Shattered Rose (2 page)

I sat down on
the lips, rubbing my hands over the fabric, and realized how much it clashed with my own style—simple and relatively plain. I had an unhealthy affection for solid colors and was rarely seen in anything other than jeans and a t-shirt or running attire.

I glanced over to the kitchen. It was pretty standard—white appliances and Formica countertops. No dining table, but at least
we had a bar.

The apartment wasn’t large, so it was pretty easy to find the room marked C. The other two bedrooms were shut, but that was probably a good thing. Snooping in someone’s room was not the best way to make a good first impression. 

I unlocked my door and could swear I stepped right back into the dorm.  The walls were cinderblock and painted white. A small double bed was pushed against the far wall, and a petite dresser and desk sat to my left. The entrance to the bathroom was on the right.  I smiled. It was quant…shower, sink, and toilet, but it was all mine. I inched to the window to see if my luck continued, and it did. In front of me were two large trees parted just enough to see the sun glistening off the campus lake. I pulled up the blinds to let the sun fill my room and basked in my good fortune. I was happier and healthier than I had been in years.

Grabbing
my cell phone, I plopped on my bed, and dialed my best friend.  I had known Cara since middle school, and she was one of the few people in the world I trusted.  All through high school we had planned to go to the University of Georgia together. The campus was located only a few hours from our hometown. However, part of me always knew I wanted to get out of Georgia and try something new. When my Winsor scholarship came through, the decision was pretty easy to make. Distance didn’t seem to affect our closeness, though…I guess kindred spirits are designed that way.

“Hello?”

“Guess where I am?”  I asked, my voice giving away the answer.

“Um, could it be your new apartment? Or have you come to your senses, decided we had way too much fun this summer and have transferred to UGA?”

“I wish. Tell the administration to give me an alumni scholarship, and I’m there.” That wasn’t entirely true, but I had learned with people that sometimes less is more, and I rarely let anyone know exactly what I was thinking…even Cara.

“Anyway, Yes, I am in my new room, complete with my very own bathroom. I also got a room overlooking the lake. Someone seriously needs to pinch me. Oh, you would not believe the loveseat in the living room. I’m going to text you a picture as soon as we get off the phone.” 

“Sounds lovely. So, have you met any hot neighbors who are just dying to help you move all your stuff in…without shirts on of course?” she teased.

“You are officially boy crazy. No, in fact I haven’t met anyone yet, not even my new roommate.”

“Are you nervous? I mean, are you feeling anything we should talk about?”

I
wasn’t surprised Cara asked me that question. I had had some struggles peak last year, and let the pressure of maintaining my grades get the best of me. In a moment of full disclosure, I opted to tell Cara about my issues, but had since wondered if sharing had been a mistake.

“Cara, I’m fine. I haven’t even thought about it. You don’t need to worry.”
I was lying, but didn’t want to start a long conversation about decisions that weren’t even a factor today. Today was all about the future…not the past.

“Ok, but I do worry, and I want you to know I’m here for you if it becomes a temptation again. You got it?” She was stern, but I knew it was because she cared. I felt very lucky to have a friend like her.

“I got it. I promise. Ok, I have to go. I left all my things in the car, and it’s going to get dark soon. I’ll call you later.”  I pressed END on my cell phone and headed back out the door.

Seven trips later, I was pulling the last box out of my car, the heaviest one, of course. My legs were burning and screaming at me about having a second floor apartment. It seemed crazy that something like stairs could wind me so much when I ran at least three miles a day. I could almost hear Cara’s voice in my head, “Running is not strength training, and skinny doesn’t mean strong. You need to put some meat on your bones.”  I couldn’t help it, though. I loved to run. It was my retreat. A place where I could clear my head and everything seemed to make sense. Often, I was my own worst enemy, analyzing and re-analyzing everything around me, but when I ran, I felt invincible.

