Perfectly Broken (17 page)

“Okay, tease. Yes, besides sex.”

She giggled. “I like to walk.”

“Where?”

“Anywhere,” she said. “It feels good. When I
have the chance, I walk all around the city, sometimes for hours.”
She pulled her knees up to her chest. “It feels like I’m going
somewhere. Like I
have
somewhere to go, and I’m part of the
bustle all around me.”

Tomas slid to the edge of the bed. “Okay,
walking it is.”

“I can give you a walking tour, show you some of
Dublin. It’s better than those geeky tours you pay for. I don’t
think you are a guy who wants an educational tour on the
architecture, history, or discoveries.”

He laughed. “The only thing I’d like to discover
is more about you.”

Susanna slid to the edge of the bed. “That’s
what we will do, then. I’ll take you to places I like.”

Tomas smiled. “I hope it includes beer.”

“Of course. You can’t see Dublin without trying
out the pubs.”

“Let’s get going then,” Tomas said. “Do you want
some coffee? I need some.”

“Aaah, I
need
coffee.”

“Another addiction, huh?” Tomas tickled her, and
Susanna fought his hand away.

“Why not add it to the list? I have every other
addiction. Why should caffeine be off limits?”

Tomas headed for the kitchen.

She called after him. “And I need to go by my
place to change clothes.”

“Good idea.” He stopped and turned to look at
her. “Do you have anything that doesn’t look like you live in the
Dark Ages?”

Susanna stuck out her lower lip. “You don’t like
my wardrobe?”

“Well, those leather pants were hot.” He paused.
“But do you have anything else? Just for today, you know. Not
forever. I’d like to see how you look without all that makeup and
the Gothic look.”

She shrugged. “Okay, just for today. I’ll see
what I have. But don’t get used to it. I happen to like Gothic. I
know you are trying to reform me, but I’ll never fit the status
quo.”

“I wouldn’t want you to.”

*****

At Susanna’s apartment, he went inside with her
to wait while she changed. They had already showered at his place,
and spent extra time enjoying each other naked. Tomas wasn’t
anxious to leave his apartment. He quite liked having her
there.

But she wanted to walk, and Tomas wanted to be
with her. Susanna introduced him to Kiara and her boyfriend, Chace,
then went to her bedroom to change clothes. The couple shared a
late breakfast, and offered him some, though he declined. Kiara had
long, wavy blond hair, and a cheerful personality. He liked her
well enough.

Chace worked in investments, which Tomas found
fascinating. It wasn’t his field, but he dreamed of starting his
own company one day, and chatted about what was involved in
obtaining investors. Kiara finished her food and cleared the table.
The conversation had turned to how companies went public and
offered stock when Susanna reappeared.

She stood just outside the kitchen. “Ready?”

Susanna wore jeans and a baby-blue turtleneck
sweater under a wool coat. Instead of spiked heels or boots, she
wore brown leather walking shoes. Her face was lovely, and her
dusting of freckles was adorable. Missing was the black eyeliner
and the row of silver rings along the rim of her ear.

“Are you just going to stare? Or are we going to
go?”

Tomas stood. “Nice meeting you guys. We’ll talk
again, Chace.” He exited the kitchen and followed Susanna to the
door. She turned to smile at him.

“Acceptable?”

He grinned. “You look ravishing.”

Susanna giggled. “I didn’t know you were a
hiking-boots type of guy.”

It was bitterly cold outside, but that didn’t
deter Susanna. If anything, she seemed invigorated by the brisk
air. The popular walking tour in Dublin followed nature’s course,
and that was the way she went, along the banks of the Liffey
River.

She followed the river through the city to the
thriving business area of Dublin Docklands. Tomas had no trouble
keeping up with her, and he took the opportunity to see more of the
city. Past one of the major hotels, Susanna took the Sean O’Casey
Bridge and stopped to sightsee.

“Check out the view,” she said.

Tomas looked around. In the distance, he could
see the harbor and a toll bridge. Nearby a tall ship was berthed.
“The
Jeanie Johnston
,” he said. “I remember that. My dad
took me to see it a long time ago. It’s a replica of a ship built
in the 1800s.”

