Perfectly Broken (24 page)

Tomas flopped onto the sofa and stared at the
ceiling. The magnitude of the situation weighed heavily on his
mind. Susanna was just like the woman he’d read about. It could
have been written about her. And the results of such behavior more
often than not destroyed relationships, and endangered them in
other ways. Yet they couldn’t stop.

Of all that he’d read, one thing gave him hope,
and he thought it over. Tomas couldn’t allow Susanna to slip from
his grasp. He didn’t want to envision life without her. She was an
amazing person. She had just had a rough time. He resolved not to
give up.

He would be there for her. Tomas would help her.
There was every chance he would fail, but it wouldn’t be for lack
of trying. And the idea that he might succeed boosted his morale a
bit. He was a gambler, and he thrived on playing the odds.

When the odds were against him, Tomas had found
that though the risk was higher, the reward was greater. And in the
case of Susanna, he could win big. She was the woman he wanted.
There wasn’t a shred of doubt in his mind. And she was worth it,
whatever he had to do.

With that thought, he drifted to sleep on the
sofa without even undressing. Visions of Susanna, happy and
smiling, filled his dreams.

Hours later, he woke up and moved to his bed.
But he had a good feeling. Better than he’d had in a while. He was
a fighter, and he finally knew what he was fighting. It was going
to work. Tomas would make it work.

He set his alarm to get up early. He’d go for a
jog to clear his head before work. Tomas was tempted to call in to
say he was sick, but decided against it. He needed to stay calm and
rational. Everything depended upon it. Rash action would be
counterproductive.

He would go to work as usual, but he texted
Susanna that he would meet her later. He’d probably freak her out
if he told her he wanted to talk. She’d worry about it all day, and
there would be a chance she wouldn’t show up for the date. Plus he
hadn’t worked out just what he would say yet. But he wanted to be
with her.

At least he could hold her and know that she was
safe. Tomas wanted to put his arms around her to hold her close. He
wanted to protect her and rescue her from the monster that might
gobble her up. All day, he couldn’t wait to see her.

* * * * *

What Susanna needed was a diversion, something
that would take her mind off more serious issues. And Tomas had
just the solution. They ate a quick meal at the Hard Rock Café on
Fleet Street, and then he took her on Dublin’s Ghost Bus Tour.

When he’d picked her up at her apartment,
Susanna was dressed in a sort of neo-Gothic outfit. She had a black
turtleneck tucked into fluid, shiny black pants, and paired with
black leather boots. The short wool jacket she wore was dark gray,
and she had black leather gloves on. Hanging from the turtleneck
was a long black silk scarf.

She wore thick black makeup around her eyes, and
had filled every piercing in the curve of her ear with silver
rings. Her skin looked flawlessly pale and her blue eyes sharply
contrasted with all the black. On her lips she wore a deep, almost
death-like rose color. To finish it off, Susanna had a wide belt
around her narrow waist made of black patent leather.

She looked sexy as hell, and Tomas wanted to
take her straight to bed. But that wasn’t his plan. He stared at
her, and wanted to comment on how she looked. But Susanna didn’t
smile. Her mood seemed as dark as her outfit, so he kept quiet. He
helped her with her long wool overcoat and they went to dinner.

The Hard Rock was loud and busy. Though they
still managed to talk. Tomas had so much he was curious about,
especially since his recent discoveries. But he didn’t know quite
where to begin. As they swigged beer and munched on their burgers,
he made an attempt.

“Don’t you worry about getting pregnant?”

She raised her eyebrows. “Where did that come
from?”

He shrugged. “I’m interested, that’s all.”

Her expression darkened, and Tomas wondered if
he’d entered forbidden territory. But Susanna was direct with him,
like she had been about other subjects.

“I did get pregnant once.” Her eyes filled with
tears, and she put her burger back on the plate.

Tomas waited.

She bit her lower lip. “I was sixteen. Let’s
just say my birth control methods weren’t the best then. I was
devastated at first. But my parents were so great about it.”

“That’s good. How did the father react?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know who the father
was. There were a lot of possibilities.”

“Oh.”

