As You Turn Away (The Walker Boys) (16 page)

“Evenin’, Darren.” Jonah kept his tone neutral; he wasn’t about to stir up anything with Jamie present. “You don’t seem as ready to kill me as usual.”

“I recently decided you aren’t as much of a—” Darren paused and eyed Jamie like he was wondering what he could get away with, but then smirked at Jonah. “A tool as I thought you were.”

Jonah noticed Ethan shaking his head; Reece’s lips were pressed tightly together, but a few choking sounds still emerged. Jonah stared at Darren, unsure what to say. Darren hated him, and had—from what Jonah gathered—ever since Jonah and Quinn ended their relationship.

“Not that I disagree with you, but what led to your change in heart?” Jonah leaned forward slightly, lowering his voice. “Last time we saw each other, you wanted to kick my ass. And I wanted to let you try for awhile, then put you out of your misery.”

Reece busted out into full-on laughter. Darren glanced at him, then lazily back at Jonah. “My cousin decided to be friends with you.” He said it as though it was such a simple explanation. “If Quinn can do that, then I figured, hell, I should be able to. I mean, your brothers ain’t so bad, and you have to be
something
like them.”

Jonah wasn’t sure whether to laugh at Darren or punch him. “Good of you,” he said finally, knowing there was more to it than Darren’s explanation, but also not to push. Darren not wanting to pummel him was a start, and if Jonah and Quinn really were going to keep up their friendship, having her cousin
not
hate him was excellent. “Thanks.” He nodded at Darren, hoping to show he actually meant it.

Darren straightened, and held his fist out to Reece, who pounded it. Then he did the same with Jamie, though he just held his fist still and let Jamie swat at him. He tipped his chin to Ethan, and then pulled his cowboy hat low over his eyes. “See you around, Jonah.”

Jonah stared after Darren’s retreating figure for so long that he didn’t even process what his brothers were saying at first. Their words were background noise that slowly filtered into focus.

“So have you and Reynolds talked since the market?” This from Reece, who was producing toy cars from his pocket for Jamie to roll along the bleachers in front of them. He squinted at Jonah.

“We’ve texted, mostly.” Jonah looked away, not liking his brothers’ gentle concern. He was afraid the longer they studied him, the more he would spill. “We saw each other in the grocery store, and a time or two before that.” He sighed, breath escaping him in a rush. “I guess we’re…friends.”

Silence followed, until someone called Ethan’s name. He leaned in to hug Jamie close, whispering to him, then jumped off the bleachers. “It’s my next run.” He leveled a gaze at Jonah. “Joe, just go slow. She broke your heart once, and you broke hers, so we’re lookin’ out for you.” With that, he ran off into the crowd.