Susanna shoved his arm. “Yes, what young boy
wouldn’t like seeing a historic ship like that? I bet you pretended
to be a Viking.”

“I’m not?”

She laughed.

Susanna said he absolutely
had
to walk
across the Samuel Beckett Bridge, a structure made to look like a
giant harp lying on its side across the Liffey River. Walking
across it was electrifying. It had been constructed several years
before, but Tomas had not been to Ireland in a while. The
cable-stayed bridge was nothing less than modern art.

“It’s even better at night,” Susanna said. “The
ivory bridge looks like a graceful arch against the dark sky. It’s
dramatic.”

One thing Dublin had no shortage of was bridges.
Going west, they crossed over a bridge where they could see Custom
House, the building that Tomas had a view of from his hotel window.
But his favorite bridge was the O’Connell, which was unique because
it was wider than it was long.

Taking O’Connell Street to the right, they were
back in the center of Dublin, where they continued down Bachelor’s
Walk, heading for yet another bridge, the Liffey. A small lane
opposite the bridge led them into the Temple Bar District.

Susanna never tired. If anything, she increased
her stride.

“How about finding something to eat? Tomas said.
“I’m starved. That toast with our coffee this morning didn’t fill
me up much.”

She stopped to put her arms around him. “Yep. I
was just heading to a restaurant I adore. I eat there when I can
afford it. Which isn’t that often.”

Tomas kissed the top of her head. “Well, you’re
with me today. So let’s go.”

They had come full circle, and the place she
took him to was adjacent to Trinity College, near her apartment. As
the name suggested, The Farm offered dishes with locally sourced
ingredients. It didn’t look impressive from the outside, with its
unimaginative storefront. And inside were some hokey green-bulb
wall lights.

But Susanna assured him the chef worked magic on
traditional Irish dishes. She selected the fish pie, one of her
favorites, and Tomas chose the farm burger. They ordered pints of
Irish ale to go with it. From their table by the window, they had a
view to the street, though it was fairly quiet as the winter months
didn’t attract the tourists.

Tomas removed his coat and took a gulp of
beer.

“What were you talking to Chace about?” Susanna
asked.

“Oh, just investment stuff. After I get some
experience I’d like to set up my own business. The application
process is only a few weeks, but I would need investors. Of course,
not every company succeeds. I know it’s a myth that anyone can
start an e-gaming company and make a profit. But I’d still like to
try.”

Susanna delicately sipped her beer. “That sounds
like a good plan.”

“What about you? Did you ever think of going to
college, or do you have some career in mind?”

“I tried a local college. When my parents were
still alive they could help me a bit with the tuition. But I was
unable to focus.”

Tomas grinned. “Too many men on campus?”

“Yes.” Susanna pretended to pout. “If you must
know. So I dropped out.”

Tomas decided to change the subject. “Where to
next?”

“Well, if you were a woman I’d say The Loft.
It’s a shopping area, the height of Dublin fashion.” She smiled.
“But I won’t torture you like that.”

He laughed.

“If you’re not sick of walking, I thought we’d
check out Phoenix Park.”

Tomas nodded. “Sure, that’s not far.”

“And then tonight, I’ll take you on my own
version of a Dublin pub crawl. I can show you all the best
pubs.”

He grinned. “Now you’re talking.”

The hot food was delivered and they focused on
eating. The meals were as delicious as Susanna predicted, and Tomas
cleaned his plate. He felt better. Leaning back, he took time to
finish his beer. Looking across at Susanna, he marveled at her
beauty. Without the heavy makeup, her smooth skin was flawless. Her
radiant hair flowed past her shoulders, framing her face and
accenting her blue eyes.

She took the last gulp of her beer and pushed
her plate with the remains of her fish pie aside. “What are you
looking at?”

“You.” He reached out to touch her hand. “You
don’t know how beautiful you are, do you?”

She blushed. “I’m flattered you think so,
Tomas.” Then she furrowed her brow. “But don’t get carried away
with that princess stuff, okay?”

He grinned. “No. Never.”

She slapped his arm. “Okay, let’s get going.
We’ve got a lot to see before it gets dark.”

