Something Worth Fighting For (34 page)

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To:
Ellie Ryker

From:
Atlas Ryker

August 2, 2014

It’s doctor day! I can’t wait to hear all about it. Talk to you soon. I love you all immensely, always.

             
-Atlas

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We were heading back from the doctor, Darcy had insisted on going with me since Atlas couldn’t. I was now holding even more pictures of our babies. They were a tiny bit bigger beans now than they were a few weeks ago. As soon as I was in the door I went to the computer and scanned the pictures in attaching them to an email to Atlas. I snapped a couple of pictures of my tummy in the bathroom mirror and sent those to the computer as well.

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To:
Atlas Ryker

From:
Ellie Ryker

August 2, 2014

A few pictures of our twinkies and the tiny bump they are making protrude from my stomach. I guess I can forgive them for that as long as their daddy still thinks I’m hot. I think I’m going to go to my dad’s this weekend and bring the pictures and him a case of beer and see what he says. Hope to hear from you soon. Be careful, please. I love you, always.

~Ellie + Twinkies

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I was feeling good today. The doctor had confirmed twins which I wasn’t sure whether I was excited or terrified about. She said that I would start showing sooner since there were two babies instead of one and that little bump was definitely caused by our twinkies. She answered the million questions Darcy and I threw at her with more patience than I had ever seen.

Ten minutes after I sent the email my phone started ringing. “Hello?” I picked up on the second ring.

“I think you are incredibly sexy.” Atlas laughed on the other end of the line.

“That’s very good to know.” I smiled as I sat on the bed, pulling my knees up to me.

“I love the pictures. I’m trying to talk someone into printing them out for me so I can take them with me. That would make it just about... Graduation day, I believe?”

“I think that’s about right.”

“Figures, first time coming back from not seeing you for five months. I probably could have impregnated a sock at that point.” I laughed, rolling my eyes.

“Well instead you thoroughly impregnated me.”

“Twice as much as the normal, super human sperm. It was much more fun than a sock.”

“I’m not even going to ask how you know about that...”

“Anyway!” He cut me off as I laughed. “How are you feeling?”

“Pretty good today actually. A little anxious since I won’t be hearing from you for a while but other then that we’re pretty good.”

“Don’t worry about me. Let me worry about you.”

“You don’t need to worry about me, you need to focus on your mission and staying safe.”

“Don’t tell me what to do, Ginger.” Atlas growled. “I’ll worry about you if I want.”

“I’ll worry about you if I want, Cowboy.” I threw back at him, causing him to laugh. “All is fair in love and war, babe.”

“What about being hopelessly in love during a war?”

“How about you just worry about coming home to me and your babies?”

“That I can do.”

“Good, I hope it’s sooner rather than later. Have you talked to Ma yet?” I asked, picking at the string on my leggings.

“No, I think I’m going to wait until I get back or something, I’m not sure. My dad is pretty excited though. I’m sure she will be too I just hate to tell her that her first grandchildren are coming over the phone or through email. It seems so impersonal.”

“That’s how I felt about telling you. I had known for a couple of weeks but I didn’t want to write you an email and be like hey guess what, I’m knocked up! It just didn’t seem right. I was going to wait until you were back but I didn’t want to be several months along and you be like super shocked. Darcy finally told me that either I told you or she was going to let Adam tell you and I wasn’t going to have that. Yes, Adam already knew Darcy told him as soon as she could.” Atlas was laughing as I rambled on. “I mean why would I want him to tell you when I could tell you but I just wanted it to be special and I ended up telling you over Skype of all things. I guess that’s better than through email though.”

“Pause, take a breath.” He said as I giggled.

“Sorry, I get carried away sometimes.”

“You know I’m just messing with you, beautiful.”

“I know, I just feel like I have to say everything at once because I don’t know when I’m going to get to talk to you again.”

“Just calm down, baby. Everything is going to be fine. You’ll hear from me soon. I can’t keep you worried. You know your dad checks in on me, right? If anything happens they will let him know and you’ll know right away.”

“I didn’t know that.” I smiled as tears stung my eyes. These hormones were going to be the death of me.

“Yeah, all the time, actually. I think he worries enough for both of us.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean he worries that something might happen to me and how that would effect you and thus ends up worrying about you just as much as he worries about me being over here. No matter what you’re still your daddy’s priority. Just so happens I became one of them too. Funny how a little time and marriage works.”

“He’s so wonderful but if he doesn’t keep me updated I’m going to have to kick his ass.” I scowled as Atlas chuckled.

“I think you’re the only person I’ve met that isn’t absolutely terrified of him. I mean I’ve seen him make big guys cry and you’re here having him wrapped around your finger. It’s sweet really, to think that guy has a heart after all. I was convinced for a while that he was made of stone.”

“Are we talking about the same Benjamin Grant? He’s a big teddy bear.”

“Of course he is to you, you’re his little girl!”

“Well you’ll be the same way if we have a little girl.”

“Man, I don’t even want to think about us having a little girl. If she looks like her Mama she’ll never be allowed to leave the house.” I could imagine Atlas rubbing his face, holding the back of his neck just thinking about it.

“I feel sorry for her already. If one of them is a girl that is.”

“When do you find out?”

“You should be home by then so we will be able to find out together. If not I’ll wait until you are so we can.”

