101 Nights of Great Sex (23 page)

Up close, he sees the rest of your naughty outfit. Under an open robe, you’re wearing only panties and a bra. In red, of course. Be bold. Smile as you pat his zipper. Slowly undo his belt. Timeless dominatrix move: fold the belt in half and
crack it
—and watch him jump. Open his pants, and let them drop to the floor. Leave his underwear on, and continue to massage the growing shaft hidden inside.

Pull his cotton-clad erection to your mouth and kiss it. Yes, plant a bright lip-print right on his briefs over his twitching penis. Kiss it again and again. Pull it into your mouth and nibble it through the fabric.
Oh. My. God.
Suddenly...
what’s that sound?
Yes, he knows! It’s a vibrator. You had it hidden between your legs, and now it’s buzzing against your clit while he watches you drag your teeth across the taut fabric. After a bit, bring the buzzing toy to your lips and kiss it. Invite him to kiss it, too.
Yum
. Now whisper:
“Bend over the chair.”

Oh, that’s
naughty!
Stand up and make him lean forward over the chair. Walk behind him. Compliment him on his lovely
arse
. Run your nails across his bum and don’t be afraid to dig in.

Pull his underwear down.
“Ooh, look what I found!”
you squeal, cupping his jewels. Laugh and give them a gentle squeeze. Pull the belt from your robe and tickle his bottom with the silky fabric. Run it between his thighs and tie it loosely around his erection, tugging the ends to make his penis dance and his sack jiggle.

You have his full attention now. The fabric knotted around his shaft; the submissive position; your amazing outfit and strong sexual persona—no wonder the Brits love bedroom games. Even better, this game allows your man to slip into an erotic reverie. He’ll do anything you say, not because he’s your prisoner, but because it just feels so bloody good!

Give him two more orders. First: tell him to get on his knees, in front of the chair. You’re going to sit in it again, but this time it won’t be the back of the chair between your legs, but rather, his head. Take your time, enjoy; there’s no doubt who’s in charge here. You’ve earned his loving licks. And then, when you’re ready: make him lift your ankles high in the air while he slides inside you, pumping, rocking, and making love in the chair until the two of you thoroughly soak the silky belt from your robe, still tied around his tool.

Oh dear. I hope it’s machine washable.

This is the end of this chapter.
Click here
to go back to the Table of Contents

O
NE OF MY DEAREST FRIENDS
is married to a wonderful woman named Marcia. I absolutely love this amazing story he tells about her:

“It started off because our new tile floors were too cold for Marcia, so she started wearing slippers around the house. She has this routine where she always takes a long bath, and this one particular night, while she was waiting for the tub to fill, she couldn’t find her robe. So she went strolling to the kitchen wearing nothing but a pair of fuzzy, leopard-print slippers.

Naturally, I expressed my admiration for the view as she walked by! She laughed, took a little bow, even did a little dance. I cheered her on, and she winked and said if I was a good boy, I might get to see that again sometime.

Well, it became a nightly ritual, this Fuzzy Slipper Dance, and I can’t tell you how much I look forward to it. It’s gotten better over the years, too; she’s added some real dance moves. Then last year — this was so cool! — last year she found a big pink feather boa, like old-time strippers used. It’s kind of a cheap thing, and it’s been slowly falling apart. Every night when she dances with it, a few more tiny little pink feathers escape and float away.

And I just love it. It’s the anchor to my entire day. I might be catching up on the news, or bills, or watching TV, but I know that at some point every night, for just a minute or two, this beautiful naked woman is going to dance for me. And she knows that I am going to stop everything, watch appreciatively, and remind her how gorgeous she is.”

Oh-h-h, Marcia! You are an inspiration to us all. I just love that story because it drives home the importance of flirting, even after your relationship has long been established. Especially then. The happiest couples I know flirt regularly, and often. Their little flirting rituals can be funny or sexy or romantic or, like the Fuzzy Slipper Dance, all three at once. But they are not meant to be foreplay—they simply reinforce the relationship. Every time you flirt with your guy, you remind him that he is—and always will be—Number One.

As for me, I used to get dressed in the closet, and usually in a hurry, until one day it became clear how much Jeff loved to watch me do it. Now I make a show of it, just for him. I also have a special little butt-grabbing-wiggle-dance I do when I leave the bedroom—no, I will not demonstrate!—and it always makes him laugh and applaud. He makes me come back if I forget. Notice that these little routines don’t lead directly to sex. But they’re just as important as sex when it comes to building a sense of intimacy between lovers.

Your assignment this week is to create a new flirting ritual. Oh, and to have sex, too, of course. But keep the two separate. You want to show your guy that you can have wild sex, and also have intimate, romantic moments that are not foreplay. Every couple needs both. So this Saturday night, do your man. Then on Sunday... and Monday, Tuesday, etc... do your dance. Bonus points if you include a pink feather boa.

This is the end of this chapter.
Click here
to go back to the Table of Contents

A
S WOMEN, IT FEELS LIKE
we’re always trying to live up to an expectation of sexuality: Wear sexy lingerie. Know how to give a great blowjob. Take control of your desires. It’s become the mantra for women throughout the centuries.

