ve been in New York working.”

“New York, too good for the likes of us then boy,” he winks and chuckles.

“Naa Paddy, never,” I answer with a grin then add, “I had to go to a titty gym.” I watch as his eyes bug out and I laugh. He calls the modern day gym a titty gym because of what the women wear, and he doesn’t think the men are ‘real men,’ he thinks they are posers or imposters. I can’t say I entirely disagree. Most of those men would be eaten up and spat out within about thirty minutes in this place.

“Did you enjoy it… the titty gym?” he asks.

“Fuck no!” I answer and he smiles and slaps me on the back. “Right answer lad.”

“I better get back to it Paddy or I’ll start getting stiff.”

He looks around and rubs his chin. “Well now, seeing as you’re here I could do with your help.”

“Oh yeah?” I reply.

“I have a new lad, he’s twenty-two, getting real good at kickboxing, nearly at your level.” He sighs. “I wish you’d gone pro.” He looks away and shakes his head. I just roll my eyes, this is our usual banter back and forth, I never wanted to go anywhere with kickboxing I always just enjoyed the release it gave me.

“Anyway,” he continues, “I need someone that can stand with him in the ring. He’s good mind you.”

“Okay, I don’t mind you using me as a punching bag, Paddy. When?”

“Now would be good.” And with that he turns and puts his thumb and forefinger in his mouth and whistles. As usual everyone in the place stops what they’re doing to see who he’s looking at and, therefore, who he wants. Within seconds, a pair of dark eyes have locked onto him and everyone else goes about their business. A guy about two inches shorter than me with a blonde buzz cut jogs over.

“Paddy?” he asks.

“Alex, this is Conner McKenna.” The guy’s eyes widen.

“So you’re the famous Conner McKenna,” he says and chuckles. “This guy never stops talking about you,” he says gesturing with his thumb to Paddy.

“Nice to meet you, Alex,” I say with a chin lift.

“Alex, I want you to go in the ring with Conner,” he says to Alex.

“Fuck yeah!” Alex replies which surprises me. He must see my frown.

“Sorry man, it’s just if you’re as good as they say you are, then it will be an honour. Anyway I need to keep fresh and learn, the only way I’ll learn is to go against people who are better than me.”

I throw my head back and laugh. “I take it, he’s still drilling that shit into people then,” I say shaking my head. This gets me a smack across my shins with Paddy’s walking stick.

“Shut up you, I may be old, but I’ll still kick your arse,” he says.

“Yes sir,” I reply trying to stifle a laugh while rubbing my now sore shin. I catch Alex’s eyes and can see he’s trying not to laugh too.

“Suit up, both of you and get in the ring… five minutes.”

Alex and I head off in different directions to do what we need to do. I need to change into shorts, luckily I have a locker that belongs to me so I have spare stuff in there. Once I’ve changed and Paddy has forced us both to get into head gear, we move into the ring.

It’s strange, when I get into the ring it’s like something takes over me, something completely animal. It switches off all my other emotion and focuses my mind.

We slowly move around the ring, Alex takes a few jabs at me, but nothing makes contact. I bide my time, waiting to see how he moves, how he leans, where his weakness is, where the opening is. Within a few minutes, I see that he places his leg back a bit too much and drops his left hand too much when he jabs.

The next jab he lands on my chin, but I’m ready with a cross counter punch and strike him hard whilst sweeping his legs, which lands him on the floor. Paddy starts shouting at him, but I’ve tuned out. Twenty minutes later and Paddy calls it to an end. The kid’s good, I’ll give Paddy my feedback later. But he still has stuff to learn.

“I see you haven’t lost your touch lad,” Paddy says to me.

“I practice with Saul.”

“Ahhh,” is all he says. He knows we’ve both been training for years.

“Thanks for sparing with me, Conner,” Alex says from my side.

“Anytime man, you need to learn a couple of things, but I think you’ll end up a lot better than me with time.”

Alex shakes his head. “Not sure about that man, but I’m gonna try.”

I nod at him then point to the ring while looking at Paddy. “Is the ring free for a while? I want to stretch with some moves on my own.”

He knows this is my way. It’s what I do.

“Have at it lad,” he says while walking away mumbling and gesturing with his arms to Alex. I smile and get back in the ring.

I used to come here to air my frustration with Pea. The fact that I couldn’t get her back, the fact that no matter how many women I fucked, they were always shadows compared to her light.

Now I’m in the ring with determination, knowing tonight I’m going to upset her peaceful existence. I’m going to take what belongs to me. I’m going to rock her world and then make her live in mine.

This time there is no going back!

I’m pacing and biting my nails, something I haven’t done since I was a teen.

“Stop,” Dane says.

“I can’t, they’ll be here any minute,” I snip to him.

He sighs. “I know that, I’m the one who should be worried, if anyone.”

My eyes dart to him. “Why you? This is my secret too and they’re my family.”

