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Craig took the bottles of wine and set them on the kitchen counter. He took Jeremy’s coat for him, allowing his fingers to graze along the skin of Jeremy’s neck. A short gasp escaped his lips as he took in Jeremy’s outfit. He wore a black form-fitting, cotton and spandex mix, long-sleeve shirt which hugged his narrow frame. His loose-fitting jeans accentuated his lean torso as well as his slim hips, the round of his ass pushing at the fabric in the back.

He had made sure his appearance would capture Jeremy’s attention as well.

Choosing to wear a collared polo short-sleeve shirt a size too small, revealing his muscular frame; the planes of his pecs dotted with a hint of nipple pressing at the fabric, narrow Levi jeans highlighted his ass and package as well as his strong thighs.

He had even sprayed himself with Acqua Di Gio since Jeremy’s reaction had been so enthusiastic.

After hanging the coat on a hook in the hallway, he turned to Jeremy who caught him caught in a tight embrace. The sudden contact sent a thrill through Craig and his arousal kicked into gear, sending blood to all the right places. Thank God my pants are tight or else Mr. Happy would be poking into Jeremy right now. They stood in the middle of the hallway, holding each other for a minute or two, before Jeremy pulled back, sniffing audibly. “You’re wearing that cologne again, aren’t you?”

Yes! “I threw on some Acqua Di Gio. You mentioned you liked the scent.”

Jeremy released him, a furtive smile crossing his face. “So you put the cologne on for me?”

Heat raced to Craig’s neck and cheeks. He hadn’t anticipated Jeremy turning his own move against him. “Um, I guess, er, no?”

Jeremy burst out laughing. “Convincing!”

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With the meal ready and a bottle of wine opened, they sat down to eat. “I can’t get over how much your cooking brings me back home. It’s like we’re sitting in your kitchen like old times, eating until we burst.” Jeremy had a dreamy look on his face as he cut a small piece off his roast and popped the meat into his mouth. “My God. This is better than I remember.”

Craig grabbed his fork and dug in as well. “Mom sure has an awesome arsenal of meals. I’m glad I spent so much time learning how to cook before I moved out.” Food muffled his speech causing Jeremy to laugh.

“I see your balance isn’t the only trait you kept. Your manners are as atrocious as ever. How are your parents anyways? We haven’t talked much about them over the past few weeks.”

Craig’s parents kept tabs, but didn’t become overly involved, striking the perfect balance between checking in and giving him space. They had been accepting when he came out to them, making an effort to remain involved in his life, inviting boyfriends to dinner, and asking about them when they called. Craig could tell his mother never warmed up to Robert even though she never showed her displeasure. His mother had a way of cutting through the bullshit no matter what fronts others put on to impress her.

“They’re great. Dad says he’s got about five years of work left in him before he and mom are going to take more time off in the winter to go south.”

Jeremy smiled. “I bet your mom can’t wait.”

Craig cut off another bite of meat and placed it into his mouth. “Well, she keeps herself busy. She reads to kids at the library and volunteers in the schools while Dad is wrapped up in his dentistry business.”

“Sounds like they’re good as ever.” Jeremy speared a stalk of asparagus and placed it idly in his mouth.

Craig followed the motion, admiring the plump lips as they closed over the fork, fueling his desire to jump across the table and nibble on them. He shook the image from his mind. “The only thing about Mom being retired and dad still working is she has way too much time on her hands and checks in on me much more frequently.”

“Speaking of checking in, does she give you any shit about smoking? I mean, your dad made sure you had the straightest, most perfect teeth in all of Newton and now you’re ruining your smile by staining your teeth yellow. It’s quite a disgusting habit.”

Jeremy made a face, exaggerating his distaste.

“Thanks, Mom.” Craig rolled his eyes. “Actually, I haven’t had a cigarette in a week. I’m about to turn thirty and get winded walking home. Something doesn’t sit right with me to be this young and to lose my breath by walking.”

Jeremy nodded his approval. “Well, good luck. I hear after three days the nicotine leaves your system. After that, you’re battling a mental addiction, not a physical one.