Jonah stared at him until he disappeared. Jamie crashed one of his cars into Jonah’s foot, and Jonah hoped that this time he and Quinn wouldn’t crash and burn.

~~~~~

The knock on his door sounded a half hour after Jonah decided to tackle unpacking the kitchen boxes, and approximately twenty-nine minutes after he gave up and retreated to the living room in defeat. He stood and walked over to the door, opening it with the chain on; when he saw Reece, he unlatched the chain and swung the door open all the way.

“Welcome to the disaster zone,” he proclaimed.

Reece walked in carrying a box of pizza and a six-pack of beer, and stopped a few feet into the living room. He glanced from the stacks of boxes piled along one side of the room, to the mess in the kitchen, to the lone couch and flat screen television that were the only things in the living room unboxed. He pushed his glasses up on his head and eyed the beer. “I think I should have brought more of this and less pizza.”

Jonah took the food from him, and rummaged around in his pocket until he found some crumpled napkins he’d saved from the tractor pull last night. “The last time I moved anywhere, it was into a college dorm. It was the size of this room, and I had my guitar with me, and some clothes. Our kitchen was a microwave and a hot plate.”

“You don’t know where things go?” Reece guessed. He sat on the couch and leaned back, twisting the top off one of the beers. “It’s not that hard. Kitchen goes in the kitchen. Bedroom goes in the bedroom.” He raised an eyebrow. “You got a bed?”

Jonah sat beside him, and snagged a beer. He dropped the cap back into the container and took a long swallow. “Yeah, I’ve got a bed. I’ve got some other things in storage still. I just don’t know where things go
in
the kitchen, or bedroom. Why, do
you
know?”

Grabbing a piece of pizza from the box, Reece took a huge bite. When he swallowed, he nodded. “Yeah. I mean, I was a slacker when Han and I were married, but when you’re on your own, you learn stuff like how to cook some basic meals, how to use things.” He shrugged, and finished the pizza. “I can help you.”

Jonah took another swig and started on his first piece of pizza as Reece moved on to his second. “That would be great. Ma offered but she’s done so much since I came back, and they’ve got her working overtime this week. I wanted to do this on my own, but…” He frowned and gestured around the room “So yeah, I’d appreciate it a lot.”

Finishing his beer, Reece stood. He walked into the kitchen, and shook his head. “Come on, brother. Let’s get to work.”

With Jonah and Reece working as a team, they managed to organize his kitchen and bathroom in a few hours. They wrestled with the bed for a while, but figured it out, and then Reece ribbed him about needing a big bed for all the women he was going to bring over. Jonah let it pass though, because it felt so right having Reece talking to him and messing with him again, that he didn’t care to take some teasing.

By the time they made it back to the living room, a baseball game was on. The Braves were playing and down by two runs. Jonah groaned. “Ethan will gripe for a week if they lose.”

“Let’s hope they don’t lose.” Reece closed his eyes, and Jonah was just getting used to the silence when Reece spoke again. “I know I didn’t apologize last night. It wasn’t because I think I shouldn’t have to. I mean, I was wrong to seem like I wanted to keep Jamie from you. But Jonah, do you understand why I did what I did?”

Jonah studied Reece, ignoring the game. “Yeah, I get it. I didn’t at first, because I was mad, but if he was mine, I’d do whatever I had to do to protect him, too.”

The crack of a baseball bat sounded from the TV. The batter for the Braves rounded the bases, stepping triumphantly on home base before Reece spoke again.

“That’s all it ever was. It was never me trying to hurt you,” he went on. “Not to make this a chick flick moment or anything, but you know I missed you.” He grinned at Jonah, and tossed him another beer before taking one for himself.

“I missed you too.” Jonah leaned back into the couch. “I’m glad I went to college, and I did make a few friends but they aren’t family.” None of his college friends could compare with his bond with his brothers. He was realizing that all over again being home.

“I worked at a coffeehouse for awhile,” he said, closing his eyes. “I hated it, except they had jam sessions on Saturday nights, or else I wouldn’t have stayed as long as I did. That’s how I found out about a couple of open-mic nights around town. Whenever anyone asked me where I learned how to play, I told them my brother taught me.”

The raw vulnerability in his brother’s expression told Jonah he’d finally said something right. He’d taken his guitar to Atlanta on impulse; he’d spent a lot of nights playing it while he was there to feel something familiar. “I’d let the music wash over me, and it felt like something I understood.” Jonah paused, the words dancing beyond his reach. “It felt like…home.”

“Yeah,” Reece said softly. “I get it, little brother.”

They watched the rest of the game in silence, and finished the pizza and the beer. Jonah thought ahead to the rest of the summer: cattle sales, picking crops, working the farm. Nights working on Baby with his dad. He had a lot to look forward to before school started.

