The No-cry Sleep Solution (44 page)

Shannon, mother of nineteen-month-old Joshua

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The No-Cry Sleep Solution

mouth. When she has done this a number of times over a period of days, you will notice the removals are much easier, and her awakenings are less frequent.

Pantley’s Gentle Removal Plan looks something like this.

(This example shows a breastfeeding baby, but the plan is the same whether Baby is breastfeeding, using a bottle, or using a pacifier.)

Baby is awake and nursing vigorously.

Baby’s eyes close, and his sucking rate slows.

You gently remove your nipple.

Baby roots (moving his open mouth toward you).

You try holding his chin, but he’ll have none of that!

You put him back to the breast.

Count: one thousand, two thousand, . . . ten thousand.*

You gently remove your nipple.

Baby roots.

You try stalling, but no dice.

You put him back to the breast.

Count: one thousand, two thousand, . . . ten thousand.

You gently remove your nipple.

Baby roots.

You put him back to the breast.

Count: one thousand, two thousand, . . . ten thousand.

You gently remove your nipple.

Baby moves a little, and you gently hold his mouth closed.

Baby doesn’t resist; he is nearly out.

You place Baby in bed.

He goes to sleep.

*The counting is really more for you, to give you a gauge to measure your time and a way to keep yourself calm during your repeated attempts. You can be flexible as you figure out what time spacing works best for you and your baby.

Review and Choose Sleep Solutions

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Repeat this process every night until Baby learns she can fall asleep without nursing, sucking a bottle, or using her pacifier. If your baby is a “good napper,” you can use the technique for putting her to sleep at naptime, too.

If your baby doesn’t nap well, don’t trouble yourself with trying too hard to use the removal technique during the day for naps. Remember that good naps mean better nighttime sleep—

and better nighttime sleep means better naps. It’s a circle. Once you get your baby sleeping better at night, you can then work on the naptime sleep—although once you solve the nighttime association, the naptime sleep may solve itself.

The most important time to use the Pantley’s Gentle Removal Plan is the first falling asleep of the night. Often the way your baby falls asleep will affect the rest of his awakenings for the night. I suspect that this is because of the sleep-association affect that I explained earlier when we discussed basic sleep facts. It seems that the way in which your baby falls asleep for the night is how he expects to remain all night long.

Because we want no crying, this is not a one-day solution. But within ten days, as you gently break this strong sleep association, you should see a major reduction in the number of your baby’s night wakings.

Changing Your Routine

Very often we parents have a routine we have followed with our babies since birth. The final step before sleep is often nursing or having a bottle. Some babies, like my Coleton, can continue this pattern and still sleep through the night. Others, though, need to have the final step in their routine changed before they begin to sleep all night without needing your help to fall back to sleep. What you’ll want to do is take an objective look at your final steps in putting your baby to sleep and make some changes if necessary.

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You may want to use massaging, cuddling, or the key words idea (pages 121–122) to help get your baby back to sleep. Eventually the key words and a loving pat will take over for nursing or bottle-feeding, and then that too will fade away, and your baby will be sleeping longer. Here’s what one test mommy reported:
Mother-Speak

“I have changed the way I’m putting Carlene to sleep and it’s working! Instead of nursing her down, I just feed her until she is relaxed and then I just let her do whatever she wants in the very dim room with me. When she rubs her eyes and looks sleepy I put her in her crib. I used to go out of the room, hoping she would drift off herself, but she would just get agitated and work herself up until I came back. But now, I just stay there. I stand next to the crib, and encourage her to sleep. I say my key words, ‘Shhh, it’s night-night time, close your eyes sleepy girl,’ and I tell her that it’s OK to go to sleep. I rub her head or her tummy. She shuts her eyes right when I do this.

She’ll open them back up a few times, but eventually she settles. Since I’m not nursing or rocking, she is falling asleep without these, so when she lightly wakes during sleep cycle transition, she is finally able to go back to sleep without me.

It’s been a major breakthrough.”

Rene, mother of seven-month-old Carlene

Help Your Baby to Fall Back to Sleep on His Own

While You Continue to Breastfeed and Co-Sleep

This idea may help breastfeeding and co-sleeping babies.

Let me start by saying that, when you breastfeed and co-sleep, you may find that your baby will wake more often than if she