The Art of Manliness: Classic Skills and Manners for the Modern Man (34 page)

• Work as state legislator, police commissioner and governor in New York

• Own and work a ranch in the Dakotas

• Serve as Assistant Secretary of the Navy

• Organize the First U.S. Volunteer Cavalry Regiment and lead these Rough Riders on a charge up San Juan Hill during the Spanish-American War

• Serve as president for two terms, then run for an unprecedented third term

• Become the first president to leave the country during his term (to check on the Panama Canal, the construction of which he negotiated)

• Become an historian and pen thirty-five books

• Read tens of thousands of books—several a day in multiple languages

• Jointly lead a scientific expedition that would cover 900 miles of Amazonian wilderness

• Discover, navigate and be named after a completely uncharted Brazilian river

• Volunteer to lead an infantry unit into WWI at age 59

• Become the first American to win the Nobel Peace Prize

TR accomplished all of this, and yet never read self-help books, had a life coach or pasted pictures of his goals to a vision board. His “secret” to success was the same as every great man of history: He worked harder, longer and more efficiently than the next guy.

Manly Advice: The Benefits of Industriousness

Great achievements like TR’s are not the only reward for hard work; industriousness also provides many benefits to a man’s life and character.

Industriousness develops self-respect. Think back to the last time you wasted an entire day playing video games. Sure, it was fun while you were kicking butt at Halo, but when you finally turned off the console at 4
a.m.
, how did you feel? Probably like a useless bum. Putting in an honest day’s work lets you look at yourself in the mirror without feeling ashamed.

Industriousness fights depression. Idleness may not be the devil’s playground, but it is quite possibly depression’s romper room. Men are wired to want to feel useful, to make and provide things for others. The shiftless, sluggardly man, robbed of a sense of identity and purpose, often feels lost and unhappy. Work provides a man with meaning and direction and creates a life of satisfied contentment.

Industriousness gives meaning to leisure. A man will fervently pine for a break from school or work and when he finally gets one, the pleasure of the initial week off is exquisite. The second week is equally refreshing. By the third week a certain antsiness sets in. Any longer and a man will soon feel rather lost and unmoored. Leisure is meaningless when not juxtaposed beside work. The harder your work, the more pleasurable the breaks become.

Becoming More Industrious

Find meaning in your work.
There’s an old parable in which a traveler passes a quarry which is supplying stone for the building of a university. The traveler sees three men working. He asks the men what they are doing. While each man has the same job, their answers reveal three different perspectives on the nature of their work.

The first replies, “I’m cutting stone.”

The second man answers, “I’m earning three gold pieces per day.”

The third man smiles and says, “I am helping build a temple of learning.”

Implement the 48/12 rule.
Being industrious is good, but if you’re a human being, you’re going to need breaks to avoid a mental breakdown. One way to ensure that you get the breaks your mind and body needs is to implement the 48/12 rule in your life. Work nonstop for forty-eight minutes. When the forty-eight minutes is up, take a break for twelve. As soon as the twelve minutes are up, get back to work. You’ll be surprised how much you can get done in a day by implementing this rule.

Find ways to be industrious, even in leisure.
When you have time away from the work that earns you a living, make use of your leisure time by pursuing activities that will make you a better man and leave you energized and ready to take on the coming week. Instead of spending time sacked out in front of the TV watching VH1’s
I Love the 90s
marathon, explore pursuits that will truly rejuvenate you.

Sincerity

“Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and if you speak, speak accordingly.”

“This above all: to thine own self be true,

And it must follow, as the night the day,

Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

For many people, the first line of this famous passage from
Hamlet
sums up the definition of personal sincerity. Unfortunately readers too often stop there, seeing the line simply as inspiration for a private, internal struggle to be true to oneself. But Shakespeare presented this advice not as an isolated pursuit or an end in itself but as the means and basis for having sincere, honest relationships with others.

How to Be Sincere

“Private and public life are subject to the same rules—truth and manliness are two qualities that will carry you through this world much better then policy or tact or expediency or other words that were devised to conceal a deviation from a straight line.”

—Robert E. Lee

Keep confidences.
Most men would never dream of robbing a bank or stealing their friends’ possessions. But many men are far less careful with an equally valuable piece of property: private information. You should consider the confidential information given you as money in a trust; you are the guardian, but you are not allowed to spend it.

If others press you to reveal something secret that you know, I recommend the following as an excellent retort: Draw the information seeker close to you and whisper, “Can you keep a secret?” Your friend will then answer, “Of course!” At this point put your hand on his shoulder and say, “Well, so can I.”

