“
I don’t,” Jaime said, sounding confused, and a little offended. “It’s nothing like what I feel towards you.”
“
Then I don’t know what it is. But I know how I feel towards him, and I won’t have Nikolas walk away thinking I don’t.” He looked at his friend, who had his hands clenched in fists, and seemed almost distressed. “I’ve just made it all a lot worse, haven’t I?”
Stupid, stupid....
Why was it all such a mess?
He tore himself away from Jaime, and walked over to the window, stared out into the twilight. Now Jaime would be jealous and Nikolas confused, and he himself just didn’t
know
what to do any more. “Please—forget I said any of that.”
He heard quiet footsteps behind him, and arms slid around his waist. Gentle lips kissed his back, his shoulder. “No—you were honest, more than me,” Jaime said.
And then there were another pair of arms around him, and more kisses, this time to his cheek. “I love you,” Nikolas said quietly. “And I’ll stay with you tonight.”
Seve clenched his jaw. “Not if it hurts you.”
“
It won’t.” Nikolas reached around and took his hand. “Look at me. Look at us.”
Reluctantly, he did so—and found Nikolas and Jaime holding hands, their free ones outstretched towards him. “It’s all right, Seve love,” Jaime said. “It is, I swear.”
He came towards them. As one, lover and friend drew him close, fed him the love and affection and touch that he
craved
, and he knew this was right, this was perfect. Both of them, together, with him. Even if it was just this one night—this was his heaven.
~~~~~~~~
Jaime’s heart was racing—he felt like he was on the edge of a cliff, and he couldn’t tell if the hand on his back was going to push him over or haul him back. He was working so hard to keep up with Seve and the rapidly changing situation, but he felt like a dullard. Seve had made the leap of faith, had been brave enough to admit his feelings—but Jaime couldn’t, because he simply didn’t know how he felt or what it was.
He only had to look at Seve’s face to know his lover was at peace and happy. Nikolas...wasn’t so sure, and that was because of him, Jaime knew. He was too tired for this, that was one thing he
was
sure of.
“
Let’s just go to bed,” he murmured.
Nikolas took them by the hand and led them over to it—it was too hot for blankets, especially with the three of them, so it ended up with them just lying on the sheets, Seve, as if it was perfectly natural, in the middle. Nikolas took Jaime’s hand and held it across Seve’s flat stomach, as he laid his head on Seve’s shoulder. “I’ve had less tiring days,” he said wryly.
Jaime couldn’t help but agree. “I think we all have. Seve, are you comfortable?”
His lover’s big arms went around them both and he squeezed tight. “I’m
very
comfortable,” he declared with a grin. Jaime laughed at his enthusiasm, at the happiness in his voice, and wondered if the goodmother who’d owned this bed before them would be shocked if she could see the way it was being used now.
He let Nikolas’ hand go, so he could lay his own down flat on Seve’s stomach. He was just so very, very tired, and sick of his emotions tossing him about like a skiff on the open ocean, and he just wanted this, to be close to Seve—and to Nikolas. No Minas, no anguish. Just the two people dearest to him in the world. His family, in a way. The only one he’d ever known.
He closed his eyes, his face resting on Seve’s shoulder, content to listen to the even sound of Seve’s breathing, the sound to which he’d fallen asleep for so much of his life, and which had felt so wrong when it was missing. Nikolas...had replaced it for a little while, given him comfort, given him strength. He had been a surrogate for Seve, but also a friend in his own right. Seve had been the only other person who had stood by him, stood up for him, the way Nikolas had.
Jaime began to drift off, lulled by his weariness and the sudden peace after a difficult day. But then he noticed a slight hitch in Seve’s breathing, a slight tension that hadn’t been there before. He opened his eyes, and saw Nikolas’ hand moving gently, back and forth over Seve’s stomach. Back and forth across pale, perfect skin, up to caress one pink nipple as softly as a breeze, then down to briefly circle Seve’s tight navel. Seve’s breath hitched again—Jaime looked up, but Seve had his eyes closed, and Jaime couldn’t tell from this angle if he was distressed or excited. Until he looked down again and saw that Seve was, astonishingly, erect.
