Destructive Silence (The Destructive Series) (24 page)

I walk out to where Becca is waiting for me in the hallway. “Woo hoo, girlie you are beautiful. Those girls aren’t going to have anything on you.” I’m wearing a simple deep purple dress with heels. I’m thankful I’m almost at my pre-Prego figure. I s
till have a little pooch to work on, but I’m not stressing about it. Evan is my complete focus now, not my body.

“Becca, I’m married. I’m not looking for a sugar daddy.”

“Well, maybe you should, because the asshat you’re married to doesn’t give a shit about spending time with his wife.”

“You know Becca, just because a thought pops in your head doesn’t mean it should come out of your mouth. We are working on things. He’s been really sweet since Evan was born and has been trying.” I gawk at her.

“I’m sorry, love. That asshole makes me flip my bitch switch. I think the pig is whacked out for leaving his gorgeous wife at home to go out.”

“Becca,” I warn. “I don’t want to get into it now.” I didn’t bother telling her I never asked him where he was going tonight.
We are taking it slow and I don’t want to involve him in my night with the girls.

“Love, one day you’ll see what everyone else sees. I promise I won’t be that friend to say I told you so, but I think
denial has you blinded. He may apologize, but remember I heard what he said to you. That is not all right in any situation. I’m only thinking of you, honey. I don’t want to get a call one day that you are in the hospital, or worse, that Evan’s in the hospital. I will be here for you but it doesn’t mean I like what you’re putting yourself through. I will try my hardest to watch what comes out of my mouth. You can only expect so much self-control out of this whipper-snapper.” She smiles teasingly.

I hear Lane and Trish honk the car horn for us. “Whatever. I d
on’t want to talk about him right now. Let’s go have some fun.” I pull her towards the door with my arm around her shoulder. “Oh wait, I’ll be right back.” I turn quickly to give my favorite little man, Evan, one more smooch before heading out.

Trish is driving us tonight. The girls wanted to make sure I wouldn’t have a care in the world tonight. They have been awesome while trying to help me through this difficult time. I couldn’t ask for better friends and family. Once we walk through the doors of the
club, I smile at the girls. They know I’m ready to take over the night on the dance floor. Now that I’m here, my body is so excited to cut loose. We order waters and take our usual spot just off the dance floor to take in the scene. I was ready to dance as soon as we paid our cover, but I know I must hydrate first. Evan doesn’t need a lethargic and dehydrated mom tomorrow morning. That little man is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I thank God every day for giving him to me. I know I’m a young mom and it’s not the most ideal time to have a child, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Becca is right behind me
, throwing her water bottle away. We look at each other with big eyes at the song the DJ just began playing. Oh yes, ‘That’s Not My Name’ by The Ting Tings. It’s time to get on the dance floor. I look over at Trish and Lane and they are clearly not ready to dance. They roll their eyes at us. Becca and I love to sing this song at the top of our lungs acting like two crazy girls. I’m so happy having a baby hasn’t changed anything about our friendship. Becca simply adores Evan and he reciprocates the feelings. I am very blessed for the people in my life.

I’ve mentally decided to give Caine another chance. It’s taken a lot to persuade me. I’m trying to
keep him at an arm’s length to protect my heart, but who the hell am I kidding? I never stopped loving him and as bad as it got, I still love him. He is Evan’s dad after all and as long as he’s a good father, he is welcome in his life.

Becca and I mouth the words ‘It’s not my name, it’s not my name.’ We are dancing in our own magical world with the song taking over our brains. As this song finishes, Robin Thicke’s ‘Blurred Lines’ flows through the speakers, causing Becca and I to get energized by the up-te
mpo. We dance closely, throwing our bodies back and forth to the beat. This is such an amazing song to make you feel good. We cause unwanted commotion on the dance floor. I’m so caught up in moving to the rhythm that I don’t realize what’s going on around me. I love this song because I am a good girl right?
Right!
Before the song ends, I look up at Becca and smile. She wears a look on her face that I can’t read. I go back to my world after smiling at her. Usher’s ‘Love in this Club’ begins to play and my hips move slower to the electric beats in tune to the instruments. I close my eyes and feel the music. The beat pulses my body, describing the emotions through my movements. I twist my midsection and my arms begin to move toward the ceiling. The lights are exploding around the dance floor and sweat begins to trickle done the sides of my face, causing my hair to stick to it. Suddenly, I feel a hand on my hip and I quickly spin around to tell the jerkoff no. Becca and I came here to dance, not to hook up. My heart stops suddenly and I have to remind myself to breathe.

