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I had forgotten about my 1:30 appointment until I happened to glance at the clock above the fountain. It

was already 1:40.

“I’ve got to run, John. I was supposed to meet a client at the office ten minutes ago. But I want to pursue this

more. Can I get a number where I can reach you?”

“I don’t have a number to give you, Jake. I move around too much to have a phone.”

“Email?”

“No, sorry!” He shrugged his shoulders.

“You want me to trust Father with that too?”

“He’s been pretty good about it so far, hasn’t he?” John said with a wink. I smiled, resigned to his

conclusion. “Then why don’t we just leave it there?”

“But I’d love for you to come and share with our house church sometime. I’ve told them about some of our

conversations, and they would love to meet you.”

“I’d love to come sometime. When do you meet?”

“Sunday nights usually. Could you come this week?”

“No, I won’t be in town through the weekend. Let me decide on a time and give you a call,” John answered.

I handed him one of my business cards. “I’m sorry I’ve got to run. But please call me.” I heard him say he

would as I turned away toward the parking lot.

As I did a flash of red caught my eye. It was Diane walking out of Sears holding the arm of a man pushing a

stroller. He was the same man I’d seen with John earlier. She smiled into his eyes as she hugged his arm

and I was left wondering what that was all about.

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A Box By Any Other Name…

“So you really think this John was one of the original disciples?” Ben asked leaning over the couch.

“Who told you that?” I asked, turning from the window and looking back into the room.

Ben turned toward my wife, Laurie, who waved me off with a smile. “That’s what you used to think.”

“Now that just sounds a bit preposterous, doesn’t it?” Ben looked back at me with a smirk. We had led a

home group together while I was at City Center. He sought me out after I was fired to start this house

church. He was a good-natured tease and he didn’t need any further ammunition from me.

“I agree it does, but you would have had to have been there when I met him. It was a bit strange. Later I

thought of Jesus telling Peter that he shouldn’t compare himself with John, even if he let him live until Jesus

came again. I sort of put two and two together...”

“And got seventeen,” Ben said exploding in laughter as did others in the room. There were nearly twenty of

us waiting for John to arrive. Some were sitting about the front room while others were busy in the kitchen

and carrying dishes to the patio where we were setting up our potluck. John called me three days ago, told

me he was going to be in town and asked if he could visit our group.

“What do you think about him now?”

“To be honest, figuring that out has become far less important to me. Whoever he is, I’m convinced he

knows the Father I want to know and follows the Jesus I want to follow. He has helped me live the things

that have burned in my heart for years.” This group already knew about my conversations with John since

they had come up often in our times together. They were excited to finally meet him and I was a bit

concerned they wouldn’t be as impressed with him as I was.

“But I think it’s better if we don’t bring all that up,” I pleaded. “He’s bringing some others with him and I

don’t want to embarrass him.”

“Who’s he bringing?” asked Ben’s wife, Marsha, whose home we were in.

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“He didn’t say and I figured the more the merrier.”

The sound of a car door slamming drew my eyes back to the street. “He’s here,” I said. “And it looks like he

has a young couple with him. They’re getting a baby out of the back seat.”

“And we don’t have any other kids here…” Marsha said with a bit of disappointment. “We should have let

the kids come.” We had decided to get baby sitters this evening and I had never thought to tell John.

Word of his arrival spread quickly and more people wandered into the front room. John waved to me

through the window. I looked behind him and saw Diane and the man who had been with John when I

met him in the mall. Why did he bring them?

Ben opened the door as they approached and before I could get there, John stuck out his hand. “I’m John

and these are a couple of friends of mine. This is Jeremy, his wife Diane and their son Jason” who was

clinging to Diane’s shoulder.

“I’m Ben,” he said, and motioning across the room, “that’s my wife, Marsha. We’ve been looking forward

to meeting you.” They came into the room and others introduced themselves. My wife went over to greet

Diane and meet her husband. I joined them after greeting John.

Diane looked at me when I walked over. “I hope this isn’t awkward. Jeremy and I have been through a lot

since I talked to you. John thought we’d enjoy coming.”

“I’m glad you did,” I said even though I felt otherwise. “I felt so bad for you when you ran off.”

“I know. It was all so spur of the moment when I saw you there and afterwards I felt like an idiot. At the

same time I was talking to you, Jeremy met John. He’s become a friend since and has helped me work

through some things and showed us that God is bigger than the failures of others.” We melted into the rest

of the room and I could see that Laurie was going to take them under her wing. Marsha directed us

outdoors where others were waiting.

As we gathered by the food-laden table, I spoke, “Let me introduce John. I’ve told you a lot about him

before, but I couldn’t be more grateful that God brought this man into my life. We have a bit of a strange

relationship since he drifts in and out without much control on my part, but he has really helped me.” Then

turning toward him I added, “John we just planned to eat and have a conversation with you. How does that

sound?”

“It sounds like family to me,” John smiled. “But before we do, I want the rest of you to meet Jeremy, Diane

and little Jason,” he said, pointing them out with an open hand as he spoke their names. “I first met them a

few months ago and they’ve begun anew to follow Jesus and wanted to meet others on that journey.”

Ben began a chorus of thanksgiving and then told John, Jeremy and Diane that they should go first. John

declined for them all saying they wanted to be family, not guests. We tried to argue with him, but after a few

awkward moments we gave up and a line formed. I noticed John waiting and slid in beside him. “Are you

sure it was wise to bring Diane?” I whispered.

