The Art of Manliness: Classic Skills and Manners for the Modern Man (23 page)

Time to go solo.
Once you think your kid has his balance and braking skills down, it’s time to take off the training wheels and let him go solo. This can be a big step, so be empathetic but firm. Find a flat surface with plenty of room for riding. An empty parking lot is good place. Make sure your child is wearing a helmet. You want to protect that soft noggin of his. Get him on the bike and hold the back of the bike seat. Tell him to start pedaling. Run alongside while holding the back of the seat. Offer some encouraging words and tell him to keep looking forward. When you feel like he has his balance, let go of the bike’s seat. To avoid a possible freak-out and an ensuing spill, don’t tell him you’re letting go.

Figure 5.6 Make sure your child is wearing a helmet. Get him on the bike and hold the back of the bike seat. Tell him to start pedaling. Run alongside while holding the back of the seat.

Put on the brakes.
Your kid might not have any problems with starting, but she might have some trouble stopping by herself. When you’re first teaching your kid to ride, it’s a good idea to stay close to her side in case she needs some help stopping. Eventually, though, it’s just something she has to learn, even if this means falling.

Administer first aid as needed.
If your kid crashes and burns after you let go, first stifle any urge to laugh out loud. Then check to make sure he’s not injured. If you don’t see any protruding bones or road rash, dust off his behind and get him back on the bike. If he garnered some war wounds, take him inside and patch him up.

Get ’em back on the horse.
It’s important to encourage your kid to get right back on the bike; allowing her to stew on her crash will only increase her trepidation about making another ride. Repeat that sage line from
Batman
: “Why do we fall, Master [insert child’s name here]? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.” After you get your kid pumped, repeat the process above until she can ride solo.

If your son or daughter still refuses to get back in the saddle, have them watch some inspiring movies that show the dazzling possibilities a bike can open up to a kid, such as
E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial
or
The Goonies
. They’ll be back on their bike and hunting for buried treasure in no time.

Manly Advice: Braid Your Daughter’s Hair

Mom’s out of town or maybe you’re a single dad. What are you going to do when your daughter asks you to braid her hair? Braiding looks difficult, but once you do it a few times you’ll be a pro. Here’s how it’s done.

1. Make sure her hair is brushed out. You don’t want any tangles in her hair or braiding will be next to impossible. Give it a few brushes to straighten it out.

2. Divide her hair into three even sections.

3. Take the right section and cross it over the center section.

4. Take the left section and cross it over the center section (which was formerly the right section).

Figure 5.7 Take the left section and cross it over the center section.

5. Take the new right section and cross it over the center section. (You are always crossing a side piece over the middle, just alternating sides.)

Figure 5.8 Take the new right section and cross it over the center section.

6. Repeat until you get a couple of inches from the end of your daughter’s hair. You can tighten the braid by pulling the center section in a horizontal line as you pull it to the right or left.

Figure 5.9 Repeat until you get a couple of inches from the end of the hair.

7. Secure the end of the braid with a hair elastic.

You can do braided pigtails the same way. Just divide her hair into two even halves. Start on the right half and divide it into three even sections. Braid. Repeat on the left side.

Entertain the Kids

It’s the eternal refrain of kids everywhere: “We’re bored!” When you hear this plaintive cry, you can do as our moms did and suggest the completion of a chore as the solution to the problem. Or you can be the cool dad and corral the kids into doing a fun activity. The following are three activities that cost little to no money, will unhook your children’s brains from Playstation’s deeply embedded tethers and will further cement your awesome dad status. Of course, you may have to learn or brush up on these skills yourself, so here’s your chance.

How to Skip a Stone

Taking your kids to a nearby pond is a surefire way to cure their cabin fever. A pond provides a myriad of free activities: watching the wildlife, feeding the ducks and, of course, skipping stones. Skipping stones is a great way to bond with your kids. You can talk about life while you’re throwing stones across the water. If it’s been awhile since you’ve skipped a stone or if you never have, read through the following steps.

Pick the right stone. The key to successful stone skipping is the stone. Ideally it should be flat, of uniform thickness—or thinness—and about the size of your palm. It should weigh about as much as a tennis ball or whatever you can comfortably throw. Too heavy and your projectile won’t launch aerodynamically; too light and it’ll be like heaving a sponge.

Hold the stone between your thumb and middle finger, with your thumb on top, and your index finger hooked along the edge.

Stand facing the water at a slight angle. With the rock in your hand, pull your arm back like you’re going to throw a sidearm pitch. As you throw the rock, cock your wrist back. Right before you release the stone, give your wrist a quick flick. This will create the spin needed for the stone to skip across the water. Also, the lower your arm is when you release the stone, the better the skip you’ll get.

Figure 5.10 Stand facing the water at a slight angle. With the rock in your hand, pull your arm back. As you throw the rock, cock your wrist back. Right before you release the stone, give your wrist a quick flick.

Throw out and down at the same time. The stone should hit the water as parallel to the surface as possible. If you want to get the most skips, the stone should enter the water at a 10 degree angle. Scientists in 2002 (evidently taking a break from designing rockets for a groundbreaking study on stone skipping) were able to calculate this as the perfect angle for maximizing skips.

Try throwing as fast as you can—quickness is the key. Release the stone with a sharp wrist snap to give it some spin; then watch it skip.

If your kid (or you) can’t get a skip the first few tries, keep at it. Stone skipping, like all things in life, takes practice. Use the time together to talk and connect.

How to Fold a Paper Airplane

When it comes to teaching your kids how to fold a paper airplane, you can get fancy with complex origami-like folds, but simple is usually better. Below is a time-tested paper airplane design that flies straight for long distances.

1. Get a piece of rectangular paper: notebook paper, printer paper, any paper will do. Printer paper is the best because it has an ideal weight for paper airplanes.

2. Fold the paper in half lengthwise. Precision is key, so make sure the edges line up. Once you make the initial crease, go back over it again with your thumb to make it sharper.

3. Open the paper back up. Take the right top corner and fold it down toward the crease. You should have a triangular flap. Again, make sure the edges line up.

4. Repeat with the other side. Fold the left top corner down toward the crease.

5. You will now repeat steps 3 and 4. Take the right diagonal edge of your triangle and fold it down to the original crease. Line up the edges and make a sharp crease.

6. Repeat on the other side. Fold the left diagonal edge into the crease.