OMG, it’s Caine.

That must be why Becca gave me the look earlier. I wonder if she knew he was behind me the entire time.
Fuck!
‘I know you’re scared baby we don’t know what we’re doing’ the lyrics sing. His hands grab my hips to pull me closer. My legs go weak from longing for his intimate touch and embrace. I am so in love with him; I need to stop pretending. My feelings for this man are so intense that I cannot think straight when I’m in his presence. Having him here, staring at me with his intoxicating eyes is helping to break down the remaining barriers between us.

We’ve always had a magnetic pull on the dance floor. His hips pulse with mine as Usher sings ‘Baby let me love you down.’ And oh yes, at this moment, he can love me down for God’s sake. His arm moves to the small of my back to pull me in closer. Dammit, he is growing in excitement. Has he missed this as much as I’ve missed it? I’m an emotional mess at the moment. I want him so bad. His other hand works its way into my hair, bringing my face inches from his. The warmth of his breath is sending blood to the pit of my stomach. He gently pulls my hair to move my head back to see the lust in my eyes. He knows exactly what the fuck he’s doing and I’m unable to fight back my emotions.

His mouth moves to my ear, breath heavy as he says, “Oh, baby you got it all.” The heat of his mouth moves along to my jaw and seals my mouth. He doesn’t need to ask for entrance, as my mouth is already open from the heady combination. After last night and this afternoon, I give up. I allow my body to lose control. It’s been too long since I’ve felt this and if this is the last time I feel this, I’ll make the most of it.

The
hand that’s on my back moves south to cup my rear, pushing me into his cock. I’m on the verge of exploding from my longing for him. He deepens the kiss, taking me prisoner. My lips are already swollen from his eagerness. He pulls back, taking my bottom lip with him. I cannot believe I forgot how great a lover he is. His kisses earlier today were gentle compared to now. His lips follow down my jaw, then down to my neck, sending excitement throughout my body. He finds my ear and sucks on its. My arms are on his biceps. I hear him groan, causing a moan to erupt from me. I am so ready for him to take me right here, right now. We’ve been through so much the past year and we deserve this. We need to be together; I think I believe him when he said we were meant to be. I wonder what this means for our future if I give into him. I know he is feeling this too; his actions are speaking louder than words. He wants me just as bad.

He pulls back to look at me with hooded eyes full of desire. I am immobilized by his stare. He moves my hips in tune with the music and his ha
nds begin to explore my body again. They work their way along my sides as if he has never touched me before. His caress is empowering and fucking sexy as hell. I’ve moved my hands to his shoulders. I’m almost too scared to move them, afraid I might lose this moment. I’m trying to burn it into my memory. As great as this feels, I’m not stupid, only human, and I cannot deny missing this with him. Selena Gomez’s ‘Come and Get It’ begins and the heat picks up between us. Caine pulls my leg up around his waist like he used to. His fullness presses in my entrance. My body has taken over my thoughts of reality. I am only aware of Caine and the trance he has put me in. My hands move to his back and take in the plethora of muscles under them. This is heaven. I miss this. I wonder if Lane and Trish have seen me on the dance floor with Caine. Lane is going to have a freaking conniption if so.

Caine leans into my ear, “I miss this Lacey; I miss you so fucking much. I was honest yesterday when I told you I wish we coul
d go back in time. I would do so many things differently.” I pull back to look into his eyes. I believe he’s being honest. He has that look in his eyes. I’m speechless.

We continue to move to the music. Letting go of my leg, he spins me around, placing his hand along my stomach, to remove the distance between us. God I love this. His hot, heavy breath is on my neck and my panties become wet
ter. I want a night to forget everything that’s happened. I want him so bad. My hips move with his and his hardness is pushing into me. Do I have the ability to take him back this soon? We have so much to work out, but my hormones are beginning to get the best of me.