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“Why not? I thought you all could be a big help to them.”

“I can appreciate that, but her being here stirs up so much of the past.”

“And that’s bad?”

“I don’t know. I’d rather not be distracted with all that.”

John smiled, “This isn’t all about you, Jake. Don’t protect yourself at someone else’s expense. You’ll rob

Jesus of an opportunity to do something amazing in you both.” With that he patted me on the back and

motioned me toward the food line and I noticed we were the last ones. After I filled my plate I turned to the

four long tables pushed into a big rectangle so we could all talk easily. I saw Laurie sitting with Jeremy and

Diane. I sighed, thinking this was going to be a long night and waved John over to join us.

The introductions continued and people pried more information out of John in a few moments than I had

in two years. He was born overseas and currently lives in Northern California, but moves around a lot. He

had been married, though he and his wife never were able to have children, and he was now a widower.

When people asked what he did for a living, he said he’d done a number of things at one time or another,

but now spent most of his time helping people grow closer to Jesus. He also directed back to others

questions he was asked and found out a lot about others before we finished eating.

Jason started to get fussy in Diane’s lap and I could see people roll their eyes and noticed Diane had hardly

eaten. John noticed too. He got up and asked if he could take Jason for a moment and returned to his chair

with Jason cradled in his arms.

“Do you all not have children, or was I supposed to get a sitter?” Diane asked.

Laurie jumped in. “No, he’s fine. We have lots of kids around here, but we thought it would give us more

freedom to talk if they weren’t distracting us.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“Please, don’t be concerned about it. We’re glad you’re here and glad Jason is too,” Marsha broke in. Jason

had settled into John’s arms and was mesmerized by the spoon John was using to entertain him.

As I was trying to think of a segue into a more substantive discussion, John spoke, “I’m not sure it’s best to

look at children as distractions. Jesus didn’t. They were drawn to him and he enjoyed it. When others tried

to chase them away, he told them not to. If we’re not ready to receive the littlest ones in their weaknesses,

we’re probably not ready to receive each other in ours.”

“So what should we do with children?” Ben asked. “That’s been a big issue around here.”

“Did your family get together last Easter?”

“Yes. We had a huge bash here with our relatives, probably 50 or more.”

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“When you planned for that, did anyone ask what you should do with the kids?”

“No,” Ben chuckled. “They’re just part of the family.”

“Why is it any different in Father’s family?”

Ben hesitated so Marsha jumped in, “Because we’re trying to have a meeting and the children get bored. I

think we should provide something for them, as well.”

“Then maybe I wouldn’t try so hard to have a meeting.” John said still playing with Jason. “Be a family and

let them be a part just as you do at your family get-togethers. Include them where you can and let them be

kids together at times, too, when you’re involved in things they may find less interesting.”

“But there’s too many just to turn them loose. It’s hard to get people to go out with them when no one wants

to miss the meeting.”

“Who said anything about turning them loose? Love them. Include them as significant parts of the family

however you can. Let me ask you a question. Do you usually eat together?”

“We often do. We think it is part of sharing the Lord’s Table.”

“Do you have a kid’s table when you do?”

I sensed this wasn’t going to be good, but the other folks had no idea how differently John thinks. “Of

course we do, doesn’t everyone?”

“Well, actually no. Eating together is one of the simplest things a family does. If you’re already dividing up

by then, you’re missing something extraordinary. Mix it up, and don’t have families sitting together. Sit

down with a child that is not your own and get to know what makes him tick. What do they enjoy? How is

school going? Or grab some blocks and hit the floor with a two year old.

“And if you have them with you for singing or sharing, don’t have your own child on your lap where you’ll

struggle with them to make it look like they’re participating. Get someone else’s child on your lap and make

it playful for them. Do you realize the most significant factor in helping a child thrive in the culture is for

them to have caring relationships with adults who are not their relatives? The best gift you can give each

other’s kids is the same gift you can give each other—the gift of friendship. And if the kids go out to enjoy

some time together, don’t send people out to do childcare. Think of it as an opportunity for a couple of you

to build relationships with a significant part of your group—whether they’re toddlers or teenagers.”

“But since they’re not in a Sunday school class, how will they get instruction?” Marsha asked.

Before he could answer Laurie leaned across me and opened her arms offering to take Jason. “Haven’t you

had that one long enough?” she asked pleading.

With a kiss on Jason’s forehead and a smile John gave him up to Laurie and then picked up his fork. “How

old are your children, Marsha?”

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“Ten, seven and three.”

“If you have something you want to share with them, do it. But don’t think that is the best way they learn.” At

that he grabbed a fork and held it up. “Do you remember teaching your children to use a fork?”

“Not exactly...”

“But they all use one, I assume. Did you send them to fork school, or have a Powerpoint presentation on the

make-up and use of a fork?” People laughed. “It sounds silly, doesn’t it? But as long as we think of this life in Christ as knowledge to acquire instead of living in him, we’ll do all kinds of foolish things. Your children

know how to use a fork, but that’s because they learned it in life. As they got old enough you probably put the

fork in their hands, but held on so they wouldn’t poke their eye out. You helped them guide it to their mouth

and when you grew confident they wouldn’t hurt themselves, you let them do it on their own. Embracing

the life of Jesus is a lot more like learning to use that fork than it is sitting in meetings. Children will learn the truth as you help them learn to live it.”

I was surprised when Roary spoke up since he’s one of the quietest men in our group. “I love what you’re