Nikolas was concentrating on his task, apparently focused only on this delicate worship of Seve’s stomach. But Jaime very much doubted he was unaware of the effect he was having—or the significance of it.
Nikolas suddenly looked at him. ‘Kiss him,’ he mouthed, glancing upwards.
Jaime shifted, and kissed Seve’s clenched jaw. “It’s me, Seve love,” he whispered. “Only me.”
“
And me,” Nikolas said quietly, placing his lips on the tender skin below Seve’s shoulder. “You can move, Severin. You can touch us. Remember that.”
Jaime jumped a little as he felt fingers moving on his back. “That’s me, Seve. Touch me.”
‘
Keep talking,’ Nikolas mouthed at him. Jaime understood—remind Seve where he was, who he was with—and more important, who he was
not
with.
Nikolas continued his caresses, while Jaime concentrated on Seve’s now responsive and needy mouth. This, Minas had never done to him, he was sure, so his kisses wouldn’t remind Seve of anyone else. And while Seve had his eyes shut, Jaime’s face couldn’t bring back memories either. His voice, quiet and calm, hadn’t been heard in that long captivity, so he could use it too, remind Seve of the time before his imprisonment, when they were just two young lovers, living an uneventful life in the temple, not knowing what fate and Minas had in store for them.
Seve shuddered as Jaime kissed him deeply, and Jaime found his hand being guided to touch Seve’s stomach where Nikolas’ had been—but where was Nikolas?
He looked down—Nikolas was kissing Seve too, but lower, working carefully, so very slowly and with infinite tenderness, down Seve’s belly, at his hips, inexorably towards that wonderful sight, Seve’s erect manhood. Nikolas glanced at Jaime and frowned ever so slightly—‘get on with it,’ he was saying. Because if this was to work at all, it had to be both of them, Jaime realised.
“
Safe with us,” Jaime murmured, then kissed Seve again, tasting him, drinking him, smelling the very slight scent of him, freshly washed and healthy, pumpwater and soap clinging faintly to his stubbled skin, Jaime’s tongue rasping over two days’ beard and soft, mobile lips. He swallowed the quick, quiet cry as Nikolas finally reached what he’d been inching towards. “Safe,” Jaime repeated. He found Seve’s hand, reaching around Nikolas, and tangled his fingers with Seve’s. “Feel us. Feel him. Feel me, Seve.”
Seve was trembling unceasingly now, his eyes squeezed tight as if he was in agony—but there was no attempt to escape, no attempt to push either of them away, and when Jaime moved close, Seve’s mouth eagerly sought his, and his fingers scrabbled desperately at Jaime’s back, gripping him painfully and pulling him in tightly, possessively, needily.
Seve’s body was like a strung bow, arching into Nikolas’ mouth—Jaime held him down, but carefully, not wanting to restrain him or remind him in any way of those hideous evenings in the temple. He murmured, whispering Seve’s name, whispering how much he loved him, that he was safe, reassuring him as he’d not been reassured for all those lonely years.
With a jerk and another muffled cry, Seve arched and came, his fingers bruisingly hard on Jaime’s back and his eyes flying open in his surprise and pleasure, mouth wide and gasping. “Easy, love, easy,” Jaime said, gentling him, petting him as he felt the last tremors of a so very long-delayed climax, proof that he
could
come, and was still a man and whole. Even if it hadn’t been Jaime who’d given him this, he thought regretfully.
His hand was gripped—he looked down. Nikolas had set Seve’s manhood free, and now wanted Jaime to cover it with his hand, cradling it, caressing it. Repossessing it, Jaime thought, cupping it as carefully as he would a small, helpless creature, feeling it curled and trusting under his palm. Nikolas moved back, though he was still lying in the crook of Seve’s arm, the only contact his fingers gentle on Seve’s stomach once again. It was Jaime now who was in charge of Seve’s pleasure, his mouth that swallowed the rapid, shallow breaths, and his hand on his lover’s cock.