She sighed. “Anyway, I couldn’t do what my
mother did. I couldn’t give up the baby. It would have broken my
heart. My parents would have helped me care for the child. They
would have let me live at home still, and helped me out.”

Susanna put her hand over her forehead, covering
her eyes.

“What happened? Tell me.”

She looked up and dabbed at her eyes with her
napkin. “I miscarried, very early in the pregnancy. And you know
what, Tomas?”

He shook his head.

A tear rolled down one cheek. “To this day, I
miss the child I never knew. For those few weeks, I was happy. It
was an amazing feeling.” She paused. “And if I’d had the baby, I’d
have a child now. Someone to love, and someone to love me.”

Tomas reached across the table and squeezed her
hand. “I’m so sorry.”

Susanna took a breath and sat a little
straighter. “Me too. But nothing ever works out.”

At a loss for what to say, Tomas kissed the top
of her hand. “I guess I shouldn’t have brought it up.” He looked
into her sad eyes. “I just want to know. I want to know everything
about you.”

She smiled, but there was no joy in it. “No,
Tomas, you don’t. I know you think you do. But you really don’t.
Trust me. There are things that it would be better if you don’t
know.”

Tomas disagreed, but didn’t say anything. He’d
probably said too much already, but he was glad about the insight
he’d gained into Susanna’s heart.

She took two gulps of her beer and picked up her
burger, but kept her eyes down. Susanna was a strong person. He
marveled at her ability to recover, and to survive what life handed
her.

“I still think you’d be great working with
children.”

Susanna chewed and swallowed. “I’d like to. I
want to help more than I do. I just don’t see how. I can barely
keep my life together as it is.”

“Things can change.”

She smiled. “Always the optimist.”

Tomas grinned, and was relieved to see she still
had her sense of humor. He changed the subject to more lighthearted
fare. His intention was to divert her mind from all the gloom and
raise her spirits. The heart-wrenching discussion about her
miscarriage wasn’t a good start to that.

As they chatted and ate, Susanna seemed to take
her attention off her past and focus on being together. They
finished their meal and went off to Dublin’s tour of terror. In her
outfit, Susanna fit right in with the Gothic interior of the bus,
with its darkness and blood-red velvet curtains. To add to image,
their guide claimed to be in tune with the afterlife.

She leaned into him. “A ghost tour? How old are
you?”

He put his arm around her. “I thought this would
be up your alley. You know…graveyards, dark nights, and gloomy
afterlife creatures.”

“Ah, you have me pegged.” She giggled. “Just
because I’m drawn to funerals and clinically depressed, doesn’t
mean I’m into goblins and ghouls.”

He tickled her, and she laughed again. Tomas
liked the tour idea better and better. It was a little-known fact
that Dublin was home to Bram Stoker, the author of
Dracula
.
As the tour crept through the city’s darkened streets, they learned
more about his origins.

On the upper level with the curtains closed, the
bus was dark and spooky. The first floor had been transformed into
a haunted attraction, and they had lingered there on their way up
to their seats. The guide was a professional actor, and as
hilarious as he was mysterious. He kept everyone laughing and
hanging on his every word.

The tour was a combination of entertainment,
laughter, and ghost stories, with a bit of a history lesson thrown
in. From the upper level of the bus, they saw some of the best
sites of the city, and even stopped to go into the underground
crypt at Christ Church Cathedral. Two other stops were made at
graveyards, and Susanna clung to Tomas, hoping to survive the
demonstration of body snatching.

“I was scared,” Susanna whispered when they got
back on the bus.

Tomas put both arms around her. “You’re safe. No
one is going to snatch you. Not while I’m here to protect you.”

She leaned her head against his chest. “Remind
me not to bring Isadora here. She’d have nightmares for
months.”

“Yeah, I might too.” Tomas chuckled.

Susanna sat up. “You better be kidding.”

He grinned. “Kidding.”

The scary tour worked up a thirst, and when they
left, Tomas took her to the Church Café, a bar and restaurant that
stayed open late. It was an old church that had been converted to a
pub. The structure had stained glass windows and dark wood wall
paneling. On the second floor were classic arched windows with
stone supports. That was where the upscale restaurant was. It was a
good atmosphere for counteracting the terror of the bus trip.