The whole hand-to-mouth thing.” A smirk crawled across Jeremy’s face and he chuckled to himself.

“What? You can’t laugh and not tell me what’s so funny.”

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Jeremy shook his head. “What I said, the hand-to-mouth comment. I wonder why gay men smoke in the first place. We seem to do fine in the whole oral fixation department.”

Craig choked on the food in his mouth. Jeremy jumped up and started pounding him on the back. A large chunk of beef came back up and landed with a thunk on the table in front of him. “Jesus, Jeremy, let me finish chewing before you make me laugh.

But you’re right. If smoking is partially an oral addiction, we should be a demographic that smokes less.” Craig grabbed a napkin, scooped up the chewed up piece of food, and walked into the kitchen to throw it away.

He returned to find Jeremy laughing harder than before. “Smooth. A real turn on.”

Craig flushed. “Shut up. It’s your fault.”

“Sure, blame the flying food on me.” Jeremy smiled, and continued eating.

“Dad says if I’m still not smoking by summer, he’ll give me a free teeth whitening.”

Craig smiled, purposely ensuring he covered his teeth with chewed up asparagus.

“Lovely. You’re a real charmer when you want to be.” Jeremy smiled at him, a simmering heat beginning to burn within his eyes. “I’m glad you still have your goofy, immature way of doing stupid things for laughs.”

Becoming slightly more serious, Craig turned to Jeremy. “How about your parents?

How are they doing?”

Jeremy glanced down at the table, the smile vanishing, before lifted his gaze to meet Craig’s. “Mom’s doing well. She hasn’t dated much since she and dad split up. I get worried about her sometimes. Grandma passed away five years ago and I tried to get her to move here, but she seems settled where she is and doesn’t want to pick up her life and move again.”

Craig saw a twinge of sadness in Jeremy’s eyes. “And your dad?”

“Dad’s good too. He moved back to Boston and remarried a few years after they split. He waited until I went to college before moving so things would remain stable for me. Neither of my parents wanted me to shuttle across the country while I still lived at home. His wife, Marsha, is a nice lady. I’m happy for him.” Craig could tell he meant what he had said.

They continued eating for a few minutes in silence, drinking their wine and enjoying the meal. Finally, Jeremy broke the silence. “So, Robert seems like a stand-up guy.”

Craig’s insides jumped at the sudden turn in conversation. What does he want to talk about Robert for? “Yeah. He tends to make a good impression on people.”

“Tell me about him.” Jeremy’s request was delivered pleasantly enough, but the way he stared at Craig made him wonder how casual his interest really was.

“We met when I first moved to the West Village, I went to The Monster. We met and connected, like when you see someone across a room and think he’s cute and later, you manage to talk to him and find out he thinks you’re cute too. We talked the whole 126

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night and I liked him a lot. I didn’t even let him sleep with me at the end of the evening.”

Jeremy cocked his head. “I don’t follow. You liked him so much so you didn’t let him take you home?”

“Well, if I did, Robert would have been like every other one night stand. How many times has a hook-up with a guy on the first night turned into a relationship for you?”

Jeremy nodded. “Point taken.”

“Anyway, we went on several dates. He was starting out at Goldman Sachs and believed in his work…had a real passion for investment banking. I became excited listening to him talk about his work. I didn’t understand one damn thing he said, but his passion was a turn-on. Know what I mean?”

Jeremy’s eyes glazed over. “Yeah. I know exactly what you mean.”

“After about four dates, I finally invited him over to cook for him.” Craig smiled remembering the evening. “I made him this meal actually. We had a wonderful evening. I dimmed the lights, set candles all around, played romantic music.” Music, Shit! Craig jumped up, ran to the stereo and pressed play, then returned to the table.

The sounds of Squeeze filled the room. “Sorry ‘bout that.”

Jeremy’s mouth pulled at the sides, pressed tightly together, as if he had to fight to hold something in, then he burst out laughing. “You, my friend, are a total goof!”

Jeremy continued laughing and Craig couldn’t help but join him. Before long, the two of them were clutching at their sides.