Walk the walk, talk the talk.
Never pass yourself off for something you are not. Let your professed beliefs, affiliations, dress and “Favorites” on Facebook reflect your actual convictions.

Keep your promises.
Always,
always
follow through with the things you have said you will do. A man’s word is his bond. If you tell your friend that you’ll hang out with him, and then the girl you like invites you over, too bad. You already made other plans.

Don’t be a chameleon.
Every man is a bit different at work, at home and with friends. But the core of yourself should remain unchanged no matter where you go or who you meet.

Curb your sarcasm.
Without a doubt, sarcasm is a tempting weapon to wield. A well-timed zinger can sometimes produce comedic gold or instantly put an obnoxious cad in his place. Yet for some men, hardly a word falls from their mouth that is not dripping with sarcasm. In attempting to shield others from their real thoughts and feelings, it becomes their conversational crutch. But sarcasm is a tool that’s most effective when used in moderation, for several reasons.

• Sarcasm is often the refuge of the weak. It is employed by men who either don’t have a valid argument to put forth or are too much of a pansy to say what is really on their minds. The ambiguity of sarcasm allows a man to either take credit for a thought that is well received or play it off as “just a joke” if it’s rejected. If you have something to say, just say it.

• Sarcasm can hurt people’s feelings. It’s often a fine line between good-natured ribbing and a really stinging comment. While you know you are only joking, others might take what you say to heart. Friends and coworkers will come to fear your scathing put-downs and avoid your company.

• Sarcasm breeds mistrust. If everything you say is tinged with sarcasm, people around you will question your sincerity every time you open your mouth. They will assume that what you’re saying is just a joke and shouldn’t be taken seriously. Do you really want that to happen when you ask the girl of your dreams to marry you? I didn’t think so.

Justice

“Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.”

Justice dictates that those who uphold laws, rules and standards are rewarded. Those who do not are punished. Unfortunately the scales of justice are too often out of balance, with the honest, hardworking man getting the shaft, and the cheating weasel making off like a bandit. This makes stories like that of Leonard Abess Jr. all the more refreshing. After selling his majority stake in the bank over which he presided, Abess took sixty million of that money and distributed it to the bank’s 399 employees, even tracking down 72 who had previously worked for him. Why’d he do it? Abess said he didn’t need the money himself and had long understood that it was the little guys down on the ladder that made the bank a success. ‘‘I saw that if the president doesn’t come to work, it’s not a big deal,” he said. “But if the tellers don’t show up, it’s a serious problem.” Abess wanted to give his employees a just reward.

How to Develop the Virtue of Justice

Develop knowledge. To be a just man you must develop knowledge of the rights and responsibilities that govern your family, community and nation. You must have a firm grasp of history, cultures, ideas and current events. You can develop the knowledge necessary to exercise justice with wisdom by doing the following:

• Read good books. Make it a goal to read as many of the classic works of literature that you can during your lifetime. All great books struggle with complex issues that require characters to grapple with the concept of justice. By reading great literature, you develop the knowledge needed to sift through and weigh life’s sticky issues.

• Read/watch reputable news sources. Whether online or in print form, every man should read at least one newspaper a day. Read sources with both a liberal and conservative slant in order to get a balanced viewpoint. By keeping abreast of current events, you’ll begin to see the amount of injustice in the world, develop the ability to make judgments on how to solve these injustices and be inspired to take action.

• Travel and leave your comfort zone. When the opportunity arises, visit a foreign country and seek out places and people not found in the travel guides. Immersing yourself in different cultures will enrich your views and ideas.

Areas Where We Can Exercise Justice

“Do not act as if thou wert going to live ten thousand years. Death hangs over thee. While thou livest, while it is in thy power, be good.”

—Marcus Aurelius

Justice in your community.
The greatest force for good is undertaken on a one-to-one basis. Many people in your community didn’t receive a fair start in life. We can serve the cause of justice by helping them rise to a level playing field. Find a way to volunteer and perform service for others. Become a Big Brother or Boy Scout leader and mentor a young lad on his journey to becoming a man.

Justice in your country.
Many men today have grown quite cynical about politics, but apathy only makes civic life worse. Nothing will ever change unless good men start caring. So read up on the issues. Get actively involved in campaigns. Help get the good guys in power and the corrupt bastards kicked out.

Justice in the world.
If you wish to fight global injustices, you must do more than attend “awareness raising” concerts decked out in an “awareness raising” T-shirt. Instead join the Peace Corps or work for UNICEF. If all you can do is donate money, make sure to donate it to reputable nongovernmental agencies or to fund microloans to enable people in developing countries to start small businesses.

Moderation

“Avoid extremes. Forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.”