Then the unthinkable happened as I daydreamed. I missed the first step sending me sprawling forward as the box slammed into the staircase. In my attempt to recover myself, my exposed shin slid across the concrete step making me wince in pain. I somehow got to my feet and watched as the box bounced down the stairs, hitting the ground with a thud.

“Hey there, need some help?” I heard footsteps approach me from behind. Cara must have seen the future because I turned,
and two attractive men approached me in running shorts and very bare, muscular chests.

“I’m ok,” I
assured them, turning my head away so they wouldn’t see me blushing. I was so awkward around guys. It was annoying.

The one with light brown hair and
matching eyes grabbed the box easily off the ground while the other, the more attractive one of the two, eyed me appreciatively. He was the first one to notice I was now bleeding.

“I think you may need to put something on that,” he noted walking up to me. “I’m Aaron. This here is Danny. You must be new here.” He said
the words as if he knew every woman that lived in the building, but then again, he was looking at me as if he already knew me too…in the biblical sense.

Danny laughed as he adjusted the box in his arms. “Don’t mind my roommate; he has no manners. What apartment are you in?”

His words allowed me break the eye hold Aaron had on me as I turned to look up the stairs. “204. You really don’t have to. I can get it.”

“Nonsense,” he said as he navigated up the stairs. I followed behind him, trying not to fidget, as I felt Aaron’s eyes glaring into my backside. My shorts weren’t that short, but I still wondered how grotesque my legs looked from behind. With each step, I felt my insecurity get more and more extreme. I hated when anyone looked at my body.

I opened the door for them and Danny set down the box on top of the coffee table. He seemed to look around the apartment as though he was searching for someone. “Is your roommate home?” he asked nonchalantly.

“No, I actually haven’t met her yet. Do you know her?” I replied as I walked them back out to the hall.

Aaron snorted. “He wishes.”

Danny
seemed to get embarrassed and hit his friend.

“Well, thanks for helping me.”  

Danny seemed to hesitate and then shyly offered, “We’re in apartment 315. Y’all are welcome to come by tonight. We’re having some friends over.”

Aaron leaned his hand against the frame, looking from the top of my head down the length of my body. I didn’t know how it was possible to feel so violated without even a touch, but I did. “You should definitely come...um?” Then he raised his eyebrows as a way to ask my name.

I hugged myself, wishing I had something to cover my tank top. “Avery. I’ll think about it,” I said, hoping they would leave soon. I wasn’t going anywhere near that apartment.

He winked at me one more time before I saw Danny push him along while he rolled his eyes. “See you around, Avery,” Danny called
as he waved.

I shut the door with a sigh, and then scolded myself again. I couldn’t be a recluse forever. New apartment…new me!

I took the box to my room and collapsed in the desk chair. What a mess. I had been in such a rush to move out of the dorm that my clothes were crammed into two suitcases. I had boxes full of junk that I had no idea what to do with, and my schoolbooks were somewhere underneath it all.

I sat there for a moment trying to conger up any excuse to procrastinate unpacking until I heard the front door unlock and laughter fill the apartment.
The laugh was contagious, one that made a person want to laugh even when he or she had no idea what was funny. I peeked out of my room and saw the source. She was talking on the phone and laying on the hideous lip love seat with her head hanging over the edge. Her hair was long and dark with alternating streaks of blue and purple at the ends. She had it pulled to the side with a sparkly black hair comb and wore tight red pants with black converses and a black and white striped shirt. There are only a handful of people in the world who could pull off that look, but she was one of them and stunning in the process.

The girl was a classic beauty…the kind artists of old would use as their muse to create stunning portraits. Her skin was like porcelain ivory, not pale, just delicate. Her eyes were set in such a way that her stare remained intense, a complete contrast to the animated style in which she moved and spoke.

I don’t know why, but I immediately liked her, maybe because she was the total opposite of me.  I waited until she got off the phone and then knocked on the door a little so I wouldn’t startle her.