Susanna looked around. “I love this place.”

The place was buzzing with people, and the bar
was packed. Tomas found a table along the wall, and they settled
into the wooden chairs. He looked across at Susanna, who was gazing
at the interior of the remarkable building. She looked taken with
it.

“It’s great in the summer here. The outdoor beer
garden is a good place to hang out. And they serve a lot of
international beers.” Tomas looked up at the high ceiling. “I came
here with my dad once. We had Hoegaarden.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s a Belgian white ale, unfiltered, and
smells like oranges and lemons. Has sort of a spicy taste.”

“I’d like to try that.”

“It was good.”

The interior of the ancient church had a strange
feeling initially. But that was quickly overshadowed by a
comfortable, homey feel. There were three guys playing traditional
Irish music and two dancers on a table, entertaining the crowd.

Tomas looked up from his menu and caught
Susanna’s eye. “What are you in the mood for?”

The look she gave him stirred a reaction deep in
his loins, and Tomas looked forward to getting her alone. He gave
her a lustful gaze. “That’s next.”

She smiled.

“What would you like to drink?”

She put her menu down. “I’ll have what you’re
having.”

“I can’t pass up the Irish Mist,” he said. It
was a brown whiskey liqueur produced in Dublin that Tomas had a
fondness for.

“I’ll have that too.”

Tomas had his straight, on the rocks. Opting for
a softer drink, Susanna took the waiter’s suggestion and had hers
with cola. The Irish Mist was poured over ice in a tall highball
glass, and topped with cola. Then a wedge of lime was squeezed in
the top.

She took a sip. “Mmm, it tastes like honey and
spices.”

“It’s distinctive.” Tomas enjoyed the smooth,
warm flavor.

He couldn’t take his eyes off Susanna. Her red
hair was wild around her lovely face, as if she had run through the
graveyard away from the ghosts. It gave her an exotic look. The
black around her eyes had smudged a bit, and all Tomas could think
about was that it looked like she’d just had sex.

The black outfit covered every inch of her body,
except her hands and face, making him want to strip every garment
off of her. There was something about full clothing that was
erotic. It blocked any glimpse of her perfect body, which made him
want to see her naked. He wondered if she knew that.

Whether they were walking, talking, eating, or
having the wits scared out of them on a touristy bus ride, the
thought of having Susanna naked in his arms was never far from his
mind. With her thigh next to his in the bus seat, he had been
instantly aroused.

And when she’d clung to him in the spooky
graveyard, Tomas had wanted to do more than just hold her and tell
her it was okay. If there hadn’t been a busload of people around
them, he might have ripped off her black garb right there in the
dead of night, and given her so much pleasure that she would forget
about being scared.

While holding hands on the way to the café, the
mere touch of her skin against his sent heat through his body.
There was something about her, a sort of somber, deep sexuality
that drove him crazy. He had not known any other woman like
Susanna. Every day that passed, and every second that ticked by, he
wanted her more.

Where that would take them, he wasn’t sure. But
he knew one thing. Before the night was over, he would have her.
Tomas knew she wanted him as much as he wanted her. And that
escalated his excitement. The bus tour diversion would be nothing
compared to what he had in mind for her later.

Susanna sipped her drink, and he watched how she
held the straw in her lips. His pants grew tighter between his
legs, and his patience for waiting grew less. She looked at him, at
her beautiful blue eyes, innocent and sensual. The only thing he
wanted was to please her, to make her come while she quivered in
his arms.

His drink was empty. Susanna took the last sip
of hers then pushed it aside. “Shall we go?” Her meaning was
clear.

His pulse quickened, and Tomas stood to pull out
her chair for her. Her sweet scent filled his nostrils as he helped
her into her coat. He knew he wouldn’t be able to hold back, and
was glad his apartment wasn’t far away. It was going to be a night
Susanna wouldn’t soon forget. Nor would he. Tomas wrapped his arm
around her and guided her out, preoccupied with getting her naked
and feeling her warm skin against his.