“Really? You’ll wait so I can be there?”

“Of course, baby.”

“That will be perfect. I can’t wait.” He sounded like he was letting all of the air out of his lungs. “I have to go but I’ll email you before we leave, send me one too if you get some time.”

“For you? I have nothing but time. Be careful out there, please. We love you, always.”

“I will. I love you and the babies too, always.”

I held my breath as he hung up and laid the phone down on the bed, hoping that it wasn’t going to be the last time I spoke to him. My dad would definitely be hearing it for not letting me know he had the ability to check on him. Making me wait for weeks to hear that he’s okay. Ugh!

Darcy knocked softly on the door poking her head inside. “How you holding up?” She curled up in the bed with me.

“I’m okay. I’m worried but that’s to be expected, right? I just want this shit over with so I can stop constantly worrying about whether or not he’s going to come home to me. I hate waiting by the phone all hours of the day and night and sleeping with the laptop screen open. I mean we were married for two weeks before he had to leave again. That hardly seems fair.”

“I know, sweetie. I would just like to be able to go a day without wondering if Adam is being safe if him and Atlas are looking after each other.”

“I can assure you that they are. Those two are inseparable.”

“So when are you telling Pops?” She crossed her ankles as I laid back in the bed.

“Saturday, I figured I’d go over with some beer and cook him dinner and tell him then. I did tell Toby and Keller though.”

“Nice, I have to work or I would go over there with you.”

“No big deal, I’m not as worried about it anymore. I mean there is definitely no changing it so he can either get on board or get off at the next stop.”

“Wow, kind of harsh don’t you think?”

“Honestly? No. That’s why I’m not worried about it anymore.”

“Whatever you think, sweetie.” Darcy squeezed my hand before sliding off of the bed. “I’m going to go wait for my man to call.”

“Send him my love.” I waved as she walked out the door and pulled out my laptop to write my husband.

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To:
Atlas Ryker

From:
Ellie Ryker

August 2, 2014

Hey there handsome. It’s only been about an hour since I got off the phone with you but I miss the sound of your voice already. I know you said you would email me soon but I wanted to go ahead and send you yours just incase you didn’t have enough time to send me one and you would have one to take with you. What am I trying to say? My head is kind of scrambled right now after my talk with Darcy.

I can’t tell you how ready I am for all of this to be over. I think I say that every time I write to you. I’m just ready to be back in your arms, to hold you to me, to kiss you, to see your handsome face every morning when I wake up. To make you food in the middle of the night. Although it might be the other way around now. I sometimes feel like we got cheated only getting to be married for two weeks before you had to leave again. I know that’s a stupid way to see it but it’s a brutally honest thought. The best part of it though is knowing that you’re mine. You knowing that there is someone at home that loves you and is waiting for you, because baby, I am waiting.

I was thinking if one of the babies is a boy I would like to name him after my dad. Whether it’s his middle name or whatever doesn’t matter but it should definitely have Benjamin in there somewhere. What do you think? Maybe Benjamin Jackson? I don’t know, we have plenty of time to think about it but it’s nice to think about. At least it is to me, that might just be a girl thing though.

I think I’m avoiding the point of this email. I want you to be careful out there. Stay sharp, watch Adam’s six and make him watch yours. We need our guys to come home to us, especially me. I can’t raise two babies without you. You have to be here to teach them how to wiggle their ears,  ride a bike, and do the math homework we both know I can’t do math. So keep that in mind while you’re out there conquering the world.

You are the love of my life Atlas Quinn Ryker and there will never be another man that could ever compare to you. Be careful, please. We’re waiting for you. We love you, always.

             
~Ellie + Twinkies

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I fell asleep waiting for his reply. When I woke up the next morning it was there staring me in the face. Two messages from him just waiting for me. I stretched, ran to the bathroom, got sick, took my medicine, and came back to settle my stomach while I read them.

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To:
Ellie Ryker

From:
Atlas Ryker

August 3, 2014

My darling sweet wife, I absolutely adore you and all of your silly thoughts. You don’t ever have to worry about what you say to me. I don’t think you’re selfish or that it’s ridiculous or anything that you feel cheated. I feel cheated knowing I went twenty five years without you. One hundred years wouldn’t be enough time with you to satisfy me. I will find you in every life after this one as well.

Just knowing that you’re at home waiting for me, it makes the day seem so much easier here. Trust me there are some really shitty days here and then I think about you and getting to go home to you and those days just seem worth it.

I’m not going to lie and say these upcoming weeks are going to be a piece of cake or safe by any means but I will try my best to stay on my toes and be careful. You would know better than me telling you that shit will be all sunshine and rainbows. I’m not into bullshitting you. My Ma, sure, Ares, yeah for the most part, you, you know better.  But I won’t be like Eddie, I won’t intentionally put myself in danger. I will come home to you.

I love you, Penelope. Today, tomorrow, for the rest of my life. You are not alone and you never will be. I’ll talk to you soon. I love you, always.

              -Atlas

To:
Ellie Ryker

From:
Atlas Ryker

August 3, 2014

We just got word to load up a day early. I’m leaving in a few hours. I just wanted to let you know. I’ll be careful, promise. I love you and the babies. Rub your belly for me. I love you.