“Hi, I’m Avery, your new roommate. Are you
Kaitlyn?”  She looked at me with a mix of horror and interest as she stood up from the lips. I couldn’t help but notice her body, a habit I’d been trying to break for years. It was perfect. She was petite, but still looked very much like a woman, having curves only where it mattered.

“I am certainly not
Kaitlyn…that is a name my mother gave me. I go by Issy, which is short for Isadora, my middle name. It’s a much better description of me as I was named after my grandma who was totally cool. We were wondering when you’d get here.”

“We?  I thought Naomi was in Portugal.”

“Oh, she is. I’m talking about my cousin, Jake. He crashes here a lot, especially since I’ve been alone these last few weeks. He’s a little protective of me to put it mildly, but he’s fun, so I let him believe he’s got the upper hand. He has a key to the apartment, so don’t be freaked out if he just walks in.” She said all this flippantly, as if it were the most normal thing that a guy I didn’t know had a key to my apartment.

“So,” she asked, crossing her arms. “What’s your story? Are you wild and crazy, totally annoying, or a kleptomaniac?”

I laughed and joined her in the living room. “No, I’m afraid I’m boring, somewhat clean, very private, and not at all annoying.”

“Fantastic! Tha
n you and I will get along fine. I was worried when the University said they were giving away the room. The three of us have known each other since high school, and well, you’ve seen some of the crazies around here.”

I had to hold in a laugh, thinking of how most people who met
Issy for the first time would probably use that same descriptor.

“Having hot roommates is kind of an essential part of the guy magnet thing,” she explained looking me up and down as if to check my credentials. “You’ll do just fine.  By the way, we’re heading to Caesars tonight to catch the
Wild Cats
play. They totally rock…you wanna come?”

“Um, thanks,” I answered, considering it for a moment. I had been to Caesars one time last year when I first met my old roommate. She was hooked up in a matter of minutes and left me to make conversation with complete strangers until I finally dragged her home. Remembering what a colossal disappointment that night was, made it pretty easy to decline. “You know what? May I get a rain check? I have a ton to do tonight.”

“Suit yourself, but if you change your mind, you know where to find us.”

As I watched
Issy frolic and sing around the apartment as if in her own Disney movie, I almost changed my mind out of sheer curiosity, but I hadn’t gotten in my run today and was definitely feeling it. Aaron’s full examination of my body had agitated me.

I envied
Issy’s lightheartedness; she was so dynamic and free, whereas I felt like I was constantly contained in a box. Ironically, I had spent most of my life running in different directions just trying to escape, but realized last year I was my own jailer. I had put these expectations and standards in my life that I just had to achieve, making perfection my unending pursuit.

I looked in the mirror as I pulled my golden hair back. “What is wrong with you?” I scolded myself. “This is a great day, and you are a strong, self-sufficient woman.”

With my perspective back on track, I put my headset on and headed out the door. At least for the next thirty minutes or so, I would feel free.

My run was amazing. I wasn’t sure if it was from the adrenalin of moving or my own frustration with my shyness. Either way, I felt great. This was a new start, a chance to have it all. Tomorrow I would come out of my shell and take time to get to know
Issy, even if it meant small talk with large groups of people.

With new determination, I put on my favorite tank and pajama shorts and started unpacking my mess. Music…I needed music. On-demand radio is the greatest invention of our time. Tonight, I was in the mood to dance. Nothing like a beat to keep spirits up and get lots of work done. My dancing skills may be less than stellar, but hey, I was the only one there, and I was going to enjoy it.

My room was finally finished after what felt like hours. The closet was just big enough for my scarce wardrobe, and each one of my enormous engineering books fit nicely on the bookshelf over my desk. The two blank walls were now covered in my favorite photographic art pieces, each one selected from a local artist. The one above my bed was a large black-and-white photo of a pier in the ocean.  The perspective was from underneath the pier, looking up, while the ocean water receded around it. I knew I had to have this picture the minute I saw it, not just because the lighting was breathtaking, but there was something about that pier, fighting against the powerful ocean forces, that spoke to me.