Shattered Rose (5 page)

I shut my door and headed straight to the shower. It dawned on me that I had seen Jake three times now. Once, dancing like a fool in my PJs, next, coming out of mid-sleep with wild hair, and now, sweating head to toe with a face the color of a tomato. I must be out of my mind to even worry about whether or not I liked
Jake, because it was glaringly obvious he was way out of my league. Yet, all the same, as if on auto pilot, I got dressed to go out with everyone. For some reason, I couldn’t physically say no to him even though my head was screaming at me,
Danger!
 

I found my favorite pair of skinny
jeans, the ones I could swear took off ten pounds, and a strapless blue shirt that fell right at my hips. I added a chunky necklace and hoop earnings and looked in the mirror.  I felt good. I felt pretty, which didn’t happen very often. My hair was actually behaving today. It was parted in the middle and the long waves fell gracefully below my shoulder blades. The blue in my shirt brought out my eyes, which were even more enhanced by a touch of brown mascara. I wasn’t one to wear much on my face and opted to stop with the addition of a soft peach lip-gloss. With all the confidence I could muster, I came out of my room and said, “Ok, I’m in.”

I’m not sure what I expected Jake’s reaction to be, but the look on his face far exceeded anything I had hoped for. Jake was one of those guys that had subtle charisma, where his expressions and body language said far more than his mouth ever did, a vast difference from Aaron’s obnoxious banter. I had his full attention and when we locked eyes, I smiled shyly at him, knowing full well I was failing at the hard-to-get game.

“Wow girl. You clean up well,” Issy stated after whistling. “Now come over here so we can get the night started.”

I walked over to the bar not knowing what to expect and found a spot open next to Jake. I was immediately slammed with his scent and almost closed my eyes. It was woody and inherently masculine with a slight hint of cinnamon.

All six of us were huddled around the bar staring at five shot glasses full of a clear liquid. Personally, drinking was not really my thing. I tried it a couple of times my freshmen year and always hated how out of control I felt. In addition, anything so expensive that included a ridiculous amount of empty calories seemed like a waste. But this was my first impression with these guys, and I didn’t want to seem boring. Issy passed each one of us a shot, except for the guy with the buzzed haircut, who I assume was the designated driver for the evening.

I felt Jake move his head closer
to mine and whisper, “You look beautiful tonight,” which immediately put me at the top of cloud nine.

Issy
lifted her glass and said, “To being young and stupid.”

Jake’s words had put me in a dream world
, and I eagerly drank the shot with the rest of the group. Unfortunately, I was the only person in the group coughing and gagging on it. My throat felt like it was on fire and my eyes immediately started to water.

“Oh my, Avery, I ha
ve a lot to teach you this year,” Issy said as she got me a glass of water. I was totally embarrassed at this point and “sorry” was all I could say.

Jake wrapped his arm around me. “No worries, I’m the ultimate caretaker, remember?” He was flirting…and I was thrilled.

I smiled back at him, looking him directly in the eyes. “You promise?”

The Varsity Club was in Asheville, which meant a thirty-minute drive with all of us crammed in a very small SUV.  I soon learned that the buzzed haircut guy’s name was Terry, but everyone called him T.J.  He had met Jake though their intramural basketball league. The intertwined couple consisted of Cindy and Blake. They had been dating for six months and were over the moon for each other. I guess Cindy lived in apartment 200 and had met
Issy a few weeks back. 

Jake sat in the front with T.J., which was a good thing since his mere proximity sent me into cardiac arrest. I was sitting between
Issy and Cindy who were both preoccupied. Issy was madly texting on her phone to multiple friends who were going to meet us. Cindy was giggling and whispering things to Blake that I certainly did not want to hear. 

The mix of our perfumes was becoming stifling in the closed space, and I quietly wondered why in the world I had agreed to go. My stomach was now fully growling, as I forgot to eat after my run…ok, maybe forgot wasn’t exactly true. I didn’t really want to eat, since I was wearing tight jeans and going out with Jake. I was slightly regretting that decision now. My head was already swimming a little from the shot
, and I could tell by Issy’s conversations that more were coming.

We finally got to the club and paid our cover to get in.
Issy and I got red stamps on our hands that said, “Under 21” and the rest of the crew got wristbands. Almost immediately after we got in the door, Issy pulled me into the bathroom, took nail polish remover out of her purse and wiped the ink off our hands. Next thing I knew, she put a matching wristband on both of us and smiled. “Happy Birthday. You just turned twenty-one.” Before I could say a word, she pulled me out of the bathroom and onto the dance floor. 

It was eighties night at the Varsity, and
Issy totally looked the part. She was wearing a short, black skirt with lace at the bottom and a black tank top with a loose white shirt over it. Her shirt had a black and white picture of Elvis on the front, which only added to its originality. On her right hand was a fingerless black glove and she had a black dog collar bracelet on her left wrist. The blue and purple from the other day had been replaced with long pink streaks. They were striking in the light and looked amazing against her dark hair.

I watched as she danced with complete freedom and saw how others were also drawn to her. I could feel the vibrations in my chest from the extremely loud music, and my eyes kept darting around the room as I wondered if people were looking at me while I bobbed next to
Issy’s erratic dancing. Next thing I knew, Issy and I were surrounded by three guys, each rubbing themselves on us. At first, I tried to politely move, but they were not having any of it. Suddenly, there were strong hands wrapped around my waist, and I was pulled out of the group. I knew immediately who had me, because he had a smell I could pinpoint even in a crowded room.

“I told you I’d take care of you.” Jake eyes were smoldering as we danced so close his lips were almost touching mine. I stared at him, mesmerized. I no longer cared who was looking at me, only that I was in his arms. We stayed on the dance floor through two more songs, and I could feel sweat beading on my forehead. I suddenly felt self-conscious and took a step back.