Taking control of our sexuality can be a lot of fun, but sometimes it’s just nice to buck all the sexual expectations and be delightfully innocent. To be free of sexual experience and expectations. To get rid of the sex props and techniques and just be one hundred percent you. Expose that soft, innocent side of yourself. Think Anastasia Steele when she first met Christian Grey. That kind of innocence goes a long long way.

Give yourself at least half an hour to set up this sexy welcome home. So choose a day when you know he’ll be out of the house for a little while.

When he’s gone, set up a blanket and pillows in the living room. Turn off the lights, light candles around you, and put some sweet and innocently sexy music on your audio player. Old fashioned love songs, like
Unchained Melody
by the Righteous Brothers are just as tender as the newest romance songs like
No Ones Gonna Love You
, by Band of Horses.

Put on your demure lingerie and a pair of dainty heels. Tie your hair in pigtails (or up in a high ponytail) and put on just a bit of makeup—mascara and lip gloss will do. Wear just a hint of soft, floral perfume.

Outside the front door, leave a glass of his favorite wine or drink with a note telling him you’ve missed him. He’s going to be expecting something risque, but he’s going to be surprised at what he finds: you, lying on the blanket on your belly with your elbows bent, your chin resting on your hands and your feet up in the air.

Sweet? You bet. But sexy too. He’s going to want to protect you and do you at the same time. And you can just guess which desire is going to win...

This is the end of this chapter.
Click here
to go back to the Table of Contents

A
FEW YEARS AGO
, J
EFF AND
I
took a vacation—excuse me, “went on holiday”—to London. Two days in, we found ourselves in a “pub” when Jeff turned to me with a perfectly straight face and asked, “What is up with all the cleavage in this town?” I burst out laughing, because I had been thinking the same thing.

They weren’t displayed in that barely-covered style you see in Miami or LA. What we saw was lots of
décolletage
—demure dresses and suits cut deep in front to show the delicious curve of the female breast. Big, small, and in-between, British lasses are happy to open an extra button to show their bits. I was impressed.

This week, you and your man are celebrating your breasts. To get the “t” party started, you’ll need a beautiful new bra and some, uh, accessories. What kind? Well, I’m going to use two words that sound much scarier than they really are:
nipple clamps
.

Ouch!
you’re probably thinking. But all your fears will be dispelled once you see the latest in breast fashions. Temporary nipple tattoos. Jeweled appliqués. Chocolate pasties, with peanut butter adhesive. Yum. And yes, nipple clamps—padded, spring-loaded and adjustable. Consider purchasing Betty’s Bells—small cups made of clear plastic that fit over your nipples. Once you squeeze the air out, they stay attached through gentle vacuum pressure. More comfortable than metal clamps, they create an extraordinary visual effect guaranteed to mesmerize your guy: y
our nipples get drawn into the cups
, causing them to extend, swell, and become quite sensitive.

Since choosing a sex toy is a highly personal decision, you should pick whatever appeals to you.

So, whenever you read “Betty’s Bells” here, imagine your own favorite breast toy.

Begin this “breast worship week” by putting the girls on display. Make sure your guy sees a lot of them peeking through revealing tops, lingerie, packed into brassieres, or set free. Remember:
he adores them
. Want to get his attention? Stand in front of the mirror one morning before he leaves for work, and tweak your nipples. “Wow, these seem extra sensitive today. Do they seem different to you, honey?” Your man will spend the rest of the day thinking:
Extra Sensitive Nipples.
Hah! He’ll be lucky if he gets any work done.

Go out to dinner Saturday and wear a jacket over your sheerest white blouse, extra unbuttoned. Under
that
—nothing but pretty temporary tats or stick-on jewels around your nipples. Just before going in, flash him, and smile. Will you flash him at the table? (Will the cute waiter catch a glimpse??) Promise your guy more than just peek-a-boo. Let him know he’s in for a special treat... if he minds his manners. When you get home and undressed, push him down on the bed, straddle his hips, and show him Betty’s Bells, the two cups connected by a light chain. Apply a few drops of lubricant to the edges of the cups; press them to your breasts and watch his eyes pop as your nipples start to swell and his jaw drop as you lift the lube high over your head and pour, rubbing it dramatically and excessively over your breasts. Dita Van Teese would be proud.

Hang your breasts over his face and tug the chain between them—
ooh, wow, what a feeling!
—and encourage him to do the same. For him, it’s an incredible visual feast, but for you it’s more—a combination of tickling and pulling with an intense sensation of suckling, focusing your mind and the whole universe onto your buzzing nipples.

Slowly scoot down his legs so that the chain drags across his body. Slide it around his erect penis. Press your breasts and nips against his shaft. If you dare, loop the chain under his testicles and lift, ever so gently, creating some erotic tension between your most tender parts and his. (Hey, now you’ve got him by the Bells!)

There’s a limit to how long you can wear your toys, and that’s different for each woman. When they come off, your man will be floored by their size—swollen, bigger than ever—and
you’ll
will be astonished by their sensitivity. That sensation is temporary, so make sure you take advantage... again and again. Like those cheeky Brits, now that you’ve rediscovered your affection for your magnificent and lovely breasts, you’ll be showing them off a little more too.

This is the end of this chapter.
Click here
to go back to the Table of Contents