His face softens. “I know sunshine, just calm down, they love you whatever, they always have and they always will.”

I know he’s right and I need to get a grip. The truth is I’m more concerned about how Saul is going to react to Dane.

I hear Soph’s key in the lock and I start, Dane just shakes his head at me and smiles.

The door opens then I catch low murmuring sounds more like arguing between Soph and Saul and I sigh, knowing those two this will turn into the Soph and Saul show at some point if I let them.

When they walk into the lounge, Saul looks over to Dane and chin lifts him.

“Dane,” he says.

Dane does exactly the same thing. “Saul.”

I almost want to giggle. I stare at them both and notice the similarities. The same complexion, almost the same hair colour, the angles of their cheeks and chin as well as their physique. It’s quite astounding. But Dane has my eyes and lashes. Saul sports piercing blue eyes from his dad.

Saul looks my way and his blank expression changes to warmth as he smiles at me then walks over and hugs me.

“Hey, baby girl, you okay?” he asks pulling back to look in my eyes.

Gah! He’s doing that thing where he looks at me to get a read on what I’m thinking.

“Fine,” I answer dismissing him and spinning round to go to the kitchen.

“Can you all go into the dining room and sit and I’ll bring the food out,” I say.

“Oooh, I’ll come with,” Soph pipes up.

The door to the kitchen barely closes when Soph says, “Spill.”

I look over at her with what I hope looks like an, ‘I have no idea what you mean’ face, but probably looks more like a, ‘please don’t beat me’ face by the way Soph pulls in her eyebrows at me.

“Okay, Soph listen, everything will be explained at dinner.”

“You’ve been giving me this crap for days, Pea! You said when you got home from Dane’s you would tell me. That was Monday. It’s now Friday! This is bad. Friendship rules are there for a reason and this is you breaking them at its worst,” she moans.

“I’m sorry, Soph… love youuu,” I say while pouting.

“Pfft,” she says then wanders into the dining room while grabbing bowls of food on her way through. I pinch my lips between my teeth while trying not to laugh. When I finally get back to the table, I can feel the tension in the air, even Soph is stiff.

“You can dig in whenever you want guys,” I say shakily.

Everyone starts moving at the same time and while there’s so much noise with the clanking of plates and cutlery, it’s still eerily quiet with nobody talking, so I try to make small talk.

“So Soph, have you been out with anyone lately?” I ask.

Both Saul and Dane pause what they’re doing to stare at her. I can see that makes her feel unsettled and I wish the ground would swallow me whole for asking that question. Even though a month ago it wouldn’t have been such an awkward question.

“No, not lately. I’ll probably start going out again soon. You can come with me,” she says with pleading eyes.

I nod. “Of course, we can have a girlie night out.”

Dane injects. “I can always come, you know, to make sure you’re both safe.” I roll my eyes then Saul adds, “I can come too, you know, I’ve always looked after you two.”

“There isn’t much point to a girl’s night out with you two tagging along,” I point out, which gets me glares from them both. I look to Soph and widen my eyes while she’s trying not to laugh.

“Yeah, we don’t want you two coming along. You cramp our style,” she says and winks at me.

“It’s not like either of you are on the pull for men anyway, right?” Dane asks, but it feels more like he’s telling us.

“Well no. I mean, I haven’t thought about it… you know… since… ” Soph says, her voice cracking.

“You don’t need anyone Soph, except the people you’ve always had,” says Saul and I feel like it’s a dig at Dane.

Dane just glares at Saul. “Good job you’ve known me for years too then, Soph,” he says addressing Soph, but staring at Saul and Saul glares right back.

“Yeah, known you for years. It’s not like you weren’t always good to her, right? Not like you discarded her like a used tissue,” Saul fires back.

“Enough!” I shout and they both shut up and turn their glares at me while Soph’s head is bowed and her shoulders are hunched over.

“Do not talk about her like she isn’t here. She’s not a prize for you to compete over. I wanted tonight to be special. I wanted it to be something I will remember and not for the wrong reasons. I’ve had it up to here,” I say putting my hand on the top of my head. “I have something to tell you Saul and I wanted you here, so I could tell you. It’s kind of Dane’s story too, but I wanted it to come from me. Now seeing as dinner is effectively ruined by you two children, let’s move into the lounge,” I say and grab Soph’s hand pulling her with me to the other room.

As we’re walking she leans into me and whispers, “That was bad-arse, you rock lady!” I look round at her to see she’s smiling. “I forgot what you’re like when you don’t have a cloud over you. Remind me never to piss you off,” she says with a wink.

When everyone is seated, the guys very obviously trying to keep the glares off their faces. I take a deep breath and begin.

“Okay, so there’s no easy way to say this, so I’m going to tell you then between Dane and myself we will explain,” I say while they look at me with confused looks, except Dane who looks at me lovingly.

“Oh my God!” Soph says slapping her hand over her mouth. “I thought you didn’t have any romantic feelings toward him,” she says looking between us.