“So, about Reynolds.” Reece muted the television; the Braves won 5-4, which was a blessing. He trained his gaze on Jonah. “What’s really going on with you and her?”

Jonah flinched. “We’re friends, is all.” He lifted the beer to his lips and drained it.

“No,” Reece said slowly. “You’re not. I mean, I saw the way y’all looked at each other at the market. You may
think
you’re friends, but people like the two of you, with your history? You aren’t friends. You ain’t made to be friends.” He shook his head.

Jonah inhaled slowly, rolling Reece’s words around in his mind. He had made the offer to Quinn because he couldn’t imagine going through the rest of his life being mad at her. Passing her on the street and not being able to speak to her. Running into her in line at the movies and ignoring her. Seeing her with a date, and…

“You’re squeezing that bottle pretty hard.” Reece’s comment was mild, but it arrowed through Jonah.

“I don’t know, okay? I knew I didn’t want to stay mad at her, was all.” He paused, thinking back to the cemetery, briefly holding Quinn’s hand, and the feeling of her soft skin under his. Thought about how anytime he knew she was in pain, his instinct was still to protect her and fix whatever was wrong. How even after all this time, he still thought of her as his, and likely always would.

“Joe?” Reece’s tone was gentle, which made it hurt all the more. It was the same tone he used approaching a spooked horse. “It’s okay if you feel something more for her. Han and I were over a long time ago, but I’ll always love her, because she’s Jamie’s mom, and she was a huge, important part of my life for so long.”

Jonah sighed, and it felt like all the air went out of the room. “That’s…that’s not what I feel for Quinn.” He ground his teeth together. “Dammit, this was supposed to be simple.” He focused on Reece, who looked back at him, not pushing. Just waiting. And that was enough to break the barriers Jonah worked so hard to put between himself and his feelings for Quinn.

He dreamed of her almost every night, dreams that friends did not have about other friends. He wanted to dance with her again, take her back to the ocean and kiss her in the waves, like he had the first time as kids. How in the graveyard, if she’d let him, he would have taken her home and made sure she rested until she felt stronger. He thought about wanting to be there with her when she woke at night, to reassure her, hold her. To put his mouth on the places that would make her moan or whisper his name.

He gave way to the truth like storm clouds that couldn’t hold the rain back any longer. “I’m still in love with her.”

“She looks good with them.” A weight settled onto the swing with him, followed by the smell of a cigar.

Turning his head, Jonah nodded. Papa Bill puffed on his cigar, the sweet, cloying scent reaching Jonah. “She does. I feel like she’s always been here…part of the family.”

Jonah chewed on his lip for a few minutes, not needing to fill the silence. His grandfather knew Jonah well enough to wait it out. That was one of the things Jonah loved about being around his Papa. They could talk, or not talk. Do something, or not. It didn’t matter, as long as they were together. It was different with the rest of the family—they were loud, and sometimes messy, and loving. There were always rambunctious dinners, or impromptu football games until the street lamp came on. But with Papa Bill, there was just companionship. Jonah didn’t have to be the angry bad boy he was at school, or the farmer’s kid he was at home, or the have-not Quinn’s family thought he was. He was…just Jonah. And that was enough.

“How did you know you and Grandma Christine were meant to be?”

His grandfather laughed quietly, and scratched at the salt-and-pepper stubble on his chin.

“I didn’t at first. All I knew was that I was so nervous she’d say she didn’t want anything to do with me.” He chuckled again. “I was shakin’ like a leaf when I knocked on her door and asked her on a date. But against the odds, we were always happy together. And things for us never felt stale.” He puffed on the cigar, and then faced Jonah. “I guess I knew when I realized she felt like she’d always been in my heart, boyo. Even when we’d been together years, everything still felt new.”

Jonah mulled over his Papa’s words, and found Quinn again. She was laughing, cheeks flushed, and everything about her felt like home. He still got nervous when he kissed her, even though they’d been together almost two years. Making love to her was amazing, and felt new every single time.

“Well.” He smiled as he watched her catch the football. “That’s how I feel about Quinn, Papa. Just like I’ve always loved her…and I hope I always will.”

Quinn walked into Louisa’s and felt as though she were tumbling back in time. Between walking for the first time today without her crutches, and the realization that the diner was almost exactly as it was when she left, Quinn was thrown. She looked at the vinyl booths and the familiar red curtains at each window, and couldn’t help but smile as she settled into a booth. A waiter brought her a menu, and the lettering she knew so well still graced the cover. Quinn traced the “L” as she propped her chin on her hand.