I close my eyes to embrace this moment. I know he would take me if I wanted him to. Do I? I think I need to get some air. I pull away,
turn, and look him in the eyes. I think he knows exactly what I am saying in this moment. “I need some water,” I tell him. He nods and we make our way over to the bar where we find Lane and Trish in a booth. Lane’s eyes grow wide and I give her a look to ‘shut up.’ Becca apparently found Lucas and they begin to make their way over to the booth as well. We all sit at a booth and order drinks. Even though Lane is the designated driver, she orders a screwdriver. I know she is fully capable of having two or three and still be sober enough to drive, so I don’t question her. Trish orders the same drink. Becca and I ask for another bottle of water. Caine and Lucas order beers, of course.
Wait, what?

We dive into our drinks. Caine finishes his beer and excuses himself to use the
men’s room. Becca and I are caught up in a conversation and I nod to Caine. Becca is asking about the new developments in Evan. I swear she is in love with that little heartthrob. God help me when he gets older; he will have the girls chasing after him. After a few moments, I excuse myself to use the ladies room. I make my way through the club, fully expecting to see Caine on his way back since there is usually a shorter line for the men than there is for women. Oh well.

I walk in and am surprised by the lack of a line. I walk past a couple of stalls to get to the open one. I hear moaning. For fuck’s
sake, someone is having sex in the bathroom stall. I remember when Caine and I did that. It was an unbelievable experience. I will never forget. I finish and walk over to the sinks when I catch a familiar shirt. I stop to turn back. It can’t be.
Please God... NO!
I peek in the stall. OH. MY. GOD. I can’t breathe. I say unswervingly, “Oh my God,” which causes Caine to turn around and find me noticing him fucking some chick.

The wall
s are closing in on me. I can’t see past what’s in front of me. I need to get out of here. I cannot believe this. I rush out of the bathroom without washing my hands and out into the club. I take an alternate route for the door. I cannot confront Becca, Trish, or Lane right now. I need air.
Oh my God.
Why would he do this? We were just making out on the dance floor. He told me he missed this, so why was he fucking someone in the bathroom? What the fuck is wrong with him?

I am trying my hardest to hold back the tears but I can’t. He has ripped my heart out again. I’m pushing through the bodies to get out of here and it’s taking me longer than I anticipated. I feel the rush of cool air, knowing I’m close to getting out. I push forward. I don’t know if Caine
is following me or not; I don’t care. I just need to get out of this place and never look back. Fuck, Lane drove. I can’t leave.

Wait, I could get a taxi and tell the girls I wasn’t feeling well. I make it
outside and begin running down the sidewalk towards a more populated area where I can find a cab. I hear Caine’s voice.
Shit.
I begin running faster to keep as much distance between us as possible. I cannot have him catch up to me.

What the hell kind of excuse is he going to lay on me now? No excuse is going to get me to take him back. We are over. O.V.E.R. I can hear footsteps getting closer.
Where the fuck is a taxi when you need one?
There are always taxis around here. I remove my heels and turn into a full fledge run, hoping he can’t reach me before I make it safely away from him in a taxi. I see one coming up the street and relief washes over me.

I glance over my shoulder as I walk out into the street to get the taxi’s attention and find Caine right on my heels. I hear him yell, “Look out Lacey!” I turn around to find out what he’s talking about
. By this time, the taxi is heading straight for me, and the driver is looking for something in the seat next to him. I pull myself to a dead stop, hoping he will slam on his brakes.
Oh my God, Evan!
My feet are cemented into the pavement. I am paralyzed by fear. Please driver, look up, please.

Caine is screaming my name and I feel something heavy move me. I don’t know what it is. My body hurts and everything begins to spin. What the fuck just happened? I try to move, but I can’t.
Oh my God NO... please no,
Evan cannot have this. This isn’t fair. What the hell was I thinking going out tonight? Why wasn’t I with my son where I belong? My chest is heavy. I don’t know what has happened, but I hear screaming around me. I try to talk but I can’t as something is building in my throat. Please God, don’t take me, please. I need to see my baby, my favorite little man, my Evan.
Please God, NO...