“
Look at me, Seve love. See
me
.”
Seve’s extraordinary leaf-green eyes, full of tears, stared at him. “Jai...it’s you.”
“
And him,” Jaime felt compelled to say.
Nikolas moved in a little. “Both of us, Seve. Jaime and me, for you. Don’t cry,” he said, wiping a tear from under Seve’s eye with his thumb. “You’re safe.”
“
I’m safe,” he whispered, then crushed them close. “I’m safe and I love you both. Don’t leave me.”
“
I won’t,” Jaime promised. Nikolas kissed Seve in the hollow of his throat, and laid his head on his shoulder again. His eyes were sad, and Jaime suddenly couldn’t bear that they were sad. He reached over and cupped Nikolas’ cheek. “Never leave us,” he murmured.
“
Jaime....”
“
Please?”
Nikolas twisted and kissed the palm of Jaime’s hand, gentle lips warm against his skin. “All right.”
Jaime felt something...ease...in his chest at those words. He knew what he was asking, and he knew what Nikolas was giving up. He felt...very soon...he could say the words that would make that sacrifice worth it. Or so he could only hope.
~~~~~~~~
Seve heard the quiet, emotion-charged exchange between his companions, and scarcely dared breathe. Did Jaime really know what he was doing? Did he realise how much he could hurt them all, if he didn’t?
Jaime and Nikolas were staring at each other, so much in their eyes unsaid. Seve could only hope the affection he knew Jaime felt for Nikolas would be enough to protect their friend.
But there was more than that needed now—he could feel Nikolas’ erection against his leg, and he remembered that both men had told him that Jaime had never returned Nikolas’ attentions. That was wrong.
He rolled over, dislodging Jaime, so he was facing Nikolas, then kissed him, as hard and passionately as they had in the garden, as eager to taste and explore Nikolas’ still unfamiliar taste, the feel of him, to claim him. He felt Jaime’s arm snake over his waist, and when he glanced down, he smiled to see Jaime’s hand firmly in charge of Nikolas’ cock. “Let us make love to you,” he whispered, staring into Nikolas’ surprised green eyes.
“
You don’t need....”
“
We certainly do,” he asserted. He sat up, resting against the sturdy wooden headboard, and pulled Nikolas up with him, positioning him so he was in front of Seve, between his spread legs. Seve tucked one possessive arm around his waist. “Now—you’re going to let us look after you, understand?”
Nikolas twisted around to look at him. “Yes, of course, my lord Seve. I am but your obedient servant.”
“
That’d make a change,” Jaime muttered.
“
Behave, both of you. Jaime—that end is yours, I get this one.”
“
What am I, a side of beef?” Nikolas complained.
“
A treasured companion, Nikolas,” Seve said quietly, bending forward to kiss him. “Now turn around and let us do this.”
He didn’t take for granted the absolute trust and acceptance in Nikolas’ eyes, and vowed to himself that he’d die before betraying them. Nikolas turned around, and rested against his chest, apparently content to let them do what they willed with him.
Jaime was kneeling between Nikolas’ and Seve’s outstretched legs—he was hard, and his dark skin was flushed a little with desire, but yet he was uncertain. “Plans, my lord Severin?”
“
Only for pleasure, my lord Jaime,” he said, poking his tongue out at his lover and raising a startled laugh out of him.
“
Do I get any say in this?” Nikolas muttered, making absolutely no attempt to free himself.
“
Only if you hate it,” Seve said, then kissed him under the ear. “But we don’t want to hurt you,” he whispered. He knew what it was like to feel afraid when he was supposed to be enjoying himself. “We won’t hurt you,” he promised.
“
Of course you won’t,” Nikolas said. “Jaime, you might find the liniment some use.”
Jaime reached over for the jar, frowning. “Isn’t this medicinal?”
“
Good for what ails you,” Seve said. “Er...isn’t it?”
“
It’s used for all kinds of things,” Nikolas said, a smile in his voice, even though Seve couldn’t see his face. “For instance, it’s a very interesting sensation when applied...to the lower end of your side of beef.”