101 Nights of Great Sex (33 page)

But when it comes to taste, there’s just one that’s always guaranteed to, um, raise the flag, if you know what I mean. It’s the glorious, fragrant, slightly sweet and always highly evocative flavor of your lady’s you-know-what. This week, believe it or not, you’re going to sneak a bite when your lover isn’t looking!

Pick a day when you both can sleep in for a while without interruption. First thing in the morning, encourage her to stay in the sack. Cuddle up close to her; she’ll love being held as she drifts in and out of that drowsy half-awake state. When she slips back into dreamland, crawl out of bed and head for the kitchen, where you’ll make some coffee or tea or some other hot drink. Bring her a cup, but before you present it to her, take a big sip—

And climb under the covers. Way under. Try very hard not to wake her before you run your tongue right across her belly and down to her sweetness.

Wow! What a way to wake up. The drink has heated your mouth and moistened your lips. Your tongue is creating steam everywhere it touches. The hot fluid engorges her, making every lick feel like an orgasm.

She might still be dreaming... sweet dreams, no doubt. But soon she’ll come to realize the magic you’re making is no fantasy. Don’t expect conversation from your little sleepyhead this morning—but a deep sigh and a few moans will let you know you’re on the right track.

As for you, enjoy, but I should warn you: a mouthful of hot liquid will also speed up her orgasm and make it twice as intense.

And twice as addictive.

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T
HREE MEALS A DAY, SEVEN DAYS A WEEK.

By the time you’re 28 years old, you’ve eaten more than 30,000 meals. But how many do you actually remember? How many are so special that you talk about them years later? Here’s one that will go right to the top of that list, a dinner you’ll never forget. Or, to be more precise, a dinner your
lover
will never forget.

Start by letting her know that you’re taking charge. Early in the week, send her an e-mail like this one.

You are going to LOVE Saturday night. Kids will be at your mom’s—I’ll have dinner ready at seven. You don’t even have to dress up because we’re staying home. But a skirt would be nice. Yes, a skirt would be perfect. Wear a skirt. ;-)

Dinner, no kids and
you’re taking care of everything
?? Oh, she is so looking forward to the weekend now. But just to keep her on the edge of anticipation, send one more e-mail on Friday:

Did I mention you should wear a skirt tomorrow night?

Love - Me

Preparation is easy. Dinner can be takeout from your favorite restaurant. Just dress it up a little by serving it on real plates with a couple of candles.

By the time she gets out of the bathroom—clean, smelling great, wearing a cute skirt and a grin from ear-to-ear—she’s going to be the happiest woman in town. Enjoy your meal. Have a drink. Or two.

Then whip out the handcuffs.

What, no cuffs in your toolbox?? Then buy a pair! Before your sweetie gets up from the table, give her a big kiss... let her see your new toy and play with it for a moment... and then gently lock her wrists together behind the chair.

Kneel in front of her. Slide your hand between her knees and move them apart, hiking her skirt up as you go. Kiss her thighs and her hips. Nibble at the edge of her undies... nibble her through her undies... and then tug them aside. She can’t help, she can’t stop, she can’t do anything at all right now except enjoy being the focus of your attention and your love. And your tongue. Remind her that, of all those 30,000-plus meals you’ve had in your life, she’s still your favorite thing to eat...

You’re not quite done yet, though. To make this truly a meal for the ages, a dinner that glows forever in her memory, you still have to do two remarkable, wonderful things:

1)  Bring her to a shuddering climax.

And then:

2)  Do the dishes.

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I
F YOU
’
VE GOT A SHOEBOX, YOU CAN TURN ANY WOMAN ON
.

No, seriously. No one loves an expensive gift more than me, but I have to share one of the Great Truths of Great Sex: Diamonds aren’t really a girl’s best friend. What really makes a woman hot is not jewelry, or flowers, or anything you can buy. It’s not even romance. (But this doesn’t mean you can skip the jewels, flowers and romance!)

No, what makes an orgasm great — earth-shattering, mind-blowing, out-of-this-world great — is anticipation. Hey, sex is good, pretty much any time. But you know what’s even better? Sex you’ve been thinking about. Sex you’ve been waiting for, and dreaming of, and planning. For a woman, the act of imagining sex counts as foreplay, and when it comes to foreplay, here’s Laura’s number one rule: More is better.