They walked to the park, which was right in the
city and one of the largest in Europe. Tomas had to remind himself
he was still in Dublin. There were lots of open spaces, trees,
lakes, and even herds of deer. They chose one of the many paths to
walk along. Luckily, the wind wasn’t blowing.

Though it was cold out, they were bundled up, so
it wasn’t too bad. Susanna took a small knit cap out of her pocket
and pulled it on. “There, that’s better.”

Tomas took her hand and led her to a wooden park
bench. They had a view of the city, and it was romantic sitting
there together. He put his arm around her to hold her close, and
keep her warm.

Susanna was quiet, and seemed thoughtful.

“What are you thinking about?” Tomas said.

“Oh, I guess about being with you.” She paused.
“I don’t feel so alone.”

He hugged her. “That’s good.”

“I think about my mother sometimes…Eva, and how
she gave me up.”

Tomas just listened.

“It’s still hard for me.” Susanna looked up at
him. “Why would she do that? I wish I could have met her, at least
talked to her, so I could understand.”

“Maybe she had a drug issue. You said she died
of an overdose.”

“Yes, but why wouldn’t she still love her own
baby?”

Tomas wasn’t sure what to say. “Maybe she did,
and that’s why she gave you up. She didn’t feel she could take care
of you.”

“But the foster system is worse.”

“Maybe she didn’t know that. For all you know,
she loved you very much.”

Tears welled in Susanna’s eyes, and to Tomas, it
felt like a strong hand reached in to squeeze his heart. He hurt
for her.

“But I don’t
know
, Tomas. That’s the hard
part.”

“You won’t, baby. I’m so sorry you didn’t have
that chance.” Tomas held her tighter when she started to cry. “But
you know what?”

Susanna wiped her tears away with her sleeve.
“What?”

Tomas looked into her eyes, so blue and so sad.
“That doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t mean you aren’t
important, baby. It doesn’t make you unworthy of love.” He put his
fingertips under her chin, and kissed her tenderly, tasting the
salt of her tears.

She leaned against his chest, and he stroked her
cheek. He couldn’t imagine how it would feel to lose a mother you
didn’t have the chance to know, and then to have the only parents
you had suddenly taken away in a horrible accident. As much as he
wanted to, Tomas couldn’t fix it for her. He couldn’t make the pain
go away. But he could make it better for her from now on.

* * * * *

The pub crawl started in Temple Bar, but moved
to more traditional pubs north of the river. It wasn’t just about
great beer, but about singing along to traditional Irish music. The
musicians played instruments, sang, and told stories. Susanna
enjoyed watching Tomas practice the technique for pouring a perfect
pint of Guinness. Later, buzzed from the beer, they learned to
speak some Gaelic.

Halfway through the evening, they ate on the
heated rooftop terrace at The Parnell. Tomas wanted to make sure
they got some food in their stomachs along with all the beer.
Susanna was sure he was more concerned about her. The pub she took
him to was one she favored.

It had a European-style storefront, and inside
was colorful. Red, green, yellow, blue, and even orange imbued the
décor with a lively feel. They had their own resident musicians
that could be heard from up on the rooftop.

Susanna ordered the Irish stew made with lamb
and local vegetables, while Tomas opted for another traditional
dish: loin of bacon with cabbage and mashed potatoes. It came with
homemade parsley sauce.

They skipped dessert to head off to another pub,
but ended the evening with Irish coffee at Boxty House, their last
stop. It felt natural to go back to the apartment with Tomas. The
day together had been one of the better times Susanna could
recall.

And being with Tomas in his new apartment was
even better. He was sexy as hell, and Susanna liked how he
dominated things in the bedroom. She had not been with a man who
did that, and discovered she liked it, maybe a bit too much.

That night, Susanna learned things about
herself; things that were bold and exciting, if somewhat naughty.
But were they? Just because it was different did not mean it was
off limits. She had never been a prude or criticized others for
their sexual preferences.

Yet the things Tomas did with her,
to
her, edged into the forbidden. The experiences whetted her appetite
for more, and Susanna craved being with him. And that was
terrifying. She had not been with any man that she couldn’t leave
at will.