“I don’t,” I reply and am about to carry on and chastise her for butting in when Dane pipes up, “You wanted to know if she had romantic feelings for me? Why would you want to know that?” The whole time Saul is glaring at Dane, but I can see the hurt in his eyes and I know why.

“It’s not… I didn’t… I mean, it’s not like it sounds,” she says and crosses her arms over herself while Saul says, “Obviously, she didn’t mean anything by it, except for worrying about Con’s feelings.” Dane glares at him and they all start bickering and I can’t get a word in, so I shout,
“Dane is my brother!”

They all shutup, then Saul and Soph start speaking at the same time.

“What? How?” Soph asks.

“How long have you known? Who else knows?” Saul asks.

“Calm the fuck down, you’re giving me a headache,” I say rubbing my temples.

“Right, listen, Dane and I have the same dad. Dane found out a while ago and told Gran, they were going to tell me but then she died so he didn’t get a chance. He stayed away to consider what he should do as he didn’t want to upset my life, but then saw I was spiralling downwards so he found a way back into my life. He told me on Monday and nobody else knows,” I get out the condensed version quick before they all start talking again.

Saul's eyes are working which means his brain is too. “Why didn’t you tell us on Monday then?”

I sigh and see Dane go to open his mouth and explain, but the hostile way they’ve been toward each other tonight I decide it’s better that it comes from me, so I hold my hand up to Dane.

“Let me,” I say and he nods, although I can see his jaw is stiff so he obviously isn’t happy that the burden is on me.

“The reason we didn’t mention it straight away is because it’s not simple. You see, while Dane is my brother by father, he is your brother too… by mother,” I say looking at Saul.

Saul doesn’t realise what I’m saying at first, then he jumps out of his seat. “What the fuck!” he shouts.

“Calm down, Saul,” I say while standing in front of a now standing Dane.

Soph doesn’t help when she sticks her thoughts in. “Oh yeah, I can totally see the family resemblance,” she says looking between the two men. I slap my hand over my face.

“Saul, sit down, let Dane explain.” Soph pulls Saul’s arm and he sits next to her while I make Dane sit next to me. Dane explains everything to Saul and although I can see Saul visibly relax where Dane is concerned, I can also see the coldness in his eyes whenever his mother is mentioned.

The air is tense as Dane is completely honest with Saul and a few times Saul freaks out, but Soph keeps her hand on his leg which seems to calm him. However, I notice Dane look at her hand a number of times and I know the next few months are going to be interesting.

After everything is out in the open Saul hangs his head. “I knew she was a bitch, a cold bitch. She always has been. I didn’t think she was capable of this,” he says with his head still hanging down.

Dane brought some paperwork for proof. I never doubted him, but I guess it makes sense for him to give them to Saul. I guess he may have thought the story was fabricated, however farfetched that seems to me.

“Honestly… I don’t think I would’ve ever told you if you weren’t so close to Pea. I mean I wanted family, but I guess… well… I never really liked you. Sorry bro.”

I see Saul jerk at the bro comment. Con is the only person to say that to him usually, although I don’t think Dane even realises he’s said it.

“I was jealous of you when I found out, have been until recently, when I found out from Pea what a class A bitch she is.”

I look over at Saul, who’s listening to everything and taking it all in.

“Sorry,” I say and he shakes his head.

“No point being sorry, Pea, it’s the truth. Far as I can see you’re just stating facts. Better he knows now, so he can be prepared before seeing her.”

It’s Danes turn to jerk. “I ain’t ever going to see her. I’m not interested. All I want is a family and maybe you and I can build something here, but if not that’s fine, I respect that. Just know I’ll always be in Pea’s life, she’s all I need. I love her.” He wraps his arm around me and gives me a squeeze.

“I love you too,” I say and smile. I’m glad that some secrets are finally being aired.

“Now we just need to tell, Con,” I say.

“Tell Con what?” I hear from the lounge door and my head snaps up to see Con standing in the doorway, black jeans, boots and a dark green Henley. He has his legs slightly apart and standing firm with his arms crossed, which means I can see the defined outline of his muscles. He fills my doorway and he looks divine. He also looks pretty fucked off and has his eyes narrowed on Dane’s arm around my shoulders.

All at once everyone starts speaking. I hear words like, sister, back, and how long. But I tune out, it’s all like white noise, everything around me is blurry and like a dream. All I see is
him.
I can’t unlock my gaze and apparently neither can he. He doesn’t move, and I’m not sure whether it’s because he hasn’t heard that Dane’s my brother or because he doesn’t know what to do. My body, however, seems to know exactly what to do. I find it’s moving forward of its own accord.

I can’t hear anything now. Maybe everyone has gone quiet, or maybe I’ve drowned them out. I don’t care. I just see him. When I get to him, I stop and look up. His forest green eyes are swirling with emotion and I study his face, the face I’ve missed so much.