Jeremy’s laughter died down, a smile still plastered across his face, but something in his expression seemed a little sad. “You sound like you’re happy with Robert.”

Craig stared down at his plate. “I used to be.” He couldn’t believe the admission came out of his mouth.

Jeremy’s head snapped up. “What?”

Craig blushed. He never talked badly about Robert, no matter what he thought.

“Uh, well, you know how things are. After a while, you run into road bumps and need to work through them.” I hope I sound convincing to him, ‘cause I’m not fooling myself for a minute.

Jeremy studied Craig as if he were under a microscope. Crossing his arms, he leveled his gaze to settle on him. “You’re not fooling me for one second. Spill.”

Defeated, Craig slumped his shoulders and finished his glass of wine. “Well, if I’m going to tell this story, I think I need a refill.” Jeremy grabbed the bottle and refilled both of their glasses and Craig recounted the past few years of his relationship with Robert; the promotions, his shift from valuing people to valuing money, the fact the sex had begun to seem mechanical—absent of love.

Jeremy took his hand. “I’m so sorry, Craig.”

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Craig sighed. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t want anyone’s pity. I’m the one who is in this and I’m the one who is staying in this.” He shook his head. “Until I do something about it, I can only be upset with myself.”

Jeremy glanced down at their joined hands, then back at Craig. “I don’t pity you.

I’m sorry you’re experiencing this.” His voice remained soft and understanding.

“The worst part of the whole thing…I know he’s not good for me. I’ve never been someone to sit by and let bad things happen. Up until recently, we still had amazing sex, but now he doesn’t seem to care about anything but his own needs. He gets himself off and doesn’t worry about my needs.”

The shocked expression on Jeremy’s face caused Craig to laugh. He couldn't decide if Jeremy was horrified or embarrassed by the last bit of information.

Jeremy squinted and shook his head, as if he were trying to clear his brain of the image Craig had planted there. “Why do you stay with him?”

Craig removed his hand from Jeremy’s. “Honestly, I have no idea. I think because I’m comfortable and to upheave my life right now seems like a headache I don’t want to deal with.”

Jeremy slid his chair closer to Craig and put his arm around his shoulders. “Listen to me. We haven’t been in touch until recently, but we were best friends for a long time and we have reconnected like no time has passed.” He stopped talking. Craig turned to face him and he continued. “You are way too good, worth way too much, to tolerate this. You deserve someone who will love you with a fierce passion.” He tightened his grip around Craig’s shoulder. “I barely met Robert, but I hate him from what you’ve told me.”

Craig smiled, but lowered his gaze. “I haven’t been fair to him. He’s not here to defend himself and you are only hearing my side of the story. I’m sure he has his side as well.”

Jeremy’s voice shifted to a shout. “I don’t give a fuck about his side of the story.”

Craig stared up, frightened by Jeremy’s outburst. Jeremy blushed. “I’m sorry. All I’m saying is no reason is good enough to treat someone like they don’t exist. You don’t deserve to be treated like an object. He’s made you forget who you are. The way you’re talking right now is unrecognizable from the Craig I grew up with.”

As much as Craig didn’t want to hear what Jeremy was saying, he couldn’t deny the effect Jeremy’s validation had on him. Despite the years between their childhood and now, Jeremy understood Craig better than anyone else. He placed a hand on Jeremy’s arm and stared at him, his heart filled with affection and longing. It took all of his self-control not to hug Jeremy close and never let him go. “Thanks Jeremy. I appreciate hearing someone remind me I deserve more.” What I really mean is it makes me hard when you get protective like this.

Jeremy filled their glasses again and took their dishes to the kitchen. Craig got up and followed him. “So, tell me about how things are with you and Andrew.”

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Jeremy stiffened slightly. “We met eight years ago. I had begun teaching and lived in the East Village. One night I went to Phoenix on Thirteenth Street and he was playing pool. I decided to put my name on the board and we ended up playing together. We made fun of each other and conversation came easily. As the evening progressed we had drink after drink and our attraction grew.”