Which brings me to the shoebox and how you can use it to get your woman hot. Start by filling it with some of her favorite sex stuff. Massage oil, of course. A scented candle. A little Godiva chocolate.

A vibrator, maybe. Are there any other toys you’ve tried that she loves? Throw them in. Maybe get adventurous and add some candy g-string panties or some body paint. Use your imagination to spark hers. Then close the lid and tape it shut. (Interesting side note: This may be the only time in your entire life that duct tape can be used for purposes of seduction.)

Friday morning, hand her the box. “This,” you say with a smile, “can give you the greatest orgasm you’ve ever had.” Umm... what did you just say? “You heard me. Best orgasm ever. In this box. Wanna know what it is?”

Well, yeah, she does want to know. She wants to know pretty bad, in fact. But she can’t open it, not until Saturday night. And that means for almost two whole days, she’ll be thinking about that orgasm and imagining what’s in the box. She’ll shake it. She’ll move it around. And no matter what else she does, she’ll always find her thoughts drifting back to that box.

Saturday night, tell her to bring the shoebox to the bedroom. Dim the lights, put on some sexy music, and unseal the box. But before you open it... blindfold her (use something soft and silky). And then, one by one, pull your surprises from the box. Use them. And use your hands and mouth and everything else. Stimulate her sense of touch, her sense of smell, her sense of taste. But the real object tonight is to overwhelm that one sense that’s been on edge for days, like an erotic itch just begging to be scratched:

Her sense of anticipation.

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What is it about leather that makes it so fascinating? A woman looks totally hot in a leather miniskirt. A man in black leather strikes us as powerful, even foreboding. Our fantasies are often not of exposed skin, but of a
second
skin made of soft, supple leather.

When evening rolls around and your flirting turns to touching, make a dramatic move. Yank off your leather belt, grab it by the ends, and rope her in. Pull her hard against you for a kiss. Slip the strap down her back, stopping every few inches to cinch it in, especially when you’ve got it tight against her butt. Now help her get undressed, and if there’s any kind of leather jacket in the house, ask her to put it on, skin to skin.

Wear gloves so that your every touch is a kiss of leather. Use your belt like a silk scarf, dragging it across each inch of her flesh, one side slightly course, the other butter-smooth. Draw it snug against her face for the overwhelmingly sensual aroma. Bite her nipples
through
the tender hide.

Ask her to lay face-down on the bed and, as she stretches out, straddle her back facing her deliciously bare bottom. Massage her thighs and calves. Part her cheeks with your leather-clad hands; trail your fingers between her legs. Is she wet? Is she soaking the tanned skin? Now ask her to turn over; spread her legs wide. Take the very end of your belt and
dip it inside her.
Get it soaked with her nectar. Place the tip squarely over her clitoris and, with only a light squeeze, gently slide it off. The slick friction, the pressure, the exquisite
pop
as her clit comes free from it’s leather restraint will have it singing. Do it again. And again, faster and firmer. Each soft snap of leather on her flesh pushes her closer to the edge. Alternate with light strokes from your fingers and strong licks from your tongue. Make it quicker, and wetter, and when she explodes, press all your toys against her steaming lips. Let her drench them with her honey.

Now, what are you going to do with a belt that carries the very faint aroma of sex? Well, if she pulls it out of the closet for you one evening — it’s a sure bet she doesn’t want you to get dressed for dinner.

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I
T
’
S SO NICE TO HAVE A MAN
around the house!

You take care of us, you make us feel beautiful, and you’re so
good at fixing little things
. Well, most of you, anyway. Of course, you also work too many hours, you drop your socks on the floor, you never do your share of the housework....

None of that matters; we love you anyway. But do you know the one thing that really, seriously bugs us? The thing you all do that just drives us nuts?!

You don’t talk to us. You don’t tell us what’s on your mind, or what you want, or how you feel about us. And when it comes to sex, well....

You’re going to surprise your true love. You’re going to startle her, and thrill her. You’re going to
seduce her with your words
all week long, and, in the process, discover an entirely new path to arousal.

Start with flirty words, the language of romance. Ring her up at work—
Hi! No, no special reason. Just missed you, I guess. I was sitting here thinking about you, and I thought I’d call to say I love you....

Sounds so simple, doesn’t it? But you just knocked her socks off.