“This isn’t really your scene, is it?” Jake yelled, trying to be heard over the music.

“No, it’s
not…but, I’m still glad I came.”

“Let’s get a drink.” Jake held my hand and led me off the dance floor and over to the bar. He ordered a drink for himself and then gestured for my order.

“Oh, water please.”

With water in hand, we made our way to the back of the club where there were couches and chairs. Jake found one empty seat, sat down, and pulled me onto his lap. I was taken by how forward he was and butterflies bombarded my stomach. I had never felt such a physical reaction to a boy before. Sure, I had been kissed and even dated one guy for a month last semester, but none of them ever made every inch of me tingle. Even Aaron and Danny, who were both attractive, had nothing on the desire that raged through me whenever Jake even glanced my way.

I felt guilty for all those times I judged girls who absorbed themselves in the guys they dated. For the first time ever, I truly understood what pure, chemical attraction was to someone else, and Jake did it for me.

He was rubbing his hand up and down my back and playing with the nape of my neck, sending chills down my spine. He leaned in and I could feel his breath on my neck, making me almost moan out loud.

“Let’s go outside,” he whispered in my ear, rubbing his hands seductively up and down my arm. I stood and blindly followed him out as if in a trance. As soon as I felt the outside breeze lift my hair, my lungs begged for the freshness of it compared to the hot, stuffy club. Jake led me around the corner and backed me up to the wall. He had his leg jammed between mine and his chest was so close I could feel every breath he took. My body was shaking, overwhelmed by the physical attraction I felt for him.

He leaned in and started kissing my neck and then moved up until he firmly covered my mouth. My body raged with fire, as I brought my hands to his face and then up around his neck. I could hear my inner voice screaming at me,
What are you doing? You are making out in public, outside a club. This is not you!
But my inner voice was a soft roar compared to my desire to stay right where I was.

I’m not sure how long we stood there wrapped up in each other. It could have been seconds, minutes, or even hours. Time was of no consequence to me. Jake was the first to pull away, and I was left breathless, staring at him.

“We better get back in before Issy starts looking for us. I don’t think she’d be that keen on us kissing.” He looked as surprised as I was by the intense chemistry between us.

I looked down, trying to settle my trembling hands. “You’re right, we should go.”

Jake tilted my head back up, lightly kissing my lips again before he led me back into the club. The rest of the night was a blur, dancing and drinking, then more dancing. I felt like I was dancing in the clouds, and Jake never left my side the entire evening. At the end of the night, we all piled in the car. This time Issy was in the front seat and Jake was in the back with me. I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. A perfect end to a perfect night...and I was right where I wanted to be.

When I woke the next morning, I thought it had all been a dream until I was slammed with the most excruciating headache I’d ever felt. My mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton balls, and I could actually smell alcohol coming out of my pores. I didn’t remember drinking that much, but honestly, I didn’t think about much after the kiss. In fact, the last thing I remembered at all was getting in the car to come home.

I looked down at my clothes; everything was intact minus the shoes. Did Jake put me to bed? Did I act like Issy had the night before? I was horrified. How could I not remember?

I pulled myself out of bed and into the shower. My clothes smelled like smoke, and my eyes had large dark circles under them. How in the world could
Issy do this every night? It was already after twelve, and I started to panic. There was no way I was going to get my chapters read in time, not when I couldn’t even get my face to focus in the mirror. My body was full of toxins, and I couldn’t stop sweating, even in the shower. I threw my smelly clothes in the laundry bag and put on my running clothes. I had to get this stuff out of me.

In the kitchen I found a note on the fridge that said, “Hangover juice inside…you’re welcome.”  I was officially starving, but everything I looked at made my stomach turn. I took the green hangover juice and brought it up to my face. It smelled and tasted like the produce department in the grocery store. Disgusting…but I just kept thinking of the transformation
Issy had made and somehow managed to drink the thick liquid. 

My head was swimming. Where was Jake? Did I embarrass him? Did I throw myself at him? The butterflies were rampant in my stomach as I relived every moment of him touching me. “Enough!” I told myself as I grabbed my headsets and headed out the door.

I could only go a mile, and it was a slow one…lots of walking. The heat of the day and the exercise was making me sweat profusely, and I felt like my body was finally ridding itself of the alcohol. The only positive I could find was that I felt really skinny. I had practically gone twenty-four hours without eating and was sure I’d dropped at least two pounds between the run and the dancing.

I hated to admit it, but the green juice was really helping. 
Issy could sell that stuff and make a fortune. Ok, new plan of action. As soon as I got home, I would get dressed and head to the library. I still had time to get my work done if I really focused.

I walked into my apartment and stopped short when I saw Jake lounging on the couch watching TV. 

“There you are,” he said, sitting upright. “Here I was coming over to check on you, and you are already out running again. I’m impressed.”

My stomach fluttered
, and I smiled. “Oh, don’t be that impressed. You should have seen me an hour ago.”  I felt more nervous than ever, not knowing exactly how to act towards him after last night.

“It’s the hangover juice,” I heard
Issy call out from the kitchen. “We brought home some lunch if you’re hungry.”

“Yes, thank you. Let me go shower first.”

“Wow, you were hammered last night,” Issy recalled, walking into the living room, while she popped a grape in her mouth. I stopped at my door and cringed. “You totally passed out in the car, and Jake had to carry you up the stairs. If he wasn’t here, you’d probably still be passed out in T.J’s car.”

She acted like it was the most amusing event ever, but I was mortified. Not just at the fact I’d passed out, but that Jake had to carry me. The insecurities of childhood flooded my mind as I imagined him straining a
s he tried to manage my weight. I wanted to crawl into the biggest hole I could find and never come out. I shook my head and shut the door, tears streaming down my face the whole time I showered.